I really don't think I like gay bars.

  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Mar 25, 2013 3:18 AM GMT
    I've only been to two so far now, and I know that there are WAY more than that in the Twin Cities, but I've had negative experiences in both. In both of them, I was touched / grabbed wantonly on several occasions (no less than three). One guy randomly grabbed my ass when I was ordering from the bartender and winked at me. I suppose in a cosmic sort of way that might be a compliment, but just because we're both gay is not an invitation for you to fondle me. Unfortunately, one of the bars was what my friend considered to be one of the "quieter, more tasteful" gay bars in the TC.

    When I go to a bar, I want to have fun with my friends. I don't want to feel like I'm some sort of sexual toy. I don't think it's stuck up or prudish to expect people to respect your personal space.

    Do most gay bars have regulars like this, or have I just had bad luck?

    Note that I did chew out the guy who grabbed my ass, but he just rolled his eyes at me and ignored me. Jackass...
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    Mar 25, 2013 3:35 AM GMT
    You may be too delicate for gay bars. Give a nice church or the library a try.
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    Mar 25, 2013 3:37 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidYou may be too delicate for gay bars. Give a nice church or the library a try.


    So if you don't like being groped and fondled against your will by total strangers, that makes you a prude? Really? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • sportsguysd7

    Posts: 65

    Mar 25, 2013 3:40 AM GMT
    I'd say you've had bad luck...
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    Mar 25, 2013 3:40 AM GMT
    Yes, most gay bars have regulars of old deillisuonal men who think they can ook and ekk and every attractive man that walks by. Think of Art or Roadragerob as the type who would do this.

    It's best to ignore them. If they inist, simply tell them if they do it again they will get their ass kicked out. I have seen it many times before.

    But don't let it ruin your night. Just learn to roll with it most of the time....
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Mar 25, 2013 3:42 AM GMT
    It's a double-edged sword, it can be annoying being groped but sometimes it can be fun, especially if the guy is hot!

    Depends how sexually fustrated I am feeling haha
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    Mar 25, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidSo if you don't like being groped and fondled against your will by total strangers, that makes you a prude? Really? icon_rolleyes.gif


    I reread what I wrote and don't see anything about the OP being a prude. I simply suggested places where groping and fondling aren't likely to happen. If you're an attractive guy, you're going to get groped at a gay bar.
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    Mar 25, 2013 3:49 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    Scruffypup saidSo if you don't like being groped and fondled against your will by total strangers, that makes you a prude? Really? icon_rolleyes.gif


    I reread what I wrote and don't see anything about the OP being a prude. I simply suggested places where groping and fondling aren't likely to happen. If you're an attractive guy, you're going to get groped at a gay bar.



    I understand that, but your "church" comment seemed to be placing the blame on him. This is why I don't go to gay bars (well, one of many reasons.) Everybody feels it's their fucking right to put their hands on you, even though they haven't spoken a word to you. I've gotten into fights over this shit in the past, so I just stay away from these shit-holes. Not to mention, there's only so many times I can stomach an Autotuned Cher remix.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 25, 2013 4:28 AM GMT
    If you go to a gay bar or club, don't go in with a prudish mentality. Just enjoy the attention.
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    Mar 25, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidYou may be too delicate for gay bars. Give a nice church or the library a try.


    Pfft.. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Lucky350

    Posts: 167

    Mar 25, 2013 4:44 AM GMT
    You could be funny...

    Roll up a newspaper and start smacking them!!! =P
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    Mar 25, 2013 4:50 AM GMT
    Anocxu said
    unfounded7 saidYou may be too delicate for gay bars. Give a nice church or the library a try.


    Pfft.. icon_rolleyes.gif


    You have a hair ball, or something? icon_confused.gif
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    Mar 25, 2013 8:23 AM GMT
    Rhi_Bran said

    When I go to a bar, I want to have fun with my friends. I don't want to feel like I'm some sort of sexual toy. I don't think it's stuck up or prudish to expect people to respect your personal space.



    If the purpose is to hang out, drink and have fun with your friends, then go to a bar at a restaurant that has a lounge. You and your friends don't need to hang out at a gay bar. At a restaurant bar, the chances of your personal space being respected (or should I say some guy not grabbing your ass) is much better.
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Mar 25, 2013 11:49 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    Scruffypup saidSo if you don't like being groped and fondled against your will by total strangers, that makes you a prude? Really? icon_rolleyes.gif


    I reread what I wrote and don't see anything about the OP being a prude. I simply suggested places where groping and fondling aren't likely to happen. If you're an attractive guy, you're going to get groped at a gay bar.


    I hope you can see the parallel between your statements and a statement like "if you're an attractive girl, you're going to get raped if you walk around in a city alone".
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    Mar 25, 2013 12:06 PM GMT
    LOL Yer not a sexuel toy.

    Why are you here?


    grow a Dick.

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    Mar 25, 2013 12:19 PM GMT
    I like to think that the party you experience, is equal to the party you bring with you to any and all occasions. You're in the same boat I was in a month ago when I left RJ.

    You seem to have expectations. Drop them, and expect nothing but the unexpected.
    Usually the only misery people experience, is the misery they bring with them. Clear your mind, get away for a week, find a new place to hang out; but don't expect to find anything there you don't have inside you already. "What you bring, is what you got!"
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    Mar 25, 2013 12:25 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    unfounded7 saidYou may be too delicate for gay bars. Give a nice church or the library a try.


    So if you don't like being groped and fondled against your will by total strangers, that makes you a prude? Really? icon_rolleyes.gif


    yeah I kind of agree with this actually. i don't know if anyone is right or wrong, just a personal preference. I'd prefer at least a "hello" before my crotch gets felt up. I don't think that's ridiculous but some people do. in that case I have no problem forcibly removing the offending gropey body part from my vicinity.

    the rules always change if you're into the other person but that's just the risk you're taking when you sexually harass someone in a public place. they might not like it, and then it's your fault
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 25, 2013 12:28 PM GMT
    There are bars where "grabbing" doesn't happen. I don't frequent gay bars, but there are exceptions. I actually enjoy a bar & grill in Wichita called "Rain", more of a "metro" kind of bar and has a diverse clientele.

    If you enjoy social interaction with friends and the group wants to go to a specific gay bar, make your decision based on experience. For those you personally don't like, don't go there, do something else with your friends when the opportunity comes up.... or suggest an establishment that you like better. There are some good ones up there, with patrons that may actually be respectful.
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    Mar 25, 2013 12:36 PM GMT
    Rhi_Bran said...Note that I did chew out the guy who grabbed my ass, but he just rolled his eyes at me and ignored me. Jackass...


    If you wore your burqa to the gay bar these things wouldn't happen.

    2008-02-13burqas1.png
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    Mar 25, 2013 12:37 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    Rhi_Bran said...Note that I did chew out the guy who grabbed my ass, but he just rolled his eyes at me and ignored me. Jackass...


    If you wore your burqa to the gay bar these things wouldn't happen.

    2008-02-13burqas1.png

    Lol! Hidden, in plain sight! icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 25, 2013 12:42 PM GMT
    upstart_brophet said
    theantijock said
    Rhi_Bran said...Note that I did chew out the guy who grabbed my ass, but he just rolled his eyes at me and ignored me. Jackass...


    If you wore your burqa to the gay bar these things wouldn't happen.

    2008-02-13burqas1.png

    Lol! Hidden, in plain sight! icon_razz.gif


    burqa.jpg

    PS. nice to see you posting again. was wondering about you just the other day.
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    Mar 25, 2013 12:56 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    upstart_brophet said
    theantijock said
    Rhi_Bran said...Note that I did chew out the guy who grabbed my ass, but he just rolled his eyes at me and ignored me. Jackass...


    If you wore your burqa to the gay bar these things wouldn't happen.

    2008-02-13burqas1.png

    Lol! Hidden, in plain sight! icon_razz.gif


    burqa.jpg

    PS. nice to see you posting again. was wondering about you just the other day.

    You pitched me a tent! icon_razz.gificon_razz.gificon_razz.gif
    A much needed break. Had to purge myself of macro-tic thought process that was eating away at me. Longest voluntary one to date. 31 days!
    I'll bring marshmallows!
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  • RaggedyMan

    Posts: 7185

    Mar 25, 2013 1:04 PM GMT
    Lucky350 saidYou could be funny...

    Roll up a newspaper and start smacking them!!! =P

    Hehe I like this idea
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 25, 2013 1:09 PM GMT
    Being groped is bad, not being groped is worse
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    Mar 25, 2013 1:22 PM GMT
    Rhi_Bran said
    Do most gay bars have regulars like this, or have I just had bad luck?

    I'd be curious what Twin Cities gay bars these were, and when. I know most of them.

    Gay bars have their own personalities, and their own group psychologies. And even more confusing, they can have multiple personalities, depending on the time of the day and day of the week you go. A bar or club that is sleepy on a weekday, and a hangout for old farts like me, becomes a roaring fuck palace on a weekend night.

    Take for example the Minneapolis (Mpls) Eagle on Washington, and its companions the Bolt and the Underground. I used to go there around 3 or 4 PM mid-week, and the bartender was hosting a televised trivia contest for the 15 or so patrons. Win a round and you got a drink on the house. I always got a drink.

    I also often got a score, an easy place to cruise. My beard attracted guys for some reason, who would come up and stroke it. I don't like being touched, but hey, I'm not made of crystal, my main concerns being how to keep him interested if he's a hunk, or get rid of him if he's a skag.

    Be there that weekend, though, and it was leather dress code or jeans (not strictly enforced). The place was packed to where you could barely move, and you might see guys getting blowjobs out in the back outdoor patio. I watched guys getting fucked on the pool table inside (but that was during Pride). Downstairs in the Underground I attended bondage and waxing shows.

    Now go to the Brass Rail on Hennepin and they had drag shows and bingo games, for a much older crowd. The Townhouse in St. Paul is a tiny little place, you can drive right past it, and a mecca for drag. I can't imagine anyone groping you there. Is the 19 still open? Just a quiet little neighborhood gay bar. I don't think anyone there knows the meaning of groping, a place that's too snoozy even for me.

    And then there's the Saloon, on Hennepin. It used to have its own trick hotel right above it (the Amsterdam), where you actually put a deposit on the sheets they issued you at the desk when you walked upstairs and checked in. (A monetary deposit - you would likely be depositing something else on the sheets later) And believe me I did, sometimes for 3 and 4-ways, then check back out and return to the bar below. icon_redface.gif

    The hotel's gone now, and the Saloon has tried to clean-up its act. There was also a back area that could be walled off with movable partitions, becoming "The Tank". It was too raw even for me. icon_eek.gif

    Last time I was there the raciest thing they had was a raised plexiglass shower stall in the dance area, where a Speedo boy would dance wet for your enjoyment. It's a custom that the guys who can will dance shirtless.

    That a long-enough list, but I've been to other TC bars. So a gay bar is what you make of it, and what you choose. Nowadays I choose mine to have a lounge-like, clubby atmosphere. And even if there I get fondled (not lately), you handle it with calm class. And maybe with some biting, queeny put-down wit that will make him wish he never touched you, gurl. icon_wink.gif