URGENT Help Please

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2013 3:18 AM GMT
    Hi Guys

    I need your help with something that happened to me and has made me very worried of contracting HIV.

    First: I want to clarify I'm not a very sexually active gay man. I am 24 and have only been with 7 men all of my life and never done anal sex... some people say it's ridiculous but this is the way I want to live my sexuality so I usually do oral sex and sacarnos la leche - as we say in Spanish and that could be translated as milking or mutual masturbation.

    Yesterday I had a "hook-up" with a guy I met online. We began talking and he was wearing a very sexy jockstrap I asked him to bring in. I performed oral sex on him for 3 minutes or less and he performed oral sex on me for the same amount of time. Then I rubbed my penis [without even any pre-cum] on his butt checks [Not even close to his rectum]. After that nos sacamos la leche We masturbated each other until I ejaculated first fully on my stomach and he ejaculated on a blanket. I did touch a few drops of his semen and rubbed them against his own thigh. After that we cleaned with towels [not the same] and talked about other topics unrelated to sex for about an half an hour.

    The thing is I've been reading for more than 8 hrs articles about the risks of HIV through oral sex and I am frightened. There are claims of people who performed oral sex on other men without even pre-cum and had healthy mouths and they claim they got HIV.

    The consensus seems to be that yes, oral sex is low risk but can be a way of transmission of HIV with certain factors that make it more risky: ejaculation or pre-cum in mouth, open wounds in mouth, brushing/flossing before sex and so on.

    Assessing my risk
    I did brush and floss about 4 hrs before the encounter because I know you just can't do it just few minutes before.
    I had dental work done on me about 4 weeks ago. Tooth extraction without complications which healed correctly.
    I did have some pre-cum on my penis which I cleaned with my towel before he began to suck my penis.
    We did not use condoms for these 3 min of oral sex.
    I don't know his HIV status. He stated he is bisexual and has had previous sex with men/women but is strict with condom use always. Not guarantee but still worth mentioning.

    Even though he didn't have any pre-cum on his penis and his penis did not have any visible sores/wounds I'm still worried about the "microscopic" wounds not visible to the eye that can carry HIV.

    It sucks that I have to wait 3 months [likely without sex] to be sure. I don't know if it's than I am worrying too much of it's because it's summer in here but I feel like an internal heat. I just asked my mom and dad to be sure and they say that yes it's hot outside - 86-93 F

    I tested myself in January after 5 months without sex and the test result was negative. I had a date coming with a dude that is the only one I allow to finger me [and he does other things that I like very much] but I had to cancel it. He asked me why and then I said it was because I am very busy with a project at work.

    I would like all your comments about my issue, please.

    Thanks
    Eduardo
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2013 3:49 AM GMT
    Sex is risky.

    You've done your risk assessment and set your initial risk appetite and risk tolerances.

    Now, adjust to where you can relax and enjoy sex.

    Or, avoid sex altogether.
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    Apr 01, 2013 4:21 AM GMT
    Thanks for your comment.

    I'll think I'll end up for the latter but in the long term. Even if I work at Risk Management - Banking I don't like to take any risk
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 01, 2013 3:50 PM GMT
    I really don't think internet hookups are for you..

    .. You probably be better off with one person that you know very well..get tested together..often..while still using protection.

    Be safe..
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    Apr 01, 2013 5:41 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidI really don't think internet hookups are for you..

    .. You probably be better off with one person that you know very well..get tested together..often..while still using protection.

    Be safe..


    Thanks for your comment. I don't think either that Internet hook-ups are for me but sometimes you just get too horny and masturbation isn't enough. About the "relationship" ... I have thought about it but it's not something I want to do now. I am too focused on my job/career that a boyfriend/partner would be a hassle.

    Going back to topic... I am still worried, not like yesterday b/c I know this heat is not my head making things up [92F outside] but still... I know what I did was low risk but still risk icon_neutral.gif I'll wait 3 months, get tested and post the results in here.
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    Apr 02, 2013 12:10 AM GMT
    From all the reading I've done, and in talking to doctors, it is incredibly unlikely you could have contracted HIV from 3 minutes of oral sex with someone who did not cum inside of you. It is more likely you would be in an accident in a car, or walking down the street. There are other STDs that may be transmitted in the way you've described, but not HIV.

    If oral sex was as dangerous as you fear, everyone on this site would be dead by now. In fact, you are overreacting and may be reading inaccurate literature.

    Keep in mind that we are exposed to deadly organisms every day. Our body only succumbs to these organisms if the immune system is sufficiently overwhelmed. This is why it is possible that many people have had unsafe sex with infected people and yet do not become infected. Eventually, of course, the odds catch up with them.
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    Apr 02, 2013 12:47 PM GMT
    Nivek saidFrom all the reading I've done, and in talking to doctors, it is incredibly unlikely you could have contracted HIV from 3 minutes of oral sex with someone who did not cum inside of you. It is more likely you would be in an accident in a car, or walking down the street. There are other STDs that may be transmitted in the way you've described, but not HIV.

    If oral sex was as dangerous as you fear, everyone on this site would be dead by now. In fact, you are overreacting and may be reading inaccurate literature.

    Keep in mind that we are exposed to deadly organisms every day. Our body only succumbs to these organisms if the immune system is sufficiently overwhelmed. This is why it is possible that many people have had unsafe sex with infected people and yet do not become infected. Eventually, of course, the odds catch up with them.


    Thank you very much for your comment
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2013 12:58 PM GMT
    I dont think you need to worry so much, yes there is a risk, but it would be incredibly low.

    HIV really does need a lot of factors to be right in order for infection to occur, the chances of it occurring during oral sex without large tears in the oral mucosa, or other factors like syphillis or chlamydia / gonorrhoea are very low..

    Very low, but still present - it makes good sense to get tested...regularly.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 02, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    Thanks for your comment.

    Indeed, I am less stressed now... and it's another hot day in here with 91F.

    I do get tested regularly. At least every 6 months even if I had just 1 or 2 hook-ups.
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    Apr 02, 2013 6:13 PM GMT
    Thanx for the comment.

    I always carry 2 condoms just in case I might wanna try anal... I doubt it but just in case