Wow, sorry to hear about all you've lost. I'm certain it would have helped to live a lie and play mind games with your straight spouse. I have a question: why do you think the key to happiness is being bi and residing in a straight relationship for the comfort?
My view is: you could be young and hot now, do that, and still manage to be miserable. What's wrong with coming to terms with your homosexuality and living the "life" you want instead of one that looks good on paper? Because that is exactly what it is, a fantasy.
In this "bi"/straight relationship, does your wife know....does it even matter if she knows? You said in your original post that these "bi" men have their gay sex and "no one knows". Do you know what that makes them? How does that appeal to young people today?!! It makes me ill: it's a testimony to the level of moral decay today that someone would get married for the express purpose of conceiling their homosexual urges. I'm not a woman, but I can empathize. I would seriously fuck my husband up if I found out, not only was he a cheater, but a serial cheater....with other men and what's more is, he has me around because I am an attractive beard and I was dumb enough to marry him eventhough he takes longer to get ready for the party than I do and he obsesses over belly fat too often and not mine, his own!
Forgive me for sounding too conservative, but marriage is a sacred union (or atleast it should be); I'd hate to make straight people sound like saints, but we aren't discussing them. What your "bi" married men are doing is setting the perfect foundation for an argument that gays corrupt marriege on its face. Infact, I'm gay and when I read that hypocritical original post, I am filled with a hardy bit of self righteous indignation myself. The very thought that you think happiness can be derived from that; it is times like these and reading things like this that makes me want to cross to the other side of the street and pretend not to know you (gay/bi men) either.
Ofcourse, I can't do that. I'm gay and as lost as you are, you are part of my community. Bisexuals are too and they can be just as happy living an out life as you think they are pretending. Atleast out, they aren't cheating on their spouse, they aren't living a double life, they aren't wishing half the time they didn't have to pretend. Bottom line, they aren't happy. They aren't bi either: they make it with men. I don't get this bi thing: you like both....so what? That gives you license to enter into marriage only to expect to get your cake and eat it to? Personally, I find bi married men despicable; yes, they are happy, but at everyone elses expense; to end my argument: I can understand there are billions of possibilities and circumstances. I know that had one or two elements been diferent, I too might be a married bisexual.
I highly doubt it though, I could never marry someone I didn't love, and I could never deceive and fuck around (I don't care who knows or not) on someone I loved. That's just me and being with a partner who feels the same is my fantasy of a happy union, whether it be gay or straight.
Ok, bye, it displeases me to talk about this. I have held back a lot of rancor and I hope I got something through about morals and integrity besides only managing to write a discreet rant about how much I hate married "bi"s, ofcourse something tells me they could appreciate such a rant.