This sounds bad but how do you stick to just one guy?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2013 9:58 PM GMT
    I'm just having trouble sticking with one guy. I have a fuckbuddy who wants to get serious, which I'm willing to do. He's one of those cute charmers who can get your clothes off with a single look, lots in common, and really is like a best friend, annnd he's 2 hours away...But I just can't seem to let go of wanting to play with other guys...How do I stop this? And yes, he knows I play on the side (safely on the side).

    Sincerely
    manwhore
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    Mar 29, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    Been there done. I dumped them before they want more serious
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    Mar 29, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    OMG has society completely forgotten we have choice and free will?

    Have we gotten to a point where we have forgotten that we get to choose how to behave?

    You choose. You keep choosing. every day you choose to be with just that one person. When things get hard you choose to stay. When things are easy you choose to stay. When you want someone else you choose to deny it. When you want to stick your cock in someone else or let them stick it in you, ya choose not too.

    End of story.

    Do you want him or not. Choose.
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    Mar 29, 2013 10:22 PM GMT
    So choose to say no to an awesome guy just so I can sleep around more? Just torn.
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    Mar 29, 2013 10:32 PM GMT
    TonyC646 saidSo choose to say no to an awesome guy just so I can sleep around more? Just torn.

    If that's what you want.

    I never said it's easy and in my experience it isn't.

    I had a relationship with a guy for ten years and I was tempted many times by some spectacularly attractive guys but I remained monogamous. I sure as shit walked the line a few times but never crossed it and I'm glad I didn't.

    But I find with most people the real question isn't if I want to have a relationship or screw around. It's do I want to have a relationship with this person or not.

    A lot of people just want a relationship and jump in head first and never stop to ask if I want a relationship with this actual person or do I just want a relationship.

    The answer to both of those questions lead to very different places.
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    Mar 29, 2013 10:36 PM GMT
    and just to be super clear.

    There were some I regretted for a short time saying no too and others I seriously struggled to say no too and one where I almost stepped over that line.

    But looking back on them they were all as stupid as anything. I was caught up in the emotional excitement of the moment and wasn't able to properly look at what I actually had. It wasn't until after the fact and sometimes a while after that I'd think about it and realise I'd made the right choice.
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Mar 29, 2013 10:40 PM GMT
    OP, I wish I were as lucky as you. If I get into a relationship I want my significant other to act more as a best friend than anything else, since standard romance irritates the hell out of me. I want someone I can pal around with, joke with, mock, be mocked by, and just hang out with - not someone who's just going to send me cute texts and pop cheesy romantic one-liners five times a day. If someone I was interested in still acted as a best friend even though they want to go steady, that's the kind of opportunity I'd be all over.

    But that's just me.
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    Mar 29, 2013 10:40 PM GMT
    sometimes, a close buddy like that is tricky to date... if it does not work you will most likely lose a friend as well.....

    friends, even friends with benefits are RARE..... keep em around.
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    Mar 30, 2013 12:33 AM GMT
    why do you feel the need to do so? who gives a crap about what other people think; just do what you want to do. if the guy you're going after right now already knows that you want to play on the side, does he care? is it an issue for him? or is it an issue for you?
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    Mar 30, 2013 12:38 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidOMG has society completely forgotten we have choice and free will?

    Have we gotten to a point where we have forgotten that we get to choose how to behave?

    You choose. You keep choosing. every day you choose to be with just that one person. When things get hard you choose to stay. When things are easy you choose to stay. When you want someone else you choose to deny it. When you want to stick your cock in someone else or let them stick it in you, ya choose not too.

    End of story.

    Do you want him or not. Choose.

    Did you chose to be gay? Not everything is a choice. Many behaviors are biologically driven, and our control over them is limited.

    @OP - Know yourself. If you're not the type of person who can be in a monogamous relationship, then don't be. Don't mislead others. Don't pretend to be a monogamist while you sneak around with other guys.
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    Mar 30, 2013 1:08 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    Did you chose to be gay? Not everything is a choice. Many behaviors are biologically driven, and our control over them is limited.

    @OP - Know yourself. If you're not the type of person who can be in a monogamous relationship, then don't be. Don't mislead others. Don't pretend to be a monogamist while you sneak around with other guys.

    Then you go fuck everything that moves.

    Being gay isn't a choice. That doesn't mean I have to be with men but that's not going to make me happy and would be more damaging.

    FYI I've no idea what idea you walked away with from my post but I wasn't telling him to make the choice to be in a monogamous relationship. I was telling him to make the choice of if he wants to be in one in the first place and what he'd need to do to be in it.

    If he doesn't want a relationship sweet, I'll stand behind that. I'll also stand behind his decision of being in a relationship. It can be a monogamous relationship, an open one or what ever his little heart desires.
  • Lucky350

    Posts: 167

    Mar 30, 2013 1:12 AM GMT
    Fall in love... =)
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    Mar 30, 2013 2:59 AM GMT
    Dear Manwhore/OP,

    You are 23, you should sleep and fuck as many dudes as possible. Lol, don't settle. God, When I was 23, I was a major *hoe around L.A. area ! I didn't settled until when I was 27, had a good 3 years run and now I'm single again. 2 hrs drive for a fuck buddy? lol I wouldn't do it!!! Find a hotter cuter fuck bud closer to you.
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    Mar 30, 2013 3:06 AM GMT
    Lucky350 saidFall in love... =)

    ... and duck tape!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2013 3:12 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidOMG has society completely forgotten we have choice and free will?

    Have we gotten to a point where we have forgotten that we get to choose how to behave?

    You choose. You keep choosing. every day you choose to be with just that one person. When things get hard you choose to stay. When things are easy you choose to stay. When you want someone else you choose to deny it. When you want to stick your cock in someone else or let them stick it in you, ya choose not too.

    End of story.

    Do you want him or not. Choose.
    I'm the last person to be giving advice, but well said! +1,000
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Mar 30, 2013 3:19 AM GMT
    A lot of super glue....
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    Mar 30, 2013 3:22 AM GMT
    Simple..I love my man.Ryan
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    Mar 30, 2013 3:28 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidOnce a Manwhore, always a Manwhore.
    Not too many Tigers change their stripes. I've seen it done, but rarely does it stick.

    He just needs to Channing all over Tatum, he'll realize how good Georging his Clooney is too.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Mar 30, 2013 3:35 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidOMG has society completely forgotten we have choice and free will?

    Have we gotten to a point where we have forgotten that we get to choose how to behave?

    You choose. You keep choosing. every day you choose to be with just that one person. When things get hard you choose to stay. When things are easy you choose to stay. When you want someone else you choose to deny it. When you want to stick your cock in someone else or let them stick it in you, ya choose not too.

    End of story.

    Do you want him or not. Choose.


    lol CHOOOOOOOOSE!!!!!!!!!
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    Mar 30, 2013 3:40 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidOnce a Manwhore, always a Manwhore.
    Not too many Tigers change their stripes. I've seen it done, but rarely does it stick.


    Personal experience, maybe? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    Sigh...Fine. Hahahaa, shit. He better move in with me then! Gonna need lots of play to quell the needs. Hahahaa
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2013 5:06 AM GMT
    TonyC646 saidI'm just having trouble sticking with one guy. I have a fuckbuddy who wants to get serious, which I'm willing to do. He's one of those cute charmers who can get your clothes off with a single look, lots in common, and really is like a best friend, annnd he's 2 hours away...But I just can't seem to let go of wanting to play with other guys...How do I stop this? And yes, he knows I play on the side (safely on the side).

    Sincerely
    manwhore


    Your fuck buddy wants to get serious. Cool. What does serious look like to him? What are his expectations? What are yours? What are his plans for life? How close will he be long term? Are you OK taking things day-by-day with each other? Do you prefer to have a bit of a plan when it comes to your long term relationships? Does he expect you to stop fucking others? Do you want to stop fucking others? If you say you can't stop fucking others, but you like him still, is he going to stop sleeping with you all together? Is he going to cut you off? Are you OK knowing that is a possibility and can still be honest with him? What if you were honest and he loved the idea of fucking other guys too, and then you both slept with a few guys each week, but pounded the living daylights out of each other regularly and shared your erotic stories?

    There are a million questions and possibilities. Chat with him icon_smile.gif Then the space between the two of you will start to make some more sense. If he can't handle your candor, he isn't ready for all you have to offer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2013 5:20 AM GMT
    How does one "like" a comment? Hahaa
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2013 7:31 AM GMT
    TonyC646 saidHow does one "like" a comment? Hahaa

    I've noticed that you don't have many posts here, so you might be new. The appropriate way to like a post is to blow the guy who wrote it. icon_wink.gif

    Just kidding!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2013 7:35 AM GMT
    be polyamorous instead.