Is it wrong?

  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Apr 01, 2013 10:47 PM GMT
    When you are dating someone but not sure about how he feels about you, would it be wrong to go on a date with different guys? Would you tell the guy that you were going to date other people?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 01, 2013 10:50 PM GMT
    No, it's not wrong because you're not committed to anyone! And you don't owe him an explanation on what you're doing. Enjoy your other date!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 01, 2013 11:38 PM GMT
    Kind of. If you're not sure how he feel about you, then you should try to make an effort to find out, BEFORE going on other dates. Just my opinion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 02, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    You're thinking of dating others but aren't sure how he feels about you . . .

    How do you feel about him? You're obviously not that into him or you wouldn't be contemplating dating others.

    I'm not saying it's wrong, but if it was me I'd want to know where I stood with the current guy first.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 02, 2013 12:15 AM GMT
    willie45 saidYou're thinking of dating others but aren't sure how he feels about you . . .

    How do you feel about him? You're obviously not that into him or you wouldn't be contemplating dating others.

    I'm not saying it's wrong, but if it was me I'd want to know where I stood with the current guy first.

    This...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 02, 2013 12:23 AM GMT
    wherewillwebe saidWhen you are dating someone but not sure about how he feels about you, would it be wrong to go on a date with different guys? Would you tell the guy that you were going to date other people?


    How do you feel about him?

    Back when the pyramids were new and I was dating, if I had it bad for a guy I was dating but didn't know how he felt about me, I didn't usually date others. I had already tried that once and found out when I was with others all I thought about was the guy I liked and wondered how he felt about me. icon_wink.gif

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 02, 2013 6:31 AM GMT
    it's super smart to tell the guy you're seeing you're dating other people.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 02, 2013 7:20 AM GMT
    When you say dating someone, you go on multiple dates with him.
    One to two dates he's getting a feel for your personality.
    If you go on a third then he definitely likes you.
    Four and more then he thinks your relationship quality, which in that case you need to tell him how you feel about him if you wish to see other guys.
    (or if you guys haven't had sex by now, then he's waiting to f*** you)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 02, 2013 7:30 AM GMT
    I hear what you are asking ...but I think I KNOW what you really mean !

    You know you should tell him.. You know the risks, you know the possible outcome..

    ..Make the better decision..Tell Him!!
  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Apr 02, 2013 8:36 AM GMT
    Thank you all for your repliesicon_biggrin.gif

    It's just that I have expressed my feelings for him a couple of times and he is like 'I am taking as it comes'..also I saw him on gaydar a few times 'looking to hook up now' on his signature thingy (I've posted about this on here a little while backicon_evil.gif

    I don't want to bring up this gaydar thingy with him for we are not in a committed relationship and it is not really my business.

    I've been talking to this other guy for a while now and he has wanted to meet up with me in person..hence the topic title!icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 02, 2013 12:37 PM GMT
    If you guys aren't exclusively dating there is no crime in you dating other guys (especially if you don't feel he is showing as much interest) you are solid man go on other dates its not like you are getting married if you do it's a no commitment situation.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 02, 2013 12:44 PM GMT
    I say be honest.... and communicate! If you aren't sure whats up, ASK!
    Don't go on a date with another guy if you have questions about how it would be perceived by the guy you are seeing. Talk to him before you do it. Without effective communication any "future" you may have with the guy you are seeing may well be in jeopardy!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 02, 2013 3:43 PM GMT
    wherewillwebe saidThank you all for your repliesicon_biggrin.gif

    It's just that I have expressed my feelings for him a couple of times and he is like 'I am taking as it comes'..also I saw him on gaydar a few times 'looking to hook up now' on his signature thingy (I've posted about this on here a little while backicon_evil.gif

    I don't want to bring up this gaydar thingy with him for we are not in a committed relationship and it is not really my business.

    I've been talking to this other guy for a while now and he has wanted to meet up with me in person..hence the topic title!icon_neutral.gif


    Then the bolded text answers your question. You could tell him that you've decided you are also taking things as they come, bring up the gaydar and explain that you'd also like to keep your options open, too.

    You can word this warmly and kindly, and wait to see his reaction.
  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Apr 03, 2013 12:27 PM GMT
    hi all..just an update..

    I didn't want to throw that gaydar thingy in his face by confronting him. Anyway I saw him on gaydar again tonight looking to hook up now icon_rolleyes.gif. So I just sent him a message saying..

    'hi! nice profile! I see you looking to hook up now! would you like to meet for a coffee?...just kidding! how are you doing (his name)? how is your shoulder (injured)? hope you had a good day today! have a good night, sir'

    then he replied 'hi thanks I just came back from physio. going to have a shower and an early night. see you soon'

    So hopefully he is not that thick and gets that I know that he is looking for hook ups.

    now what? how do I tell him that I would like to keep my options open?



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2013 2:58 PM GMT
    wherewillwebe saidhi all..just an update..

    I didn't want to throw that gaydar thingy in his face by confronting him. Anyway I saw him on gaydar again tonight looking to hook up now icon_rolleyes.gif. So I just sent him a message saying..

    'hi! nice profile! I see you looking to hook up now! would you like to meet for a coffee?...just kidding! how are you doing (his name)? how is your shoulder (injured)? hope you had a good day today! have a good night, sir'

    then he replied 'hi thanks I just came back from physio. going to have a shower and an early night. see you soon'

    So hopefully he is not that thick and gets that I know that he is looking for hook ups.

    now what? how do I tell him that I would like to keep my options open?





    How? The best way is in person so that he can see there's no meanness in your decision. You might simply say you'd like to keep you options open in the manner he is. I imagine he'll ask about that, and you might say that like him, you may want a hook up or so, and you should explain the gaydar. His reaction should be interesting.
  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Apr 03, 2013 9:17 PM GMT
    How? The best way is in person so that he can see there's no meanness in your decision. You might simply say you'd like to keep you options open in the manner he is. I imagine he'll ask about that, and you might say that like him, you may want a hook up or so, and you should explain the gaydar. His reaction should be interesting.




    thank you for taking the time to replyicon_biggrin.gif

    I will see how it goes when I see him next time..the thing is I liked him a lot and this is such a big disappointment..but well, there is nothing you can do about how others feel about you!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    wherewillwebe saidhi all..just an update..

    I didn't want to throw that gaydar thingy in his face by confronting him. Anyway I saw him on gaydar again tonight looking to hook up now icon_rolleyes.gif. So I just sent him a message saying..

    'hi! nice profile! I see you looking to hook up now! would you like to meet for a coffee?...just kidding! how are you doing (his name)? how is your shoulder (injured)? hope you had a good day today! have a good night, sir'

    then he replied 'hi thanks I just came back from physio. going to have a shower and an early night. see you soon'

    So hopefully he is not that thick and gets that I know that he is looking for hook ups.

    now what? how do I tell him that I would like to keep my options open?




    Move on.

    Almost this very thing happened to me. Only the guy acted like he was drunk and asked to see X rated pics of me. icon_rolleyes.gif

    It's an indication that he doesn't think of you in a serious regard. He is cheap, flaky and will abandon you faster then you blink.
  • gwuinsf

    Posts: 525

    Apr 03, 2013 10:14 PM GMT
    wherewillwebe said How? The best way is in person so that he can see there's no meanness in your decision. You might simply say you'd like to keep you options open in the manner he is. I imagine he'll ask about that, and you might say that like him, you may want a hook up or so, and you should explain the gaydar. His reaction should be interesting.




    thank you for taking the time to replyicon_biggrin.gif

    I will see how it goes when I see him next time..the thing is I liked him a lot and this is such a big disappointment..but well, there is nothing you can do about how others feel about you!


    I'm a little confused as to what you want out of this guy. On one hand you say you want to keep things open and date other guys, but then you act stalkery and you're disappointed that he's hooking up with other guys.

    Are you sure you are being honest with yourself about what you want? It sounds to me like you want more from him than just a casual thing, but this other guy wants a casual thing so you've convinced yourself that that is what you want. If all you wanted was a casual relationship with him and you wanted to date other guys it should be a relief for you to see that that is what he also wants.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 03, 2013 10:22 PM GMT
    When this question came up before, people were 50/50 split between hating it and not minding. It depends on the other guy's personality.

    Overall, it is probably best if you raise the issue. There is no easy way to do it because you don't really know how they will react.

    My favourite way would be to say "How would you feel if I went on a date with someone else?" hoping that they would say they would prefer me not to. This works better if you have not already been on the date with the someone else. It still sounds a bit dickish but I can't think of a better way to say it...
  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Apr 03, 2013 10:45 PM GMT
    thanks
  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Apr 07, 2013 12:57 AM GMT
    just an updateicon_biggrin.gif

    We spent the night together last nigth but everything was so great that I didn't want to say anthing that might ruin the night! icon_sad.gif
    So when I got back home this morning, I sent him a text message that I had something to tell him but missed the chance.

    I am going to see him tonight or Tuesday night. It's hard to confront someone who you are not in a relationship with..

    Would this sound nice enough not to upset him?
    do you mind me going out with other guys as well? I thought we were kind of exclusive but it seems like you don't think so! I would like to keep my options open too like you are!


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 07, 2013 1:08 AM GMT
    wherewillwebe saidWould this sound nice enough not to upset him?
    do you mind me going out with other guys as well? I thought we were kind of exclusive but it seems like you don't think so! I would like to keep my options open too like you are!

    My take would be

    So, I been chatting to this guy for a few weeks, seems kinda cool. Asked if I wanted to have coffee. You cool with that.

    But that's me and how I'd do it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 07, 2013 1:33 AM GMT
    If you feel or have to sneak around on the guy your dating...its not a good thing man. It's not the lottery, you can't buy as many tickets are you want. One at a time, be civil, not a child. Also...it tends too just end badly for everyone....
  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Apr 07, 2013 4:13 AM GMT
    thanksicon_smile.gif