Do you think coming "out" would be easier when you are younger or older?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 15, 2007 11:40 PM GMT
    Just wondering if age makes a differnce to when a person comes "out".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 16, 2007 1:44 AM GMT
    i would say that coming out either when ur younger or older has both advantages and disadvantages but, i think its harder to come out overall when ur older. when ur young, high skool can be tough and the possiblity of losing friends/family is hard too but u have the rest of ur life to figure it out and kinda start new or fresh. when ur older, u have all those years of surpressing ur feelings and not being who u truly r and if u have kids or a wife for that matter, man i couldnt even imagine wat that would be like, not to mention coming out to buddies that have known u for years and all of a sudden tell them ur gay. now thats hard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 16, 2007 8:36 AM GMT
    Not sure. I think the only thing that makes it easier for someone to come out of the closet would be resources. When I was a kid, I had nobody to turn to or look up to for a role model to say that the feelings I was having were ok, and as a result, I didn't come out until I was about 22.

    In my journey, it happened later, and for me, that was probably a good thing.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Mar 16, 2007 10:17 AM GMT
    Age doesn't matter. It's circumstances. Where an individual is in life, their family and friends, how secure they are, how much they have to lose etc.

    Today it's a lot easier for young people to come out than it was even 20 years ago. Society is a lot less ignorant and a lot more accepting. Which isn't to say that there aren't loads of young people who can't come out due to family prejudice and fear of rejection.

    Coming out isn't always the best option. But ultimately I think being true to yourself, and not living a lie is the best thing. I would've hated to reach the end of my life and to have not experienced the things I have - including the love of a good man and the friendship of many fabulous Gay and Lesbian friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 16, 2007 2:23 PM GMT
    "Coming out" would have been easier when I was younger, but-at that time-I was too worried about the social repercussions, work, etc. Now, age is a factor--right! Who wants you when you're 35? Of course, before 30, every guy is into you; after 30....today's guys want youth and perfect bodies; I want to live a longer, healthier life, manage stress, etc. If I had "come out" before I was 30, then my fear involved stereotypes; I didn't fit into them, nor did I want to. I don't deny my sexuality, but I don't broadcast it, either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 16, 2007 10:03 PM GMT
    Me personally, I think that if it wasnt for the past generation of gays prior to mine, I wouldnt have had such a great opportunity to come out. These days, 12 and even some 10 year old kids are now coming out! Each generation have paved the way....so thanx guys :^) We love you so much!!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 17, 2007 9:18 AM GMT
    Today, it seems better for a gay person to come out early. This gives you time to adjust to the change. And we all know what effect our parents have on us,so rember thats why we have therapists. If you come out later in life,than you've cheated only yourself.Being young and gay was very exciting, and the older guys treat you really nice(haha).
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Mar 19, 2007 11:09 AM GMT
    Thanks Jcarter

    It's nice to have some acknowledgement that the older generation of Gays and Lesbians have helped make it easier for younger people today.

    I sometimes feel that the work we/they did in the 70s and 80s is forgotten by the younger generation. The campaigning we did sometimes taken for granted by the young people who have the freedom we could only hope for.

    It's touching that a young person like yourself acknowledges this.

    Thanks, and of course, bear in mind, that the work isn't over yet.

    Loz
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 20, 2007 9:13 AM GMT
    JCCarter, I agree, I was at that time a few years later. The movement was started, and I just followed it. Thanks to the Gays & Lesbians of New York,Stonewall and Harvey Milk of San Fran
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 20, 2007 12:17 PM GMT
    I think the younger the better, but I agree with th other guys, that the circumstances around you play a very important role
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2007 2:24 PM GMT
    yeah i think it's definitely circumstantial. i haven't hidden the fact that im gay to anyone i know though with my family, we aren't close, in the fact that we don't discuss personal matters and i know that they know im gay.
    i wouldn't sit down and say im gay to my mum just yet, not because she'll kick me out but because she has a lot on her plate with my brother in a youth detention centre and dealing with health and work issues. she'd be accepting over time though when i do tell her, shit will hit the fan for a while and i don't want her to go through that until i know she can handle it without having everything else to deal with as well.

    i wished that i had the chance to say im gay to my dad and that i loved him before he died however, because i never did tell him, though the gay part might of broken him.

    and im 23yo and personally it's not a priority to come out to my family officially until i sort out my own personal demons that overshadow that issue.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2007 4:19 PM GMT
    It's easier to come out when young/er.

    No need to waste time/energy "managing" all the requisite lies told to people now and along the way. And, looking ahead, no need to un-tell them either.

    PM8
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2007 6:57 PM GMT
    I think, in general, coming out at a younger age would be easier.

    In my own case, however, I have no regrets about my 20 painful years in the closet and coming out later in life, because had I been self-accepting and sexually active back in the early 1980s, I'd likely have died of AIDS a long time ago.