So the ex is dating a women...

  • sportsguysd7

    Posts: 65

    Mar 23, 2013 6:39 PM GMT
    I recently found out that my ex of nearly 9 years is now dating a women. I'm not sure how to feel about this. He always resisted labeling himself gay or bi and he had dated women in the past, so it's not too shocking, though it still caught me off guard. We remain friends though we don't see each other since we don't live in the same state anymore.

    He's never really come out to his family or co-workers. He didn't really try to hide it, more just general avoidance. It was a point of contention in the relationship, as you might imagine. He always said he would get around to it when he felt comfortable, but it never happened. I wonder if this scenario (someday dating a women) was behind the resistance?

    But all that aside, my bigger issue is that I'm sure hasn't told the new girlfriend about his past. Further, he's still active on gay dating sites, etc. I'm not saying he's cheating on her, but he's clearly not 100% invested in the relationship.

    I know it's not my place to do anything about this. But it feels uncomfortable sitting back and watching it happen. Anyone have a similar experience?
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Mar 23, 2013 10:25 PM GMT
    Not your business anymore. Steer clear
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    Mar 23, 2013 10:27 PM GMT
    fable saidNot your business anymore. Steer clear

    /thread
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2013 10:32 PM GMT
    Gay people sometimes assume that bisexuals are gay people in denial but in my experience lots of bi men are more heterosexual than they are gay.

    sportsguysd7he's clearly not 100% invested in the relationship


    Sorry but this part is groundless speculation, unless you know something you didn't mention in the original post.
  • Slickdog21

    Posts: 164

    Mar 23, 2013 10:49 PM GMT
    I hear you loud and clear. One of my ex-boyfriends is now married to some girl I never met. Time to move on icon_smile.gif
  • Lucky350

    Posts: 167

    Mar 23, 2013 11:00 PM GMT
    Whoa!

    You turned him straight?...
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    Mar 23, 2013 11:14 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif
    A woman is ugly when a cannibal sees her and ask for vegetables instead.

    A gay man is horrible when his ex would rather date women !

    What went wrong?icon_confused.gif
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    Mar 23, 2013 11:18 PM GMT
    Trust your gut. It's none of your business.
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    Mar 23, 2013 11:21 PM GMT
    As others have said, it isn't truly your concern any more. He isn't "owned" by a sexual orientation group... which is where a lot of people fail in their logic. He is who he is, and he's bi, so there was always a chance that the next person would be female.

    Move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2013 11:25 PM GMT
    sportsguysd7 saidI recently found out that my ex of nearly 9 years is now dating a woman.


    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    What did you do?
    You broke him !! icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 23, 2013 11:26 PM GMT
    Move on!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2013 12:14 AM GMT
    None of your business. I thought it was a commonly agreed knowledge that, under any circumstances a gay person must not out another gay person. If your boyfriend needs counselling, and you are still somewhat acquainted to him, you can do that. But seriously, it is no one's - and by no one as in including you too - business to be exposing his personal affairs. You have no right to disclose information like that - you will only make things MUCH worse for them AND yourself.

    Like what other wise men have said on here, move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2013 12:23 AM GMT
    I can't say for certain, but I don't think most women appreciate an e-mail pic of their latest bf sucking on a cock. Maybe I'm hopelessly old-fashioned. icon_wink.gif
  • Whipmagic

    Posts: 1481

    Mar 24, 2013 12:32 AM GMT
    Amarula saidicon_eek.gif
    A woman is ugly when a cannibal sees her and ask for vegetables instead.

    A gay man is horrible when his ex would rather date women !

    What went wrong?icon_confused.gif


    Well, whenever a man ends a relationship with a woman and switches to our team, can you imagine what the woman gets to hear?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2013 4:38 AM GMT
    So the ex is dating a woman*.Fixed for the sake of humanity
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    I know I'm gay but I've dated girls during times when i felt unsure of myself or felt fed up with gay men or just being gay in general. It had never really worked, but it's not your business what your ex does anyway. Move on and stop being concerned about his personal matters that have nothing to do with you.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Mar 24, 2013 5:06 AM GMT
    fable saidNot your business anymore. Steer clear
    what he said. its not your problem anymore.
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    Mar 24, 2013 5:08 AM GMT
    fable saidNot your business anymore. Steer clear


    This.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Mar 24, 2013 1:03 PM GMT
    I hear what you're saying as a similar situation happened to me many years ago....

    The first guy I fell for had divorced his wife and we started seeing each other once a month (I lived in Atlanta at the time, he lived in Nashville). It only lasted six months as I got a call from him telling me he was getting back with her.

    Yeah, it was the first so I cried a lot and all that crap but moved on after a few months in mourning. I was 22 when this happened, so it was a VERY long time ago!!

    Just move on. There are lots of great men probably looking for you right now.
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    Mar 24, 2013 1:30 PM GMT
    "ex" period.
  • sportsguysd7

    Posts: 65

    Mar 24, 2013 5:35 PM GMT
    Thanks for the input. We've both moved on and I never intended to 'do anything' regarding the gf. It's just awkward since we are still friends, etc. If I said anything it would be to him directly, but I bite my tongue when the subject comes up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2013 6:20 PM GMT
    BUTT OUT....not your problem anymore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2013 7:56 PM GMT
    Meah.
    It happens.
    Your real problem is going to be 2 years from now, when he want's to hook up again, needing a FB.