A question for the common man

  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Mar 30, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    So I've noticed guys don't last past the honeymoon phase. Why is that? I am the type to stay in love with someone and take everyday as if we just met. But every guy I've been in a relationship with looses that after the whole newness of the relationship is over. Now I probably shouldn't post this on the internet, but all my relationships end by around the two month mark. Mainly because Ican feel their disinterest the lack of texts, the lack of anything romantic, they get bored with me I suppose and when I try to keep it together by inisiating all the romantic things for the sake of having romance, it wheans on me because I gradually get tired of being the only one to inisate. I actually like the manly lovey dovey crap, is that so wrong? Sorry for the long post but my question is, are there any other guys like me who can keep the relationship fresh constantly, or is this world full of men who loose interest after they've had their fun.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Mar 30, 2013 8:36 PM GMT
    i can, 2 months is the dump point though if it was a mistake, you tried but were wrong limit. 2 years is the next milestone
  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Mar 31, 2013 2:10 AM GMT
    I see....
    Okay then why all the prior months of dating if you could not figure it out?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 31, 2013 2:12 AM GMT
    Maybe the relationship goes too fast at the start?
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 31, 2013 3:18 AM GMT
    Did you gay date as a teenager?

    One of my theories is that because most gay teens don't date other gay teens the way straight teens do, we don't get to work through those issues until about 10 years later. Most "going steady" straight teens don't get much past a couple months.

    It also seems that most guys (in general) aren't particularly romantic. This has been a female complaint forever.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2013 3:19 AM GMT
    Totally agree with you JoesphC I have always had the same problem with guys as well.

    photo 541313_357313754374744_1290282428_n_zps337f6172.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2013 4:03 AM GMT


    ...and if you continue to meet people like you are, you'll one day meet someone where this doesn't happen.

    Long term relationships don't happen until they do. icon_wink.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    i agree with the delayed entry into the dating phase of life theory... most men are typically emotionally shallow and immature, and gay men are worse..

    often self absorbed and selfish, gay men just are not available.... as people.

    i know flame me. but the sooner you can learn this, the sooner your life can adjust and grow..
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Mar 31, 2013 4:53 AM GMT
    JosephC saidI see....
    Okay then why all the prior months of dating if you could not figure it out?



    the first two months is the stress test..you stick it out til they are not on their best behaviour any more. You see what they look like when they run out of date underwear, how bad their farts smell, their room isnt clean anymore, they cant priortize you over housework anymore, etc.

    at 2 years you can tell if their longterm goals are compatible, how bad they are with money, if their family is nice to you, whether they can go on vacation with you and be fun, whether they share housework when you move in. The domestic stuff you dont get to see just on dates that take a couple years to come out. You have to see them sick a couple times whether they give nice xmas presents, remember your anniversary etc.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Mar 31, 2013 5:10 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]JosephC said[/cite]So I've noticed guys don't last past the honeymoon phase. Why is that? I am the type to stay in love with someone and take everyday as if we just met. But every guy I've been in a relationship with looses that after the whole newness of the relationship is over. Now I probably shouldn't post this on the internet, but all my relationships end by around the two month mark. Mainly because Ican feel their disinterest the lack of texts, the lack of anything romantic, they get bored with me I suppose and when I try to keep it together by inisiating all the romantic things for the sake of having romance, it wheans on me because I gradually get tired of being the only one to inisate. I actually like the manly lovey dovey crap, is that so wrong? Sorry for the long post but my question is, are there any other guys like me who can keep the relationship fresh constantly, or is this world full of men who loose interest after they've had their fun. [/quote

    Be romantic because that is who you are, and not because you want to either keep the relationship fresh or please your partner!I had my shared of guys like you, but they did not stop me from being the hopeless romantic person that I am!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2013 5:14 AM GMT
    A lot of guys have been in relationships that have lasted more than 2 months so I'd say that guys DO last past the honeymoon phase. Where do you meet guys to date? If you're meeting on hookup sites then they're probably looking for sex and after 2 months they've move to the next guy. Time for you to find a new fishing hole. If it's dating sites, then try verbalizing the expectations more up front and make it clear that you don't do sex until after the 5th date. Make them get to know you before they get to use you. Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2013 5:35 AM GMT
    I'm still pretty ole school. My understanding about relationships is that yes, the newness will wear off, but when that happens, the light comes on to remind me that relationships take work and the work must be done by both involved. If not, the relationship is doomed. But for to work, both parties should be ready and willing to work. That ground work should be begin during the dating phase. And how does it last? You have to TALK & COMMUNICATE with each other. Remember, whomever we choose must be both physically and EMOTIONALLY available. If not, well, I think you get the picture. And it takes time to understand who you are as an individual and what you want from another. Don't be so quick to jump or being is such a hurry to couple up. Take your time. That is what dating is about. Well, it use to be anyway.
  • JosephC

    Posts: 92

    Mar 31, 2013 2:12 PM GMT
    ErikTaurean saidI'm still pretty ole school. My understanding about relationships is that yes, the newness will wear off, but when that happens, the light comes on to remind me that relationships take work and the work must be done by both involved. If not, the relationship is doomed. But for to work, both parties should be ready and willing to work. That ground work should be begin during the dating phase. And how does it last? You have to TALK & COMMUNICATE with each other. Remember, whomever we choose must be both physically and EMOTIONALLY available. If not, well, I think you get the picture. And it takes time to understand who you are as an individual and what you want from another. Don't be so quick to jump or being is such a hurry to couple up. Take your time. That is what dating is about. Well, it use to be anyway.


    EXACTLY!! Problem is I've yet to find someone who compensates the other half.
  • jimjock

    Posts: 278

    Mar 31, 2013 2:19 PM GMT
    Timbales saidMaybe the relationship goes too fast at the start?


    +1

    I once heard that a candle that burns twice as hot burns down twice as fast.
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Mar 31, 2013 7:31 PM GMT
    Well as you're posting this then it means that there is at least one guy interested in having a proper relationship with romance and there are many other guys like that but there are also the slaggy slutty emotionally vacant etc type of guy which we seem to be abundant with these days.

    In fact a lot of the sweeter guys seem to be guys I don't find attractive physically so it can be hard to find the person where the looks and the personality match but it is possible icon_smile.gif
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Apr 01, 2013 2:45 PM GMT
    Apparition saidi can, 2 months is the dump point though if it was a mistake, you tried but were wrong limit. 2 years is the next milestone


    I honestly could never imagine u even being in a relationship with anyone. It would be like the weirdest fucking thing ever.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Apr 01, 2013 5:51 PM GMT
    Import said
    Apparition saidi can, 2 months is the dump point though if it was a mistake, you tried but were wrong limit. 2 years is the next milestone


    I honestly could never imagine u even being in a relationship with anyone. It would be like the weirdest fucking thing ever.


    I'm really easy to be in a relationship with actually Other than a couple hookups lately, and 2 exes that have FWB now, even though they broke up with me 20 years ago (both my v-card holders), Ive only been with 2 boys since 1998. one 2 years and the other 12 years.

    Outside of appearance. I'm awesome! I'm attentive, monogamous (I even tell hookups to wait if I am seeing another one even for one day because it might work out), honest, I bring them breakfast in bed, I like to shower together, I cuddle at night, I like sex anytime they want it, I always ensure they cum, and I am romantic and hold hands in public. I keep no secrets and like to let them know what i like and hate and explore what went wrong in my and their previous relationships. I also am so pragmatic that the relationship is fairly smooth mostly...I wont fight over little things, and try to change what I can to help. Also every 6 months you get a 3 hour bitch session where you get to openly complain about every little thing you hate about me in the relationship with no reprocussions, in an effort to improve.


    What is YOUR relationship style like? Have you had one more than 2 months?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2013 5:53 PM GMT
    The Common Man?

    Am I qualified to answer this question?
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Apr 01, 2013 6:28 PM GMT
    Apparition said
    Import said
    Apparition saidi can, 2 months is the dump point though if it was a mistake, you tried but were wrong limit. 2 years is the next milestone


    I honestly could never imagine u even being in a relationship with anyone. It would be like the weirdest fucking thing ever.


    I'm really easy to be in a relationship with actually Other than a couple hookups lately, and 2 exes that have FWB now, even though they broke up with me 20 years ago (both my v-card holders), Ive only been with 2 boys since 1998. one 2 years and the other 12 years.

    Outside of appearance. I'm awesome! I'm attentive, monogamous (I even tell hookups to wait if I am seeing another one even for one day because it might work out), honest, I bring them breakfast in bed, I like to shower together, I cuddle at night, I like sex anytime they want it, I always ensure they cum, and I am romantic and hold hands in public. I keep no secrets and like to let them know what i like and hate and explore what went wrong in my and their previous relationships. I also am so pragmatic that the relationship is fairly smooth mostly...I wont fight over little things, and try to change what I can to help. Also every 6 months you get a 3 hour bitch session where you get to openly complain about every little thing you hate about me in the relationship with no reprocussions, in an effort to improve.


    What is YOUR relationship style like? Have you had one more than 2 months?


    I've had ones longer than 2 years, so yes. And the one I'm currently with is hopefully the last one I will ever have. I love him and he knows it.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Apr 01, 2013 6:55 PM GMT
    Import said
    Apparition said
    Import said
    Apparition saidi


    What is YOUR relationship style like? Have you had one more than 2 months?

    Import said
    I've had ones longer than 2 years, so yes. And the one I'm currently with is hopefully the last one I will ever have. I love him and he knows it.

    ? ? A few days ago:
    Import said "somewhat recently, another man has enetered the picture and I find myself quite enamored by this individual. He flirts very obviously with me, but he's also so fuckin cute....and handsome. I just am finding it hard to resist. . . . So, now I find myself wanting to explore this."

    didn't sound like "the last one I will ever have" . .
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Apr 01, 2013 7:57 PM GMT
    Suetonius said
    Import said
    Apparition said
    Import said
    Apparition saidi


    What is YOUR relationship style like? Have you had one more than 2 months?

    Import said
    I've had ones longer than 2 years, so yes. And the one I'm currently with is hopefully the last one I will ever have. I love him and he knows it.

    ? ? A few days ago:
    Import said "somewhat recently, another man has enetered the picture and I find myself quite enamored by this individual. He flirts very obviously with me, but he's also so fuckin cute....and handsome. I just am finding it hard to resist. . . . So, now I find myself wanting to explore this."

    didn't sound like "the last one I will ever have" . .


    ehhh, whatever.