anybody here ever been molested or sexually abused?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 5:15 AM GMT
    fortunately, it has never happened to me. sad to hear that it has happened to so many people though and that there's so many pedos and sickos walking the earth. not just men but women as well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 5:48 AM GMT
    killercliche saidIt's not the best time, but life has this way about it of just moving on. I find that if you can keep riding the wave out, with time the rocky waters give more perspective than pain... or something.


    i know that everyone has their way of dealing with things but have you ever tried to seek therapy from what you experienced? if you have, did you feel like you got something out of it by speaking on what happened or the pain you experienced? it's not easy to deal with such. let alone to even acknowledge being a victim of such a horrible offense.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 06, 2013 6:11 AM GMT
    Personally, I don't this is an appropriate subject for a public forum where you would expose yourself to the entire world. This is probably a subject more for a private therapy session. Perhaps wording your question differently concerning, thoughts, feelings and view points about molestation and its effects on someone who has been molested would elicit more of a response. But, personally, I feel it is in appropriate to ask such a question in a public forum. You are basically asking "have you ever been raped, what was it like and how did it effect you?" That is pretty personal and inconsiderate and exposes people of something that could be very traumatic that happened in their life without any sort of followup therapy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 2:01 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidPersonally, I don't this is an appropriate subject for a public forum where you would expose yourself to the entire world. This is probably a subject more for a private therapy session. Perhaps wording your question differently concerning, thoughts, feelings and view points about molestation and its effects on someone who has been molested would elicit more of a response. But, personally, I feel it is in appropriate to ask such a question in a public forum. You are basically asking "have you ever been raped, what was it like and how did it effect you?" That is pretty personal and inconsiderate and exposes people of something that could be very traumatic that happened in their life without any sort of followup therapy.


    kanye-shrug.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 2:06 PM GMT
    a lot of people are looking to be sexually 'abused' on craigslist. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 2:08 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said:
    Personally, I don't this is an appropriate subject for a public forum where you would expose yourself to the entire world. This is probably a subject more for a private therapy session. Perhaps wording your question differently concerning, thoughts, feelings and view points about molestation and its effects on someone who has been molested would elicit more of a response. But, personally, I feel it is in appropriate to ask such a question in a public forum. You are basically asking "have you ever been raped, what was it like and how did it effect you?" That is pretty personal and inconsiderate and exposes people of something that could be very traumatic that happened in their life without any sort of followup therapy.
    AGREED - WHAT THE HELL??icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 2:10 PM GMT
    Yes, a friend of the family 'interfered' with me as a child, I found out later that he also molested some of his grand children who were of a similar age to me.

    While I was never 'raped', (ie there was no intercourse) - I was a child of around 11 it gave me some difficulties and some shame about touching myself, cleaning myself that I've had to work through as a teenager and 20-something.

    My father had been working away for extended periods of time, and I looked up to this man as a 'grandfather' figure - I had some serious trust issues for a long time after this;

    I never told my family, because I knew they wouldnt beleive me - unfortunately the other children also didnt say anything until about 5 years later - it split their family.

    It wasnt until I met one of them as an adult in my 20s that I confessed that I had also been molested by their grandfather (who was then dead).

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 5:44 PM GMT
    I was molested from the age of 4 until 10 by my adoptive father. I didnt find out until I was 40 that I was adopted (by that time both adoptive parents were long dead) He died when I was 14 (happiest day of my life unfortunately). I thought all fathers fucked their sons when i was younger. And when my own son was born, i was scared shitless I would do the same. I never did, the mere thought disgusted me. I had repressed alot of stuff from my childhood until I found out about the adoption. I spent alot of years in therapy in my 40ies and at that time I finally came out. Once i realized it was not genetics that lead to me being abused, I was able to have normal relationship with my own son. I also realize it was more about the A-dad and his innate need to hurt his wife (my A-mom) i was able to come to grips. Im sure that she knew what was happening, as she (her and I) tried to leave him numerous times when I was young, but she always went back. It has been a long road to recovery, and Im not sure you even recover at all. My heart goes out to all who have been through this. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 5:47 PM GMT
    this is a bit too personal icon_neutral.gif
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Apr 06, 2013 6:03 PM GMT
    Seric saidthis is a bit too personal icon_neutral.gif


    I agree, but it's up to those whom have had the bad experience to share if they choose
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:05 PM GMT
    hey, i was all a dirty secret for years, so its very cathartic to let it out! Sorry if it offends some.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Apr 06, 2013 6:09 PM GMT
    hairyandym saidhey, i was all a dirty secret for years, so its very cathartic to let it out! Sorry if it offends some.


    Don't listen to them. Keep telling your story, if it helps to get it out there!! I'm sure there are others who will find courage in your strength.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:09 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidPersonally, I don't this is an appropriate subject for a public forum where you would expose yourself to the entire world. This is probably a subject more for a private therapy session. Perhaps wording your question differently concerning, thoughts, feelings and view points about molestation and its effects on someone who has been molested would elicit more of a response. But, personally, I feel it is in appropriate to ask such a question in a public forum. You are basically asking "have you ever been raped, what was it like and how did it effect you?" That is pretty personal and inconsiderate and exposes people of something that could be very traumatic that happened in their life without any sort of followup therapy.


    Very true. Some things are not meant for public discussions. I am not surprised this thread has led to some unpleasant flashbacks to those affected. It would be different if the person affected asking for advice or a support group is asked for.

    Just my 2cents.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:11 PM GMT
    I don't know, does it count if we were both 8 years old?
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Apr 06, 2013 6:12 PM GMT
    iamziz said
    AMoonHawk saidPersonally, I don't this is an appropriate subject for a public forum where you would expose yourself to the entire world. This is probably a subject more for a private therapy session. Perhaps wording your question differently concerning, thoughts, feelings and view points about molestation and its effects on someone who has been molested would elicit more of a response. But, personally, I feel it is in appropriate to ask such a question in a public forum. You are basically asking "have you ever been raped, what was it like and how did it effect you?" That is pretty personal and inconsiderate and exposes people of something that could be very traumatic that happened in their life without any sort of followup therapy.


    Very true. Some things are not meant for public discussions. I am not surprised this thread has led to some unpleasant flashbacks to those affected. It would be different if the person affected asking for advice or a support group is asked for.

    Just my 2cents.


    Yeah, it's better to force people to keep their emotions bottled up!icon_neutral.gif

    icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Apr 06, 2013 6:12 PM GMT
    charlitos saidI don't know, does it count if we were both 8 years old?


    No
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    So Scaredmidget?.. What was the motivation for starting this thread?
    Just curious.!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:16 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidSo Scaredmidget?.. What was the motivation for starting this thread?
    Just curious.!


    there was none. just ran across my mind and no, i have no secrets to share as i said, i was never molested or sexually abused.

    in no way am i making this thread to be a creep or whatever. yeah, this is a very touchy subject and very personal but at the same time, the topic of sexual abuse that happen to men is basically not treated as seriously as sexual abuse that happens to women. therefore a lot of guys that experienced it don't talk about it and keep it to themselves and their victimizers go free to abuse others. it's time to raise some awareness. if there was more awareness going around, someone like jerry sandusky would have LONG been incarcerated. silence is deadly.

    this thread was not intended to cause harm. i'm sorry if this thread comes off insensitive or offensive. i apologize.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:21 PM GMT
    So you just kinda sat there going ...

    Sponge Bob Square Pants...

    How many guys on RJ were Raped??.. icon_eek.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:25 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidSo you just kinda sat there going ...

    Sponge Bob Square Pants...

    How many guys on RJ were Raped??.. icon_eek.gif



    it wasn't like that. i seen the topic talked about on other public forums so since i didn't see a thread like that over here, i figured to why not make one. would the same thing be said about my thread if i was a victim of a sexual abuse and shared my story theoretically speaking?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:25 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    hairyandym saidhey, i was all a dirty secret for years, so its very cathartic to let it out! Sorry if it offends some.


    Don't listen to them. Keep telling your story, if it helps to get it out there!! I'm sure there are others who will find courage in your strength.


    thanks... for me, if I didn't discuss it, it (and I) stayed the 'dirty secret' and therefore it ended up defining me... happily, it no longer does !!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:26 PM GMT
    hairyandym saidhey, i was all a dirty secret for years, so its very cathartic to let it out! Sorry if it offends some.

    It does not offend me. It saddens me such things like childhood sexual abuse have happened.

    But neither did I ever experience that in my life, not once, nor heard of it. Not in Boy Scouts, not as a Catholic Altar Boy, not at boys summer camp, not within my family, not ever.

    And yet I'm still gay. Which suggests to me that being gay is not solely the result of childhood abuse, as some would contend, or due to some other trama. Nor did I have a weak and absent father, another cliché that some promote as a cause for boys becoming gay.

    I did have a very powerful & brilliant mother, but so was my father, both of them elected officials, both of them with their own careers, earning about the same. It made me the spoiled brat I still am, an underachiever who will never match them. icon_sad.gif

    But molested? No. And yet I'm still gay. So I hope that false cliché can be taken off the table.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:32 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    hairyandym saidhey, i was all a dirty secret for years, so its very cathartic to let it out! Sorry if it offends some.

    It does not offend me. It saddens me such things like sexual abuse have happened.

    But neither did I ever experience that in my life, not once. Not in Boy Scouts, not as a Catholic Altar Boy, not at boys summer camp, not within my family, not ever.

    And yet I'm still gay. Which suggests to me that being gay is not solely the result of childhood abuse, as some would contend. Nor did I have a weak and absent father, another cliché that some promote as a cause for boys becoming gay.

    I had a very powerful & brilliant mother, but so was my father, both of them elected officials, both of them with their own careers, earning about the same. It made me the spoiled brat I still am, an underachiever who will never match them. icon_sad.gif

    But molested? No. And yet I'm still gay. So I hope that false cliché can be taken off the table.


    that's another misconception that goes around from some of these ignorant homophobes mouths. that men become gay if they've been molested when they were younger. icon_mad.gif never happened to me either but i still came out to be gay.

    to tell you the truth. at one point, i actually wondered if that was the case where i probably may have been molested at some point in my life but i blurred it out and that's how i became gay or if i turned out with the issues i do now where i have a fear of dating or engaging in sex with other people where i avoid it altogether. i never been molested or sexually abused as my memory serves me and my memory is pretty damn good. sometimes, i just wonder if that probably happened to me but i happened to forgot. guess i'm looking for something or someone to blame.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:33 PM GMT
    OH... lets see, some of the topics on here range from.
    -anal douching.-cum shots -gang bangs -bowel movements, wanting to fuck our cousins, fucking huge back titties, ugly clothes, some goof who didnt text us back...and on and on
    and yet we shouldnt feel that we can share something that real! Thats a shame.. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 06, 2013 6:37 PM GMT
    hairyandym saidOH... lets see, some of the topics on here range from.
    -anal douching.-cum shots -gang bangs -bowel movements, wanting to fuck our cousins, fucking huge back titties, ugly clothes, some goof who didnt text us back...and on and on
    and yet we shouldnt feel that we can share something that real! Thats a shame.. icon_confused.gif


    btw, thank you for sharing your story in this thread. that took a lot of courage. i'm sure there's many people in here that can relate to what you said and are scared to speak out about it. hopefully, others have the courage to come forward to someone outthere if they've been through the same thing so they won't be suffering in silence.