I have a little saying I say to myself: "Just because I slept with you before doesn't mean I'll have sex with you again! I have my standards, ya know."
When I was younger I played with a lot of guys who weren't my type, especially in my 20s when I was with my bi bud. Lots of people wanted to have sex with us and we were very accommodating. It was fun. We used to turn the joke around about why God made alcohol: so we could get drunk and have sex with ugly people. That's just terrible, I know. But we were a little crazy back then. Only now that I'm so much older, I wait for everyone else to get drunk before going out so they'll have sex with me. Jokes on me, haha. Such is life.
More seriously, I used to experiment a lot with different types of people. I did that purposely to explore myself, to see how I reacted, to understand myself. Then from probably my 30s to about 50 I only played with guys who totally turned me on from the get go and that was fun too, though for 10 years of that my primary relationship was with a guy who did not turn me on much at all even though a very handsome himself. We played with others together and separately to satisfy that.
But now I find myself experimenting again. I do this very purposely because I'm approaching my 60s and then 70s and my dad is in his 80s and I've got relatives into their 90s and I don't want to be alone for that long a time. So I've been easing myself into it, having sex with people who don't normally turn me on. So I can do that to some degree. There's a limit, of course. But I do try to consciously expand the range of who typically catches my eye.
We're guys and we're gay and we very visually connect. I don't want that to interfere with my happiness and at least some sense of sexual satisfaction or with my ability to partner with someone who might have some otherwise very wonderful qualities that were I to only focus on the sexual aspect of a relationship, I would wind up denying myself their good company.
We put a very high premium at too high a cost on having sex only with they who turn us on completely. We do that not just based on looks, but to pigeon hole ourselves even more, to isolate ourselves, we pick and chose based on masc/fem stuff, on age, on sexual acts, on innumerable variables when we ourselves are in such limited supply. You may luck out and find the guy for a period of time, but otherwise it's a perfect formula to wind up living life alone.