Advice for venturing out after college.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2013 5:51 PM GMT
    So I'm done in 4 weeks and it's looking very apparent I'm moving away (DC, LA, San Fran). One would think you'd be excited and couldn't wait to start your life. Sadly this isn't true for me right now. I've made a nice life here in Houston (family is an hour away) and I've made some pretty amazing friends. It would be easy to stay here but the jobs I'm wanting are not here and to be honest I hate the horrid summers. My fears are moving to an entirely new city and not knowing a soul. I'm an introvert and have a hard time making new friends not to mention my family has always been right down the road.

    I guess I'm just wanting to know if other guys have faced this deliemma and how did you overcome this nervousness I'm facing right now. I should be happy and excited but I just can't seem to get past the emotion of being alone wherever I end up.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 29, 2013 6:09 PM GMT
    I just posted in another thread that this transition from 'childhood' to 'being an adult' is both terrifying and liberating. A wise man once said to me (when I was closer to your age) that "fear" is really "excitement" turned upside down. You seem to be speaking of 'sadness' more than 'fear'. For sure, leaving the life of a student, leaving the friends you've made and leaving your family can be both sad and scary. The flip side of that is it can also be very interesting and exciting -- a whole new adventure (called YOUR LIFE) awaits you!

    I, too, am fairly introverted and shy. When I moved to the SF Bay Area from the far more conservative Midwest (oh so long ago) I didn't know anyone here. It was very weird at first, total culture shock. BUT the amazing thing was, and the reason I've remained here for as long as I have, it was the first place I ever felt *at home* on the planet.

    At first it was like I was totally invisible. Being the kind of slightly 'weird' person I am, I blended right in. I had no idea there were so many *weird* people, far weirder than me! That in itself was liberating as hell.

    After being here a few weeks and just sort of sitting in restaurants (I was living in the YMCA at first, not something I'd recommend, LOL) and observing people, I began to find ways to connect. For example, I got a job as an attendant for quadriplegics (mostly students) and I volunteered to work at the Berkley Free Clinic. What you'll do, of course, will be very different but the point is, doing this put me in situations where I began interacting with people. Soon I had friends and a social life.

    When I first moved here I had in my mind that I'd only stay here a few years. That changed within three years though and I've been here ever since. No regrets.

    Good luck and congratulations on finishing school. You're just at the beginning of your life and it will be awesome! ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2013 6:23 PM GMT
    I felt the same way you did when I moved to Orlando for my internship. I didn't know a single person but then all of a sudden while at work, I met a guy and he and I became very good friends. After that, it became much easier to get to know other people. When my internship was done, I didn't want to leave since I made so many friends and Orlando felt like home.

    I would start connecting with the people you work with and go from there. Good luck to you!
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    Mar 29, 2013 10:45 PM GMT
    its a rite of passage, that will make you very strong, and you will look back at it one day......

    SF has a fabulous standard of living....... your other 2 choices come with considerably more challenge.
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Mar 29, 2013 10:49 PM GMT
    It would be easy to stay here but the jobs I'm wanting are not here and to be honest I hate the horrid summers.

    So come up here to MN and freeze to death in the Winter... and sometimes in Spring!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2013 10:54 PM GMT
    msuNtx saidSo I'm done in 4 weeks and it's looking very apparent I'm moving away (DC, LA, San Fran). One would think you'd be excited and couldn't wait to start your life. Sadly this isn't true for me right now. I've made a nice life here in Houston (family is an hour away) and I've made some pretty amazing friends. It would be easy to stay here but the jobs I'm wanting are not here and to be honest I hate the horrid summers. My fears are moving to an entirely new city and not knowing a soul. I'm an introvert and have a hard time making new friends not to mention my family has always been right down the road.

    I guess I'm just wanting to know if other guys have faced this deliemma and how did you overcome this nervousness I'm facing right now. I should be happy and excited but I just can't seem to get past the emotion of being alone wherever I end up.


    I'm on the same boat as you, as much as I want to live in a different city to experience what else is out there, those things always stop me from doing it. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2013 11:00 PM GMT
    Suck it up suzie, put on your big boy pants.

    tumblr_ldr9mvibDs1qadby2o1_500.gif

    (you'll always meet new people if you make the effort).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2013 11:25 PM GMT
    With the exception of our difference in location, I'm feeling the exact same things right now that you are. I'm kinda jealous you have the options you do! Living and working in the US is fairly difficult for any Canadian like me to do. I don't know a whole lot about DC, but I've been to SF and LA a number of times. SF and LA both have very different vibes, and I'd recommend one over the other depending on what sort of lifestyle you're after.

    Hang in there man, we'll figure this out icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2013 11:36 PM GMT
    It's suppose to be scary, dude. You don't ride a roller coaster because it feels safe. You don't go out on a date because it's comfortable. Part of growing as a person means separating yourself from your comfort zone and learning from that experience. Trust me, I know how you feel about family, but they're never more than a phone call away (especially if your mom is like mine.) I still call my mom to this day when I'm feeling scared and don't know how to express it.

    Let go and embrace those scary emotions, they're not going to go away. Not until, that is, you've gotten out there and had these experiences of your own.