Gay Marriage / The Young Guys Who Will Be Your Widower and Want You for Your Social Security / Will Social Security Senior Years Be Different w/ Homosexuals Than with Heterosexuals?

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    Mar 27, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    Question: I was married to my first husband for 20 years. He died a long time ago. After quite a while living aone, I finally met another man. We lived together as husband and wife for 15 years. But then I learned he was married all that time to another woman. After I found out, he divorced this other woman and then married me. However, he died just four months after our marriage. Am I due any of his Social Security?

    Answer: No, Social Security requires nine months of marriage. You may bark up the common-law marriage state. There’s also a good faith clause angle worth researching--but you have more good faith potential on your end than on the bigamist.

    Question: My husband and I were married for 20 years. He maxed out OUR credit cards, buying all kinds of things I didn’t think we needed. Then he ran off with another woman taking the camper and the boat. He left me with the effing bills. I was HOUNDED by some pretty aggressive bill collectors, and I finally paid off all his debt. He has NO PLANS TO PAY ME BACK--that Rooster Sucker, Chicken Choker. So, I want to know this: Can I attach his Social Security in order to get back the money that he owes me?

    Answer: No, unfortunately, dear--taxes and child support only.

    Question: After 40 years of MARRIAGE, my husband left me for a much younger and prettier woman. We’re still married, and I don’t plan to give him a divorce because I want to get back at him by collecting his Social Security. He’s 62 but says he doesn’t plan to file for Social Security. He’s 62 but says he doesn’t plan to file until 70! He would never let me work outside the home, so I don’t have my own Social Security. I am also 62. How do I get spousal benefits?

    Answer: Dump him. The law assumes he’s supporting you. If you get a divorce, then you will be eligible for benefits right away. And if he can’t “carry” the baby robbed from her cradle and has a heart-attack in their playpen, you will be eligible for much higher divorced widow’s benefits on his account.


    # # #

    Just as there has been GLBT divorce, Social Security disputes comes with marriage also.

    In NYC, it was not uncommon for men to date you to have a roof over their head in Manhattan--to keep them from becoming bridge and tunnel.

    Some of the younger men who once called men over 50 creeps will shut up for the stream of Social Security income of being a widower. And men who are over 50 will not get social security widower benefits due to their spouses dying of old age. Since young guys aren't usually expected to keep financially older guys, what's the financial gain of dating a younger guy?

    Today's newspaper said in another article that many senior citizens would like to work since they have less than $10,000 in retirement savings.

    Unless things change, I do not see younger men saving once financially middle class men from senior citizen change of fortune.
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    Mar 27, 2013 1:25 PM GMT
    While these type of men may think nothing of doing these things to a woman, they're going to run into problems when they do it to male spouses.
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    Mar 27, 2013 3:03 PM GMT
    What? It's about equality, same rules apply. Guys who don't save now, won't save later. Guys who leech off others now, will leech off others later.

    I'm not sure what your point is or if I really care.
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Mar 27, 2013 3:29 PM GMT
    if gay gold diggers exist (and they do) they've got a much tougher time landing the paydirt than the girl gold diggers that have managed to do so well. I don't hear of that happening much here in Canada, and it's been possible for a while now.

    Then again I'm not really in the loop of gay social circles so go figure about that >.>

    also most of the time they'd do better being escourts
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    Mar 28, 2013 3:33 AM GMT
    eb925guy saidWhat? It's about equality, same rules apply. Guys who don't save now, won't save later. Guys who leech off others now, will leech off others later.

    I'm not sure what your point is or if I really care.


    I care about the risks and what has happened to other people. You probably care about risks or just what has happened to other people. If you don't care about the real life stories, then, okay.

    If a person cares about marriage then these ladies stories do serve as a learning experience.

    Obviously, gay men are somewhat new to the marriage and Social Security issues. There isn't even marriage in all states, so this is new territory, not only for those who have not been married long enough to cross this bridge.
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    Mar 28, 2013 3:52 AM GMT
    StephenOABC said
    Obviously, gay men are somewhat new to the marriage and Social Security issues. There isn't even marriage in all states, so this is new territory, not only for those who have not been married long enough to cross this bridge.

    I'm not sure what your point is. Let's not legalize gay marriage, because older gay guys might get conned by younger men seeking their Social Security survivor benefits?

    We'll just be in the same boat as straight men, regarding their risk of marrying gold digging female wives. And I really don't believe the few cases of mercenary gay marriage that might occur justifies denying the far greater number of gay couples who want their survivor to be left with some provision for their welfare.

    Poorer guys will seek relationships with wealthier guys, for entirely monetary reasons. I see that all the time here, and I wonder how the richer (and usually older) guy can be so gullible. But that's the way of things, regardless of orientation, and I don't think that should be an issue regarding the desirability of gay marriage, and repeal of DOMA to allow survivor benefits, if that's your meaning.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 28, 2013 4:00 AM GMT
    Why is anyone even paying this guy any mind. He posted yesterday that he does not like the idea of gay marriage. Now he offers this waffer thin argument against it.

    Put down the crack pipe man.
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    Mar 28, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    Can you tell us where you got married to a man 20 years ago?

    "I was married to my first husband for 20 years."

    EDIT: oh good grief, perhaps quotation marks around your copy and paste would be a little clearer. icon_wink.gif
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Mar 28, 2013 5:43 AM GMT
    This makes no sense, were you born female?
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    Mar 28, 2013 8:43 PM GMT
    StephenOABC:

    Obviously, gay men are somewhat new to the marriage and Social Security issues. There isn't even marriage in all states, so this is new territory, not only for those who have not been married long enough to cross this bridge.

    ART_DECO:

    I'm not sure what your point is. Let's not legalize gay marriage, because older gay guys might get conned by younger men seeking their Social Security survivor benefits?

    StephenOABC:

    This is not a for or an against gay marriage thread. This is a gay marriage thread about what some spouses have to face. It is good to know potential pitfalls.

    ART_DECO:

    We'll just be in the same boat as straight men, regarding their risk of marrying gold digging female wives.

    StephenOABC:

    That is a mischaracterization. Making a claim for Social Security benefits isn't gold digging. However, as a related issue, there are those who may do some gold digging as men have dated men to share Manhattan apartments or rent-controlled apartments. Manhattan is just one example where that happens.

    ART_DECO:

    And I really don't believe the few cases of mercenary gay marriage that might occur justifies denying the far greater number of gay couples who want their survivor to be left with some provision for their welfare.

    StephenOABC:

    I agree--I was not making a case against gay marriage in this thread. In addition to seeing gay divorce, we also have to be aware of disputes over Social Security benefits. The columnist for these Q&As said he gets letters like the above all the time of women who have similar problems.

    People who haven't had to think about marriage do not have to think about these problems. Now that there are civil unions and gay marriage in some countries, as we think about committed relationships, lets think on retirement finances.

    Remember, the Methodist churches and the Baptists churches and the Catholic churches that have couples counseling are NOT counseling prospective gay couples on extending the love of the 20s and 30s into the decades of the 60s, 70s and beyond. I'm not holding my breath for the TV show The New Normal to address this issue.

    There is plenty of open relationships in the gay community--moreso than in the heterosexual standard. There is also more dropping lovers for hotter lovers in the gay community than in the heterosexual community. We cannot run behind a man calling foul with a baby in our arms the way a woman can slap a man's face for thinking with the wrong head.
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    Mar 28, 2013 8:47 PM GMT
    meninlove said Can you tell us where you got married to a man 20 years ago?

    "I was married to my first husband for 20 years."

    EDIT: oh good grief, perhaps quotation marks around your copy and paste would be a little clearer. icon_wink.gif


    Men in Love,

    The questions and answers come from a newspaper. Women are providing the questions. A columnist is providing the answers. These issues are likely to arise in our community as well.
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    Mar 28, 2013 9:04 PM GMT
    tldr.jpg
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    Mar 29, 2013 12:31 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    EDIT: oh good grief, perhaps quotation marks around your copy and paste would be a little clearer. icon_wink.gif



    Good point. Instead of quotes, I put the newspaper section in italics a moment ago. (It was a lot of retyping at the library. When I got home, I just cut and paste what I had retyped in the library.