Please Help-Need Advice

  • Hammer89

    Posts: 237

    Mar 22, 2013 3:43 AM GMT
    Gonna try and keep this as short and sweet of a story as possible.

    Started talking to this guy over a year ago. On and off over that year we'd text and see how eachother has been, etc etc. Eventually we decided to meet up and go on a date. This date happened about 2 months ago. As usual it had it's awkward moments but overall not bad.

    After about two weeks(since we were both very busy anyway) We wanted to meet up again. We got breakfast and after breakfast he asked if I wanted to see his new apartment he was re-doing. I agreed and went back and ended up hooking up with eachother. Didn't' have sex or anything, just kissed. Great kisser.

    Here come's the problem though. We continue texting normally nothing wrong and then all of a sudden he starts being short and then eventually stops texting me back.

    I eventually got some responses back with him stating he was very busy with mid-terms and what not. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, i always do. I give everyone 10 extra chances than they deserve always just incase something came up. Cuz ya never know. But now he's on vacation on spring break and I've only asked him how it was and no response.

    Before some of y'all jump on my shit, I realize part of me is probably being a "little bitch." But I can't help that I really like this guy. We've only "met" twice but we've been texting and talking for a long time and I don't understand why the sudden silence. Can't wrap my head around someone doing that to another.

    but the kicker is...HE came on to ME. I pushed away for a while and then all of a sudden I realize I DO actually like him and now he's gone. I don't get it.

    Am I over thinking everything? What do you guys think? I rarely create topics but I really need some guidance. Thanks guys!
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    Mar 22, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    You said he suddenly gets short with you and stops texting - is it possible that you're coming on too strong?

    Sorry man, I know you like the guy, but it sounds like he is back-pedaling. If he's suddenly growing distant, that often implies that he's lost interest, or decided he only wants to be friends.

    I'd ask the guy if he wants to meet up again. If he makes excuses, move on.
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    Mar 22, 2013 4:15 AM GMT
    I had a guy back off like that and stop texting/talking because I wouldn't sleep with him. We would just make out and shut, but I wanted to take things slow, being out of a relationship recently at the time and I just dont like to rush things. As soon that the whole lets go slow thing happened.... *poof*

    sucks to be a prude! lol
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    Mar 22, 2013 4:18 AM GMT
    Give it a few days of not texting him and see if he initiates anything. If he doesn't cut your losses and go have fun. If this site has proven anything, it's that there is ALWAYS someone hotter, cooler, and more jacked than the guy before.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Mar 22, 2013 5:26 AM GMT
    If only they invented a texting device that could make you have to respond to something RIGHT AWAY...like something that will put you on the spot with a yes or no...and ignoring it or waiting 3 days wouldnt happen. And just for fun, make it "VOICE ACTIVATED"

    The future is gonna be cool when they invent THAT device.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2013 5:50 AM GMT
    You're hot
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    Mar 22, 2013 6:52 AM GMT
    From my experience whenever a guy starts being shady and stops texting back its usually that their talking to someone else... It could totally not be that but that is usually what I have done/ people have done to me. On the bright side your a really good looking man so I doubt you'll have trouble finding someone else icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 22, 2013 10:39 AM GMT
    He lost interest or met someone else. Gay men are fickle nowadays. I mean, I tried calling and text a few times, if the guy seem to be too UN-cooperative, I just figure. Nah, there's better fish out there. Chances are he met someone else hotter or cuter than you or he made excuses to not be that into you. I've done shit like this to guys before and other dudes done it to me too.

    Move on Buddy.

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    Mar 22, 2013 10:52 AM GMT
    TomatoTomato saidGive it a few days of not texting him and see if he initiates anything. If he doesn't cut your losses and go have fun. If this site has proven anything, it's that there is ALWAYS someone hotter, cooler, and more jacked than the guy before.


    second this ^^^
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    Mar 22, 2013 11:15 AM GMT
    TomatoTomato saidGive it a few days of not texting him and see if he initiates anything. If he doesn't cut your losses and go have fun. If this site has proven anything, it's that there is ALWAYS someone hotter, cooler, and more jacked than the guy before.


    I also agree although I would wait a few days ... maybe a week and then if you haven't heard from him id text or call him (since you really like him)

    then if you dont hear back... move on w/e his lost and like the guys say if hes not the one than some one else is
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2013 12:48 PM GMT
    Playing hard to get will only backfire..

    He invited you to his apartment probably to do more than just kissing..
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    Mar 22, 2013 1:08 PM GMT
    ohboy saidYou're hot


    I agree with this guy, you are a good-looking guy it's his loss man if say just move on. Yeah sometimes it sucks because you had a connection but if the guy doesn't have much interest anymore what can you do?
  • Hammer89

    Posts: 237

    Mar 22, 2013 2:08 PM GMT
    Thanks guys, Im gonna wait til Monday to hear from him. If nothing ill just give him a call and see whats up. See what he says and go from there. I appreciate everyone's opinion(good and bad) and especially appreciate the straight forward ones. sometimes i need a good slap in the face. Hah!
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Mar 22, 2013 2:19 PM GMT
    ohboy saidYou're hot



    AGREED!

    ...I'd NEVER treat you like that . . .
  • ryanx91

    Posts: 5

    Mar 22, 2013 2:19 PM GMT
    Sometimes we don't know what are they thinking. I had experience on this, they just don't want to response and I guess the reason is that they are not interested. But he's the one who approached you first, still, there's no answer, probably after a few meeting, they find out not interested. what you could do is stop texting him and wait for his response, if he don't, move on!
  • Hammer89

    Posts: 237

    Mar 27, 2013 9:22 PM GMT
    So I eventually called him to confront him about what was going on, left a VM and after a minute or two he sends me a text saying he started going out with someone he had been talking to for over a year that he tgought would never come to anything. Was confused for a minute because it was tge same situation as I was in with him. I pushed away for a long time and then finally say okay and make myself open up and i get crushed.

    Shit is exhausting.
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Mar 27, 2013 9:46 PM GMT
    racerx76 saidSo I eventually called him to confront him about what was going on, left a VM and after a minute or two he sends me a text saying he started going out with someone he had been talking to for over a year that he tgought would never come to anything. Was confused for a minute because it was tge same situation as I was in with him. I pushed away for a long time and then finally say okay and make myself open up and i get crushed.

    Shit is exhausting.


    Hang in there man. Shit sucks.

    You tried and did everything you could. He should have just told you upfront the reason for him to be distant, instead of playing the "eventually he'll get tired of trying" game. We've all been there, at some point.
  • blueyedgrey20...

    Posts: 285

    Mar 27, 2013 9:51 PM GMT
    hey dont you worry your hot a sweet and seem like a great guy im sure your gunna find another. but that does suck i understand. but chin up :p
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    Mar 27, 2013 9:56 PM GMT
    racerx76 saidSo I eventually called him to confront him about what was going on, left a VM and after a minute or two he sends me a text saying he started going out with someone he had been talking to for over a year that he tgought would never come to anything. Was confused for a minute because it was tge same situation as I was in with him. I pushed away for a long time and then finally say okay and make myself open up and i get crushed.

    Shit is exhausting.


    Wow. That's heart-breaking. Well, at least now you know the truth and can move on now. Love hurts, but once you find that person who's worthy of it, it's all worth it.

    Voted you Man of the Day for taking the heart-break. Real men feels the pain and does not deny it. Despite the pain, they're still able to move forward and they never let the experience stop them from loving again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2013 10:13 PM GMT
    racerx76 saidGonna try and keep this as short and sweet of a story as possible.

    Started talking to this guy over a year ago. On and off over that year we'd text and see how eachother has been, etc etc. Eventually we decided to meet up and go on a date. This date happened about 2 months ago. As usual it had it's awkward moments but overall not bad.

    After about two weeks(since we were both very busy anyway) We wanted to meet up again. We got breakfast and after breakfast he asked if I wanted to see his new apartment he was re-doing. I agreed and went back and ended up hooking up with eachother. Didn't' have sex or anything, just kissed. Great kisser.

    Here come's the problem though. We continue texting normally nothing wrong and then all of a sudden he starts being short and then eventually stops texting me back.

    I eventually got some responses back with him stating he was very busy with mid-terms and what not. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, i always do. I give everyone 10 extra chances than they deserve always just incase something came up. Cuz ya never know. But now he's on vacation on spring break and I've only asked him how it was and no response.

    Before some of y'all jump on my shit, I realize part of me is probably being a "little bitch." But I can't help that I really like this guy. We've only "met" twice but we've been texting and talking for a long time and I don't understand why the sudden silence. Can't wrap my head around someone doing that to another.

    but the kicker is...HE came on to ME. I pushed away for a while and then all of a sudden I realize I DO actually like him and now he's gone. I don't get it.

    Am I over thinking everything? What do you guys think? I rarely create topics but I really need some guidance. Thanks guys!


    Try dropping the texting and using a telephone or in person communications. It conveys vastly more information, more quickly, and has a much better flow, and higher clarity.

    Call him up; talk with him; ask him where he'd like to take your relationship, if anywhere. LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE. The telegraph was retired years ago. Call him. Ask him. Know.

    If a person won't make time to talk to you, they are probably aren't the sort of person you want involved with. We ALL have time for a phone call.
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    Mar 27, 2013 10:15 PM GMT
    aidenMaximus said
    racerx76 saidSo I eventually called him to confront him about what was going on, left a VM and after a minute or two he sends me a text saying he started going out with someone he had been talking to for over a year that he tgought would never come to anything. Was confused for a minute because it was tge same situation as I was in with him. I pushed away for a long time and then finally say okay and make myself open up and i get crushed.

    Shit is exhausting.


    Wow. That's heart-breaking. Well, at least now you know the truth and can move on now. Love hurts, but once you find that person who's worthy of it, it's all worth it.

    Voted you Man of the Day for taking the heart-break. Real men feels the pain and does not deny it. Despite the pain, they're still able to move forward and they never let the experience stop them from loving again.


    You should have called him in the first place. Texting is for babies. Now, take the lesson, and move on.

    Honestly, do you really want involved with some cowardly jerk who doesn't have the decency to call you back and tell you what's going on? You're both cowards. Do you realize that's really pretty pathetic?

    Kids...get some social skills.
  • blueyedgrey20...

    Posts: 285

    Mar 27, 2013 10:18 PM GMT
    aidenMaximus said
    racerx76 saidSo I eventually called him to confront him about what was going on, left a VM and after a minute or two he sends me a text saying he started going out with someone he had been talking to for over a year that he tgought would never come to anything. Was confused for a minute because it was tge same situation as I was in with him. I pushed away for a long time and then finally say okay and make myself open up and i get crushed.

    Shit is exhausting.


    Wow. That's heart-breaking. Well, at least now you know the truth and can move on now. Love hurts, but once you find that person who's worthy of it, it's all worth it.

    Voted you Man of the Day for taking the heart-break. Real men feels the pain and does not deny it. Despite the pain, they're still able to move forward and they never let the experience stop them from loving again.
  • Hammer89

    Posts: 237

    Mar 27, 2013 11:28 PM GMT
    @ChuckyStud, I did call him, I have NO problem with making a phone call. Im not afraid of confronting someone in person or over the phone. Before i started to think something was wrong I texted him because i was just easier.

    And back all the way the fuck up. Dont come in here shoving your anti-text/anti-tech speech down my throat and tell me to "learn to communicate." Youre preachin to the choir, gramps. Im ALL about communicating. Dont you think youre a bit hypocritical telling me this through a computer screen? yah....fuck outta here.
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    Mar 27, 2013 11:32 PM GMT
    racerx76 saidSo I eventually called him to confront him about what was going on, left a VM and after a minute or two he sends me a text saying he started going out with someone he had been talking to for over a year that he tgought would never come to anything. Was confused for a minute because it was tge same situation as I was in with him. I pushed away for a long time and then finally say okay and make myself open up and i get crushed.

    Shit is exhausting.


    At least you figured out the truth and he was being honest. I am facing a similar problem. I have been texting a guy and he has been flaky. Sometimes he would say that he wants to see me and other times he would completely ignore my texts. The worst part is that he would never answer my calls.

    Like you said, shit is exhausting. I hope I could get a straight-up answer as well.

    Good luck with the next guy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2013 2:58 AM GMT
    Didn't even have to see the fact that he was seeing someone else apparently to know that he wasn't that into you.

    Happens time and time again. They're just afraid to "hurt your feelings" unknowing that by not saying anything, being short, etc is just making it worse on you. It's a tactic of the dicks and the stuck up. They think they're doing you a favor but in realty they aren't - they are doing themselves a favor by avoiding a "difficult situation". Pricks. I'll tell you right now that all the guys (I've dated 5 guys and 5/6 flaked) that have flaked out on me, THEY also initiated contact. These folks play the field. I'm sorry to say but you were the backup in this case it seems. I mean, you have to be a real callous type of person to pursue multiple people like it's a picking out a car and you give it a test run. People aren't cars.

    Learn from this and move on. Personally, I'm not much of a conversationalist on the phone (just ask my bf - who hates texting icon_lol.gif ) but it is important to actually talk and hear the others voice when you're pursuing someone. Next time, when you have doubts, you're probably right about them. When a guy likes you and is interested, you will know.

    gay221: I had a guy like that once. He's a fucking liar when he says he wants to see you. These ones are the worst since they are actively stringing you along. Ditch him.