Help me feel better.

  • Geelong_Guy

    Posts: 5

    Mar 29, 2013 12:38 PM GMT
    Hi guys,

    I'm writing this blog to vent my anger because someone suggested it would be good for me. So here goes...

    I'm 21 and I live about an hour away from Melbourne.

    I'm pretty sure I have bipolar disorder, I have big mood swings.
    I feel soooo frustrated and angry at myself and the people around me.

    I still live at home, and I resent my mum and stepdad soooo much: they are always fucking off on holidays twice a year, while I haven't holidayed in 10 years. They would be happy to take me, but only if I can fork out my own airfares and shit like that.

    I work as an Auslan Interpreter, and even though i get paid $72 an hour, I'm only working 4 hours a week. I would take more jobs if they popped up on the booking system, and it's annoying having to go to Melbourne all the time.

    Every single dollar I earn goes to paying off my car or paying for this jazz band I'm in.

    I feel fucking frustrated, angry, and stagnant.

    I am currently dating a guy, but he works ridiculously long hours so I very rarely get to see him.

    The only reprieve I get is when I'm at Concert Band, where I'm an Oboist in the Youth Band and 2nd Flautist in Senior Band.


    Is my life always gonna be this fucking miserable? I NEED HELP PLEASE!
  • Geelong_Guy

    Posts: 5

    Mar 29, 2013 12:51 PM GMT
    Also, everyone just hates me.

    I alienate people, and say horrible things -- and the thing is I never mean it.
    I apparently play mind games and fish for compliments, without even knowing it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2013 2:26 PM GMT
    The best thing is to focus on the good things in your life.

    Thinking positive is really the only solution.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Mar 29, 2013 4:40 PM GMT
    Seek therapy...Serious.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 29, 2013 7:33 PM GMT
    Yeah, anything any of us can say, even when well intended, is going to be very limited. It's good to vent but it does sound like you need support in the form of counseling and that can't happen in a forum. It takes time and pretty much has to be done in the flesh. You've got yourself in a 'box' of sorts and you need to find ways that will eventually get you out of it and into a life that is more rewarding (and free of your parents). None of us can say how to do that. Everyone will have their own opinion about what you 'ought' to do.
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    Mar 29, 2013 7:37 PM GMT
    Welcome to your 20s.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Mar 29, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    Are you in university? Living at home or a school?
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    Mar 29, 2013 7:54 PM GMT
    You recognize you have issues. Bipolar Disorder is treatable so get counselling to see if you are actually suffering from that. It might explain to some degree why you are in your current situation.

    The other issue that is clear from you posts above and from your profile is that you are having a hard time getting along with people. You should follow up on that with a counsellor too. I grew up with someone who has a pronounced personality disorder that has caused her no end of grief when it comes to interpersonal relationships (family, work, friends or lack thereof). She has absolutely no self-insight that she has a problem and expresses honest confusion as to why all employers and co-workers eventually "gang up" against her.

    The fact that you recognize a problem exists with your life ATM is an excellent first step. Take control of your life now and look for unbiased help from a professional, if only to help you understand why things are the way they are. Don't assume you can simply figure it all out on your own.

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    Mar 29, 2013 8:40 PM GMT
    yes, there should be medical services available to help
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2013 9:07 PM GMT
    You are able to state the things that make you unhappy, like why people dislike you. All I can say is that you now have to do something about it and try your best to overcome. If you don't want to change then that's fine and is your choice as well.
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    Mar 29, 2013 9:48 PM GMT
    timshel saidWelcome to your 20s.


    Yup, sounds about right! Hahaa

    Just in joy the little things. I work 2 jobs, go to university full time, and still run short on cash...if it wasn't for my cc at times I'd have been so fucked. Sometimes you gotta give stuff up, even if you love it, in order to have peace of mind and to stop stressing. That shit just makes you angry and short tempered without even realizing it, influencing your out look on life and how you treat others. Chill out, smoke up, and move on.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Mar 29, 2013 9:56 PM GMT
    your problems bore me. repost again when you have something of value to moan about.
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    Mar 29, 2013 11:28 PM GMT
    If you think you are bipolar, see a shrink to find out. There are drugs that you can take that moderate mood swings and keep you from going over the edge, as can happen to bipolar people in their 20's, who are not on medication.
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    Mar 30, 2013 12:10 AM GMT
    You are not living up to your full potential..

    You need to indulge in more meaningful things.. and you might have too much time on your hands...

    ..Get a second job..get back in school, ..more hobbies..and figure out a way to adjust that attitude...

    Why would your Mum and Dad take you anywhere if you described yourself as a bitter obnoxious pain in the bum??

    ..I hope you find what you need..
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    Mar 30, 2013 2:03 AM GMT
    calibro saidyour problems bore me. repost again when you have something of value to moan about.

    Is it hug time again CB?icon_sad.gif
  • Geelong_Guy

    Posts: 5

    Mar 31, 2013 2:16 AM GMT
    And now the guy I was seeing just dumped me icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif
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    Mar 31, 2013 11:17 AM GMT
    Without Malice.

    During the time you say you were seeing this guy, you're also going to a S&M supply store and using a Vac-cube?

    You were spending money on Latex Products which you proudly showed
    in the Adult Chat room here.

    You also mentioned your mother is a Psych nurse.

    If 50% of the things you say here - or the fact you seem to be the life of the party in the Chatroom most of the time are true.. then I guess you probably do have some disorder.. or are a forgetful liar.

    Either way, its either really bad luck, or good planning that you flirt with personal disaster that attracts sympathy from those around you to make you feel better.

    I fell for the bait, I tried to help you out, offered you freindship and support for a long time and you preferred to ignore what I had to say when it didnt suit you - then block me, only later to beg for my help.

    You stated in the Chatroom that I hate you so much (actually you stated we hate each other so much) - I dont hate you - I'm just tired of the games you're playing..

    Tonight you state your bf (who you didn't know long) dumped you - and on the Chat room, you're proudly showing off your hookup for the evening..

    I think you're trying to find things to make you happy, I dont think you know what you're looking for, and I think you'll need to start liking yourself more before you will..

    Watts - you do need help, and unfortunately no-one here can provide the kind you need.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2013 11:30 AM GMT
    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    What the hell is going on??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2013 11:33 AM GMT
    Anocxu said^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    What the hell is going on??


    Sorry.. just calling him out on some of the bits he neglected to mention in the original post..
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Mar 31, 2013 11:34 AM GMT
    You need meds.

    A lot of meds.

    Very strong meds.
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    Mar 31, 2013 11:55 AM GMT
    Clearly, other posters know more about you from your chat room discussions, but here is my two penneth' worth:

    If you suspect a disorder, see a psychiatrist and be honest about what is troubling you.

    When the problem has been identified, accept help, believe that you deserve help, and see how best to manage your condition.

    Exercise is often the best medicine, but there are occupational therapists who can help you learn to manage in other ways. I know that bipolar disorder can make relations difficult, so if that is indeed the problem you might want to develop a strategy.

    Do not sit on your freshly diagnosed butt without doing something to change, and look at everything with a view to improvement, not just medication.


  • Geelong_Guy

    Posts: 5

    Apr 01, 2013 3:43 AM GMT
    sc69 saidWithout Malice.

    During the time you say you were seeing this guy, you're also going to a S&M supply store and using a Vac-cube?

    You were spending money on Latex Products which you proudly showed
    in the Adult Chat room here.

    You also mentioned your mother is a Psych nurse.

    If 50% of the things you say here - or the fact you seem to be the life of the party in the Chatroom most of the time are true.. then I guess you probably do have some disorder.. or are a forgetful liar.

    Either way, its either really bad luck, or good planning that you flirt with personal disaster that attracts sympathy from those around you to make you feel better.

    I fell for the bait, I tried to help you out, offered you freindship and support for a long time and you preferred to ignore what I had to say when it didnt suit you - then block me, only later to beg for my help.

    You stated in the Chatroom that I hate you so much (actually you stated we hate each other so much) - I dont hate you - I'm just tired of the games you're playing..

    Tonight you state your bf (who you didn't know long) dumped you - and on the Chat room, you're proudly showing off your hookup for the evening..

    I think you're trying to find things to make you happy, I dont think you know what you're looking for, and I think you'll need to start liking yourself more before you will..

    Watts - you do need help, and unfortunately no-one here can provide the kind you need.



    I swear these "games" aren't intentional, I just don't think.

    I did take your advice about my gym workout and nutrition, and it is working, so thank you for that.

    I swear I am going to stop fishing for compliments.

    I'm sorry. And I will leave you alone until you're ready to talk again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    mybud saidSeek therapy...Serious.
    yes - it will help bud
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    Apr 01, 2013 3:48 AM GMT
    blueyedItalian said
    mybud saidSeek therapy...Serious.
    yes - it will help bud

    This, cause no-one can do for you what is up to do.
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    Apr 01, 2013 3:39 PM GMT
    calibro saidyour problems bore me. repost again when you have something of value to moan about.

    This, and there is about as likelihood as such a thing a bipolar being real as there is as bisexual being an actual thing. Neither ever happens, just a silly thing in first world countries.