Feels separate from group of friends

  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Mar 24, 2013 6:03 AM GMT
    Hey guys. I was just curious if anyone else felt really different or seperate when hanging out with their straight friends. I primarily have only straight friends. This is not by choice or anything just who I grew up with and met along the way. I have met gay guys, but tend to not have much in common besides being gay. I feel sometimes like the odd man out which can be quite lonely sometimes. What do you guys think? Do any of you feel like this and is there a way to help get past this?
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    Mar 24, 2013 6:16 AM GMT
    I never felt odd man out and my str8 friends are inclusive of me. I didn't really feel like socializing last time a group got together and they gave me a bit hell when I suggested I not show up so I did, but I do notice they definitely click better with each other, especially when they're lusting vagina.

    And it's not just my str8 guy friends. It's the lesbians too.
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Mar 24, 2013 6:17 AM GMT
    Yea it's definitely hard to stay in conversation when an attractive girl walks by. I do my best, but cant compete with a pair of tits.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 24, 2013 7:01 AM GMT
    Sad_Man_in_a_Box_by_Vathath.jpg
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    Mar 24, 2013 7:15 AM GMT
    BlueMoose saidYea it's definitely hard to stay in conversation when an attractive girl walks by. I do my best, but cant compete with a pair of tits.


    We've got one friend who nonstop talks about his dick. I actually timed it. he can't go 20 minutes without mentioning it. This time he was with a new girlfriend, nice person, I like her, so he was on his best behavior. He wasn't talking about his dick as much as usual, hardly mentioned pussy at all. So I filled in like clockwork. For our few days together, if 20 minutes went by without him getting all horny, I'd just say penis or pussy just to get things rolling. Didn't even have to be in a sentence. Just shout it out. At lunch, at the dinner table. It don't matter. And that became our little running joke for that visit.

    And then I got tired of all the hetero penis talk so I started kicking in with my gay penis. It threw them off at first but then we were penis this and penis that, it didn't seem to matter. Now one of my friend's wife likes to act a little prudish which adds to the fun.

    I definitely noticed that I fit in better with the str8 guys when there are females around. Str8 females. They're not into vagina either. There's definitely something to that. We're not in the brotherhood of the carpet munchers.
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    Mar 24, 2013 1:28 PM GMT
    All of my high school friends, whom I still hang out with, are straight and I have never felt separate from them. They know I'm gay and welcome it! I have gay friends also and hanging out with both groups of friends doesn't have any differences.
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    Mar 24, 2013 1:31 PM GMT
    Honestly, I have always felt like the odd man out. It doesn't bother me as much as it used to.

    I think as you grow more comfortable and secure with yourself, the more you can let those feelings go.

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    Mar 24, 2013 1:33 PM GMT
    I feel the odd one out for being single, but not for being gay
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    Mar 24, 2013 1:37 PM GMT
    I think there is a lack of openness between you and you hetero crew.

    ..My straight friends talk about my gay life more than they talk about their hetero world.

    ..Now if they love you and accept you unconditionally .. what's the problem? someone on either side needs to loosen up.!!

    ...One of my straight friends asked me about getting his ass ready for rimming by his wife???..inorite..??
    ...This is the kind of openness we have achieved over the years.

    ..Maybe your Straight "Friends" aren't really friends.. Or you are still uncomfortable with your sexuality!!

    Work it out Moose!
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    Mar 24, 2013 2:17 PM GMT
    I ONLY have straight friends but I don't feel separate from them.
    Then again I'm naturally introverted so there are times where I take a break from spending time with my friends so much and have some alone time.

    I'd say I feel more separated from the fact that almost all of them are married or getting married now. I'll be the that token friend who's always single and never understands their relationship problems haha.
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    Mar 24, 2013 2:37 PM GMT
    BlueMoose saidI primarily have only straight friends.
    I feel sometimes like the odd man out which can be quite lonely sometimes.

    I only have straight friends in real life!

    If we look closely we all are different from one another.

    What do you guys think?
    A. I think, if we are same as other, our life will be boring and dull. :-(

    Do any of you feel like this and is there a way to help get past this?
    A. Yes, accept the diversity instead of separating yourself for feeling as the odd one :-)
    Life is like a rainbow,
    add a bit of your color to it, then it looks more vivid and more vibrant. ;)
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    Mar 24, 2013 3:12 PM GMT
    BlueMoose saidI feel sometimes like the odd man out which can be quite lonely sometimes.

    I think this can happen with both str8 and gay friends. In the past I always felt like the odd man out with the people I associated with because I was closeted and knew there was a part of me that was very different, now being out, I don't have many str8 friends I hang with and even with the gay people I associate with, I still tend to feel alone. It's a tough feeling to deal with, I totally get it.
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Mar 24, 2013 4:23 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidI think there is a lack of openness between you and you hetero crew.

    ..My straight friends talk about my gay life more than they talk about their hetero world.

    ..Now if they love you and accept you unconditionally .. what's the problem? someone on either side needs to loosen up.!!

    ...One of my straight friends asked me about getting his ass ready for rimming by his wife???..inorite..??
    ...This is the kind of openness we have achieved over the years.

    ..Maybe your Straight "Friends" aren't really friends.. Or you are still uncomfortable with your sexuality!!

    Work it out Moose!


    I am very open with my str8 friends and they are very accepting just still feel like the man out once in a while.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Mar 24, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    So you feel out of place with your straight friends
    ...
    and your gay friends...

    Maybe this isn't a straight/gay issue, maybe you just haven't found a group of friends you click with. Maybe you have some social awkwardness or anxiety that you need to deal with (not a dig; it's not an uncommon problem -- socialization is complex and some people just haven't developed the skills for it).


    To sort of answer you question: who do you feel or with whom have you felt not different/separate from? What's different about those people from the other friends you just listed?
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    Mar 24, 2013 5:59 PM GMT
    The word is acquaintance.

    Friends are supposed to have your back.
    You didn't specify if it's your issue about feeling like an outsider or that your friends treat you different now. Maybe it's time to find new friends.
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Mar 24, 2013 6:07 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidI think there is a lack of openness between you and you hetero crew.

    ..My straight friends talk about my gay life more than they talk about their hetero world.


    This is me and my str8 friends. I'm waaaay closer to my umpteen breeder pals than I am to the handful of gay friends I have. Granted, I was a late out and thus have known my straight friends way longer, but I have a tougher time getting gay dudes to open up and be "real" in the way that my straight buddies and I are. icon_cry.gif
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    Mar 24, 2013 6:21 PM GMT
    Only feel that way when the Pabst is rolled out and the cheep ass surround is cranked up to the NASCAR motors on the old school monster TV till it vibrates the trailer walls--then the Hank Jr ques up on my I-pod and it's all good.
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    Mar 24, 2013 6:40 PM GMT
    BlueMoose said
    I am very open with my str8 friends and they are very accepting just still feel like the man out once in a while.


    ..You just need a little time Moose..or A dirty hot fling !! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 24, 2013 6:44 PM GMT
    bus9ja2dI feel the odd one out for being single, but not for being gay


    This. None of my friends have any issues with me being gay and are very welcoming. At times, it feels awkward being single amongst all the married couples.


    OP - In my experience, the hardest time for connecting with straight friends is during their prime dating years. That's when you're more likely to feel different/disconnected. Is it possible to do things with them outside of bars related to common interests? For example, my friends and I play video games together a lot. Or if you like sports, maybe watch a game at one of their houses. Less competition with tits at someone's house icon_smile.gif

    If you have one or two people that you are closer to, it may help to pull them aside and tell them about how you are feeling. I'm sure they are unaware that you feel lonely and may try to find ways to make you feel more included.

    My other recommendation would be to keep trying to expand your circle of friends. You may find gay guys that you have something more in common with, or straight guys that are more accessible. They are out there. The more people you meet, the more likely you will find people you click with.
  • timberino

    Posts: 18

    Mar 24, 2013 6:46 PM GMT
    bus9ja2d saidI feel the odd one out for being single, but not for being gay


    amen. haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 24, 2013 6:48 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidOnly feel that way when the Pabst is rolled out and the cheep ass surround is cranked up to the NASCAR motors on the old school monster TV till it vibrates the trailer walls--then the Hank Jr ques up on my I-pod and it's all good.


    So, only once a week then? Don't forget, Tuesday night is $1 PBR draught night. (or, er, oh yeah, it's PBR, so it's DRAFT).
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Mar 24, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    Hey guys thanks for the responses. Its not that they treat me different of anything. When I wasn't out I wouldn't talk about girls or anything like that so not much different. It just hard to be quiet about everything give I know they dont really care if I find this guy attractive or what not. They also kind of joke a lot about it sometimes, but thats not rly a big deal. Lightens the mood i guess.