The Golden Rule, Upgraded

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2013 11:18 PM GMT
    You're all familiar with the Golden Rule, right? "He who has the gold rules."

    No, silly, not that one. I'm talking about the one that goes, "Do unto others as you would have done unto you."

    It's supposed to mean that you should treat people with the same respect with which you want to be treated. But, to me, it seems a little misguided, a little self-centered. In a way, what you are really saying is, "Everyone should want what I want."

    I think it's time to upgrade the Golden Rule to Platinum. My suggestion: "Treat others the way they would like to be treated."

    The Platinum Rule. Who's with me?

    UPDATE: In response to your objections, here's an edit: "Treat others the way they would like to be treated, so long as it's reasonable." icon_wink.gif Let's get this thing right, since the whole world will be following it.

    UPDATE 2: In response to your many, continuing, strenuous objections: "Treat others the way they would like to be treated, so long as the way they would like to be treated seems reasonable to you, regardless of the way you would like to be treated. And BTW, how would you like to be treated? R E S P E C T, what does it mean to thee?"
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    Mar 27, 2013 11:29 PM GMT
    I'm not with you. Some people think they should be worshipped by everybody.
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    Mar 28, 2013 12:09 AM GMT
    Duly noted. See update.

    @yourname2000, you are welcome to all my money, so long as you accept all my debts.
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    Mar 28, 2013 12:18 AM GMT
    I would like to hear the Silver and Bronze rules before I decide icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2013 12:37 AM GMT
    Silver: "Treat others depending on how you feel at the moment."

    Bronze: "Others? What others?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    As long as it's reasonable?

    That's too subjective! You might as well return to the original rule.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    Sounds more like degraded icon_rolleyes.gif
    No offense!
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Mar 28, 2013 5:28 AM GMT
    I dont think a lot of hot boys would like the golden rule when they are around most gay guys.
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    Mar 28, 2013 1:40 PM GMT
    Not sure I understand you, Apparition, but this may be what you had in mind. Here are a few things for all of you to think about:

    If you're a top, the Golden Rule seems to suggest you let other guys top you. Is that OK with you?
    Should you help an old lady across the street if she doesn't want help and fiercely values her independence?
    If you like to be humiliated and beaten, should you do that to everyone you meet?

    I'm sure you can think of a thousand other examples.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2013 1:43 PM GMT
    r e s p e c t find out what it means to me
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    Mar 28, 2013 1:49 PM GMT
    shortbutsweet said

    UPDATE: In response to your objections, here's an edit: "Treat others the way they would like to be treated, so long as it's reasonable." icon_wink.gif Let's get this thing right, since the whole world will be following it.




    Some guys think it's perfectly reasonable to be paraded through the streets on a leash with a leather horses tail inserted in their butt hole......

    I ain't got time fo' dat!
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    Mar 28, 2013 2:22 PM GMT
    Before reinventing the wheel, see if you can roll with it and not just roll one.

    *http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Rule
    The Golden Rule or ethic of reciprocity is a maxim,[1] ethical code or morality[2] that essentially states either of the following:

    (Positive form of Golden Rule): One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself.[1]

    (Negative form of Golden Rule): One should not treat others in ways that one would not like to be treated.

    +
    **http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silver_Rule
    "Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you"...similar in meaning to the Hippocratic Oath, known best for the declaration "do no harm".
    =
    Your proposed platinum bases seem already covered because it is just joking to say the rule means that if you want to be treated badly, it is therefore okay to treat others badly as gold "involves a person empathizing with others*" and silver demands "we do no harm**" which speaks to your reasonableness aspect.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2013 2:37 PM GMT
    I like "Do unto others before they do unto you" icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2013 2:50 PM GMT
    bri_66 saidI like "Do unto others before they do unto you" icon_wink.gif


    That's called the sticky rule where you cum before bothering to finish the other guy off.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Mar 28, 2013 2:54 PM GMT
    How did Michael Phelps get into the measurement business?
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Mar 28, 2013 3:32 PM GMT
    shortbutsweet saidDuly noted. See update.

    @yourname2000, you are welcome to all my money, so long as you accept all my debts.


    I would love to make the same deal too! Student loans FTW!
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    Mar 29, 2013 3:37 AM GMT
    Gentlemen, your contributions have been taken into consideration. See above. icon_wink.gif

    @theantijock: I don't see how the Golden Rule fosters empathy (being sensitive to another's feelings). Quite the opposite, it requires you to be self-absorbed, thinking only about what you would want in any given situation.

    @Shawnathan: That is indeed a golden rule. But only four inches?
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    Mar 29, 2013 4:06 AM GMT
    shortbutsweet said@theantijock: I don't see how the Golden Rule fosters empathy (being sensitive to another's feelings). Quite the opposite, it requires you to be self-absorbed, thinking only about what you would want in any given situation.


    It arises out of empathizing because to treat others how you yourself would want to be treated means how you yourself would want to be treated if you were the other person in that situation.

    By the Golden Rule then, we act in accordance to how we project ourselves as if we were the other; so, no, it is not about being self-absorbed but about being selfless in considering the welfare of others.
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    Mar 29, 2013 4:37 AM GMT
    Still not convinced, and here's why. Most of us are not capable of true empathy -- experiencing another person's feelings as if they were our own. You can relate to another's situation, because you've been through a similar situation yourself. But does that necessarily mean you know what they would want? Or are you just assuming you know what they want?

    The linguist Deborah Tannen gives a good example in her excellent book about understanding other people's communication styles, "You Just Don't Understand." A woman comes home from work and is in tears over a problem with her boss. Hers husband tells her what to do to solve the problem. The woman is even more distraught, because she didn't want a solution -- she only wanted comfort. The husband assumed that because he would want a solution, she would too.

    Do you see what I'm getting at?
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    Mar 29, 2013 5:08 AM GMT
    shortbutsweet said... Most of us are not capable of true empathy...


    Here, read these

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Empathy

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_neuron
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    Mar 29, 2013 6:39 AM GMT
    I read the articles, but I don't see how they address the example I gave. The husband in that situation was observing the Golden Rule, treating his wife as he would like to be treated by giving her advice. He should have treated her the way she wanted to be treated by giving her a shoulder to cry on, a perfectly reasonable expectation. Likewise, if he came home angry about a problem with his boss, it would not be helpful for her to make sympathetic noises -- that's what she wants but not what he wants.

    Only Scorpios seem to know what I want in bed without having to ask.
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    Mar 29, 2013 12:03 PM GMT
    ^^^ I haven't read that book but it sounds like from the example you gave, that the Golden Rule is based on people reacting to non-verbal communication queues. What's wrong with just flat out saying "Thanks for the advice but what I really need is a shoulder to cry on"?
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    Mar 29, 2013 12:11 PM GMT
    theantijock said
    That's called the sticky rule where you cum before bothering to finish the other guy off.

    That's so mean. icon_mad.gif
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    Mar 29, 2013 1:53 PM GMT
    shortbutsweet saidI read the articles, but I don't see how they address the example I gave. The husband in that situation was observing the Golden Rule, treating his wife as he would like to be treated by giving her advice. He should have treated her the way she wanted to be treated by giving her a shoulder to cry on, a perfectly reasonable expectation. Likewise, if he came home angry about a problem with his boss, it would not be helpful for her to make sympathetic noises -- that's what she wants but not what he wants.


    By showing the trait hardwired--and not just in humans but in other animals too--the articles shred your misinformed declaration that "Most of us are not capable of true empathy", upon which you based your premise.

    How a person acts on those signals is not necessarily a matter of empathy (discounting, possibly, for personality disorders--which might not even take place at the level of reception but in processing information received) but more likely of communication skills which do not always reflect very well a person's intent, such as in the example you provided.

    That it appeared to the wife and apparently to you that the husband failed to relay his sympathy by providing a solution instead of just an ear is not unlike the wife failing to recognize her husbands good intent simply because he didn't act the way she wanted him to act at that moment. That has nothing to do with the Golden Rule, that's just being a bitch.

    I'm only half kidding. That someone can find something wrong in anything you do doesn't always reflect the other person. That could be self reflective or simply trouble in the relationship at that moment. To be crass but to drive it home, he could have been licking her pussy and she'd have complained.

    What you are doing is conflating a fallacy--that, as I said in my first post on this, the rule has nothing to do with purposely treating someone badly, that's just a joke--into a maxim which has held out on its own pretty well for a few thousand years.

    My suspicion is that it will survive your inquiries too. But good luck with that.
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    Mar 29, 2013 2:02 PM GMT
    Bharatiya said
    theantijock said
    That's called the sticky rule where you cum before bothering to finish the other guy off.

    That's so mean. icon_mad.gif


    But it's nap time, or simply indicative that the couple needs to learn to connect better so that they more often orgasm simultaneously--which I had with my bi bud; we were very much tuned to each other--or it was simply that the captain put on the seat belt sign too soon and we had to get back to our seats.