Monogamy does it exist anymore? Does anyone take relationships serious?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    So I just got dumped and I have been questioning. Do people believe in monogamy anymore or is it just me?

    I have observed many many relationships in our community that are open relationships. Every couple i have come across that were in one are no longer because it doesn't seem to work. But hey to each their own. I'm not judging I am simply asking other point of views.
    I have been cheated on after being with him for 4 years. I broke it off. 2 years later I meet someone thought was the one even though it was only 6 months but he left me on Tuesday due to "not having that spark anymore." ( I found him on hook up social media site while in the relationship)

    So does anyone take it seriously anymore?

    Does monogamy mean anything to anyone anymore?

    I believe if you are to the point where you feel you need to cheat on your bf then you should break it off. Or have an adult conversation with them and see where to go from there.

    So give me your views on monogamy and or if you believe if relationships should be take seriously.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:33 AM GMT
    No and why would I? look at the options I have...

    I'll take a relationship serious when something worthwhile comes along.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:35 AM GMT
    I've been in my current relationship monogamously for almost 2 years and I'm moving in with him tomorrow. Our spark just keeps getting brighter.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:37 AM GMT
    Bitten03 saidSo I just got dumped and I have been questioning. Do people believe in monogamy anymore or is it just me?

    I have observed many many relationships in our community that are open relationships. Every couple i have come across that were in one are no longer because it doesn't seem to work. But hey to each their own. I'm not judging I am simply asking other point of views.
    I have been cheated on after being with him for 4 years. I broke it off. 2 years later I meet someone thought was the one even though it was only 6 months but he left me on Tuesday due to "not having that spark anymore." ( I found him on hook up social media site while in the relationship)

    So does anyone take it seriously anymore?

    Does monogamy mean anything to anyone anymore?

    I believe if you are to the point where you feel you need to cheat on your bf then you should break it off. Or have an adult conversation with them and see where to go from there.

    So give me your views on monogamy and or if you believe if relationships should be take seriously.


    You've had two; I had seven. I met Bill at 34, almost 24 years ago. At 20 years we married in the backyard.
    Is this helping? We and a great many others are out there and on here, just not necessarily posting. Once here long enough, you'll discover showme, who is in a relationship of 26 years that is currently open and they are both happy. There is rigsby, who has been monogamously with his lover for over 40 years. I think this year is 42!

    There are many and I could list them for probably a good half hour.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:37 AM GMT
    McQueen saidI've been in my current relationship monogamously for almost 2 years and I'm moving in with him tomorrow. Our spark just keeps getting brighter.

    Make sure you keep those synthetic fibers safely packed away.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2939

    Apr 06, 2013 4:44 AM GMT
    I was with my partner for 9 and a half years, till he died, and I've been single since.

    I know at least three gay couples in my immediate circle who have been together for 34 years for the oldest guys, and 12 or 13 for another, thre so far for the youngest, and some in between.

    Yes, it is possible. And with a good man, it's worth the work. I grew so much from my years with Chris.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:46 AM GMT
    Monogamy is important to me, and I believe it does exist.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:47 AM GMT
    Somethings never change.

    Everyone deep down does still think of starting a family. Why one wants to start a family? They want to live a fulfilled life with their love, kids and pets? It also means something more. Building a emotional partnership with someone you love and to be supported and to be there at all times even during the older age. Family can only give these fulfillment and this is possible only by Monogamy relationships

    And I agree it is not people's fault but lot many options, temptations are available around and most get confused or want to run things parallel or just too comfortable calling them as "Open Relationships" living and appreciators. Yet I still do think if in all these commotions, have they lost thought of having sex with whom they are emotionally connected. That is the supreme height of love/pleasure.

    Sending you the virtual hugs and just remain the way you are. People love that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:52 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone.
    Not to sound dramatic but I am starting to lose a little hope and faith in relationships.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 06, 2013 6:22 AM GMT
    Yes there are monogamous relationships that go on for years, but in any relationship, gay or straight, there is a possibility that one or the other might stray. But that's no reason to give up hope. What are you going to do if it happens to you. If you have been in a relationship for a while, I don't see that as a reason for not trying to work through it. All relationships take work. Now if it happens all the time, well, obviously it would be time to completely re-evaluate what exactly the relationship is and move on if necessary.
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    Apr 06, 2013 6:29 AM GMT
    Bitten03 saidSo I just got dumped and I have been questioning. Do people believe in monogamy anymore or is it just me?

    I have observed many many relationships in our community that are open relationships. Every couple i have come across that were in one are no longer because it doesn't seem to work. But hey to each their own. I'm not judging I am simply asking other point of views.
    I have been cheated on after being with him for 4 years. I broke it off. 2 years later I meet someone thought was the one even though it was only 6 months but he left me on Tuesday due to "not having that spark anymore." ( I found him on hook up social media site while in the relationship)

    So does anyone take it seriously anymore?

    Does monogamy mean anything to anyone anymore?

    I believe if you are to the point where you feel you need to cheat on your bf then you should break it off. Or have an adult conversation with them and see where to go from there.

    So give me your views on monogamy and or if you believe if relationships should be take seriously.


    My views? Okay but don't blame me; you asked for it.

    You ask: "Monogamy does it exist anymore? Does anyone take relationships serious?" and then you say "I'm not judging" so I was just wondering what it looks like when you are judging. I'm picturing something out of a B-rated bible movie.

    Every open relationship you've come across didn't work yet you can't seem to keep your closed ones going and therefore you put the blame on open relationships for your failed closed ones? Who taught you that?

    About three years after being widowed from my first 10-year open LTR I happened to find and managed to enjoy a 2nd 10-year open relationship before burying that guy too. I don't know if I can do it again but I hope I can. I still have a lot of love left to share. But I've been crying since the first death and now I cry twice over my lost relationships. Is that serious enough for you? Feel free to judge that too.

    Oh, and by the fucking way, outside of those minor death incidents which normally I'd just overlook, neither of my two guys were ever disloyal to me. So there!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2013 3:34 PM GMT
    Wow dude you took it personal and out of context I was just asking others views. I personally don't believe in open relationships. All I was stating is that I see more and more people going for that "open" option. I seriously am not judging anyone. In all do respects it is just not for me. My condolences to you and your past loved ones. I hope you find someone to make you happy again. Religion has nothing to do with my point of view when it comes to relationships. If it did then I would be a struggling homosexual in a heterosexual relationship. When I am with someone they are the only ones that exist to me. I hope that isn't such a foreign concept for you.
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    Apr 06, 2013 3:38 PM GMT
    McQueen saidI've been in my current relationship monogamously for almost 2 years and I'm moving in with him tomorrow. Our spark just keeps getting brighter.

    Tomorrow? Congrats! I'm so happy for you!

    Do you want a housewarming gift? Virtual or real? Or maybe just some advice about how to live with a guy, if this is new to you?
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    Apr 06, 2013 3:40 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    McQueen saidI've been in my current relationship monogamously for almost 2 years and I'm moving in with him tomorrow. Our spark just keeps getting brighter.

    Tomorrow? Congrats! I'm so happy for you!

    Do you need a housewarming gift? Virtual or real? Or maybe just some advice about how to live with a guy, if this is new to you?


    Hey, congrats McQueen!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2013 3:41 PM GMT
    All I know is that this past year it seems like every guy wants a relationship. I hate the pressure! But I must admit...it is nice to have someone in your life you can count on when needed...but the pressure make me flake out. Doesn't matter how nice, funny, interesting, built, looks...I'll change the mf number. Comes down to what people are ready for. Time.
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Apr 06, 2013 3:44 PM GMT
    Well if you personally believe in monogamous relationships and are capable of having one then it should give you hope that somebody out of the other 7 billion people on the Earth think the same icon_smile.gif

    Personally, I do believe in monogamous relationships but everyone has varying opinions

    And sorry about it not working out pal *bro hug*
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    Apr 06, 2013 3:48 PM GMT
    Bitten03 said
    So does anyone take it seriously anymore?

    Does monogamy mean anything to anyone anymore?

    So give me your views on monogamy and or if you believe if relationships should be take seriously.

    Yes & yes to your questions. You just haven't found "him" yet. Be patient.

    Having a loving monogamous relationship is the greatest joy I have found in the gay "world". Going to gay clubs & bars, every kind of gay event, Pride functions, having gay friends galore, living in a gay enclave (aka "ghetto") - all of that is great. But...

    Having a man all to myself is far, far better. And I believe for him, too. It's all I need, all I want. The rest is just icing on the cake. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 06, 2013 3:50 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    ART_DECO said
    McQueen saidI've been in my current relationship monogamously for almost 2 years and I'm moving in with him tomorrow. Our spark just keeps getting brighter.

    Tomorrow? Congrats! I'm so happy for you!

    Do you need a housewarming gift? Virtual or real? Or maybe just some advice about how to live with a guy, if this is new to you?

    Hey, congrats McQueen!

    Ah, now here are the premiere guys to advise on how to live with a man. I defer to them regarding any advice.
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    Apr 06, 2013 3:56 PM GMT
    Greetings from Hbg.....icon_wink.gif
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Apr 06, 2013 4:02 PM GMT
    I do! My boyfriend and have been together nearly two years. The last 6 months has been ,long distance, as I am in school. We are still going strong.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:11 PM GMT
    I'm completely for monogamous relationships. I wouldn't want a one night stand or be someone's %&*- buddy. I believe in being faithful and committed but you can't expect everyone else to be the same though. Currently in a monogamous relationship. icon_smile.gif
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2939

    Apr 06, 2013 4:12 PM GMT
    This will be wildly unpopular, and no criticism of open relationships is intended, but...

    A long-term, committed relationship can be a path to growth. When Chris was alive, I wanted to be a better person, someone he'd admire. He called me on some of my dumbass stuff and made me think, learn and improve. The "unavoidable other" makes us give up a bit of ego. And how much I loved being there for him, preparing a good meal, etc... Giving is good for you.

    And then there's the comfort of having someone to be vulnerable with, someone to lean on when you need it. And sharing stuff like jokes...

    It takes time, it's not always easy (!!) - but with the right person, and with work, it's unimaginably rewarding.

    Now someone tell me how to find another guy! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:14 PM GMT
    I believe in it still. Just really hard to find others who do is all.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Apr 06, 2013 4:21 PM GMT
    Try closely monitoring your next bf's phone calls, texts, internet accts, etc, and if that doesn't work handcuff him to the bed and only let him out on supervised outings. You could also try cutting off his feet. It's a little Annie Wilkes in "Misery," but the heart wants what it wants. And if he still cheats, then kill him and bottle his soul in a crystal urn sealed with blood pricked from the tip of your penis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2013 4:57 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidTry closely monitoring your next bf's phone calls, texts, internet accts, etc, and if that doesn't work handcuff him to the bed and only let him out on supervised outings. You could also try cutting off his feet. It's a little Annie Wilkes in "Misery," but the heart wants what it wants. And if he still cheats, then kill him and bottle his soul in a crystal urn sealed with blood pricked from the tip of your penis.


    And if that doesn't work take him to a taxidermist. Then he can be with you forever. icon_smile.gif

    Joking aside, my best gay friend sys monogamy doesn't work for gays cause men are so carnal. I disagreed because my boyfriend and I have been together for a year monogamously. I know that's not long but it's both of ours longest relationship.

    Don't lose hope!!!