Never had a boyfriend

  • Mark87

    Posts: 106

    Apr 04, 2013 8:31 AM GMT
    So this guy messaged me on okcupid and said he liked my profile alot, thought I was cute (I have current pics there-way better) and would like to get to know me. We chatted and really quickly exchanged numbers and started texting. We both work at bars and he asked me to call him after work. We talked for 2 1/2 hours and did it again the next night. We clicked instantly and were texting back and forth. He told me he was seriously crushing on me and we met the next day before work just to get it out the way. It was great and we kissed and agreed that he would come over the next night to watch movies and hangout no sexpectations because he wanted to go slow. That lasted for two hours of the IT crowed then were rolling around making out and that turned to doing plenty of things. I was a little self conscious so it wasnt my best performance but but he made no mention of it and we cuddled and talked for a few minutes. I forget how but a past boyfriend came up and mentioned how I had never had one (I'm an idiot who) . We went to sleep cuddling. Next day we ate then cuddled on the couch and watched tv. He was playing with my hands and running his hands through my hair. We kissed some more amd he told me he liked me again. we texted the next few days but it quickly just became me texting him jokes with barely a reply. We talked on the phone again and I asked if I was coming on too strong. He said no and he would let me know if I ever got too much and that he just likes to take things slow. I went back to texting him like normal. He said he thought i was funny so I didnt think texting my funny thoughts on pedestrians was too much. He had invited me before to go by his bar on sunday when it would be quiet so I thought it would be a good idea. Unfortunately I had gotten some unrelated bad news on my way there and was a bit preoccupied when I arrived. The conversation was a bit awkward and simple as his manager was there and I left as he was closing up feeling uneasy. I had given him an invite to come over the next night to watch the walking dead finale w a bottle of jameson as we had planned before because we're classy sophisticated gays. He said he'd like that. Next night I texted asking if he was coming over and he never replied. Around 4am I saw he was on facebook so I messaged him whats up. He said he was exhausted after working doubles and not sleeping. I mentioned how I suck at casual dating and he apologized saying he was conflicted and had been hurt before and didnt know if he was ready to date yet. I was also pretty delirious and exhausted and I kiiiind of unloaded on him asking if he was being honest or if he was no longer interested. I asked if he was worried about my being a relationship virgin and he said that was his main concern that he would be the one to teach me how to be in a relationship and he didnt want that. I called him up, not angry, and we basically had the same conversation out loud and I started going on and on about why I hadnt had one yet because he asked. I was 300 lbs. Nuff said. He told me he didnt think hed be dating anyone and then realized it had gotten serious really quick and thats why he had been so distant the past few days. Then he said he was too exhuasted to have this conversation and not to worry we would talk. Next day I messaged him that I was sorry to unload on him and that I was going to give him some breathing space and he could call me whenever.

    I really like this guy and I feel like dying knowing that I might have fucked this up. Havent had feelings for someone like this in a long time. I had managed to forget about how lonely I was for a long time until now. He set the pace and I let every barrier drop. I'm a taurus. If it feels right dont hold back. Does anyone have advice? Is it a bullshit excuse or does he really like me and want to figure it out? Really any thoughts will do as I need distraction even a freaking limerick
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Apr 04, 2013 12:27 PM GMT
    You gotta learn to break your text up. Condense please, no one wants to read a massive wall of text icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 04, 2013 2:20 PM GMT
    Well that was fast..

    Too many things are not adding up...

    He wants to teach you how to handle a relationship then he does things to make you insecure??

    The simple things you did or said should not have made a difference ..if this was a solid beginning !!

    ..I think you are passionate..and overly excited about this don't know how to handle it... neither does he..!!

    The time apart might help you two to put things in perspective..

    If he calls and want's to hang !!

    SLOW DOWN !!


  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11405

    Apr 04, 2013 2:51 PM GMT
    Him telling you that he wants to take things slow, may just be a part of his modus operandi to get you into bed and then move on to the next conquest.

    Crushing on a guy can make you act stupid and say stupid shit, so just start treating him like you would treat one of your friends. If it goes further then great, if it doesn't, then you never did anything wrong to cause it not to work.

    I wish you the best and hope it works out.
  • Myles_

    Posts: 114

    Apr 04, 2013 3:13 PM GMT
    can someone do a tl;dr summary. Srsl.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 04, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    Myles_ saidcan someone do a tl;dr summary. Srsl.

    No, betch you gotta read like we all did. icon_evil.gif

    As for the advice, I wouldn't text him unless he texted you. The ball has been in his court but you seem to always pick it up and throw it at him again, you need to slow it down with the texts and messages.
  • Mark87

    Posts: 106

    Apr 09, 2013 2:27 PM GMT
    Sweet damn you're right that was a lot of text. I couldn't find this topic once I'd made it so I started it again. we're talking again but I've asked him for another date and he's avoiding giving me an answer. We're going to talk today and I'm going to tell him we need to meet in person or say fuck it cuz I don't have time for this shit. Only seen him 3 times in 3 weeks all in the first week. Pretty sure he was being a dick so I'd end it and he wouldn't have to. I need a fucking hobby
  • Jakey2018

    Posts: 5

    Apr 10, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    Sorry to say, he isn't interested in going any farther. He is just one of those guys that hopes you will get the hint, instead of him having to come out and say it. Let it go and learn from it.

    Not getting responses to texts, phone calls, etc is a clear sign. It sucks, but it happens. Sorry dude, been there myself a few times as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2013 1:18 AM GMT

    They like each other, but they don't want to rush things. However it got too intense so now they are back at square one....