Toll of mental illness

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 06, 2013 5:11 PM GMT
    Really sad what mental illness can do.
    Bumped into an old 'friend' last night at a concert.We'd been good friends for about ten years some time back, and then one day he just vanished out of my life.
    Flash forward about three years and we bumped into each other when he came into my place of work with one of our customers...he seemed so happy to see me gave me his new phone number and lets get together and catch up etc...not more than a week later bumped into him again and it was like a different person.Wouldn't even look at me cold robotic answers.hmmm ok.

    Two weeks later an e mail 'lets get together would be great to see you etc,..'
    scratching my head- I mentioned this to the customer I'd seen him with, she told me he had been having a really rough time mentally , Doctors Psychiatrists you name it.Found out his behaviour had been increasingly bizarre including buying a house with a then boyfriend ,quitting a job, planning on moving up north and just as they are about to step off the boat and begin a new life looks at his then partner and says "I can't do this.Goodbye".No warning ,Other guy had no clue anything was amiss.Quit his job for him..went into debt to buy a new house..Yep true story.

    We eventually did meet up for coffee one day and I listened carefully to this 'friend' explain how everything was everyone else's fault.Although he admitted he had problems it was always someone else who was screwing up his life and not him.Broken friendships,broken relationships,and on and on.I felt very sorry for him.I also realized that sometimes the most compassionate thing to do would be wish him well and realize there is nothing I can do....and in some cases let the person go.Someone like that can suck the energy out of you as you just never know where they might be coming from.
    it was sad and made me feel
    helpless .But I do think talking about the invisible cost of mental illness and raising awareness is a healthy step forward for all of us....
    anyone have a similar story?
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    Apr 06, 2013 5:28 PM GMT
    if you don't mind me asking, what mental illness did he have?

    but yes, mental illness can take a serious toll to the point where someone is so far gone that no form of treatment can bring them back to their normal self. icon_sad.gif sometimes, the people around them actually neglect them as well. the worst thing that could be done to a mental ill person is neglect. neglect kills more people than medication.
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    Apr 06, 2013 5:54 PM GMT
    Not sure on which mental illness he had or has-by his own admission it was severe depression, claimed he had a total breakdown a few years ago.Has been on anti depressants for some time but specifics I am not sure of.
    I agree neglect kills but trying to be friends with someone who will just drop you because of their own issues and run hot and cold over a period of years is too much.I am not skilled enough or have enough insight on what to do..and that's part of the reason I posted.
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    Apr 06, 2013 6:04 PM GMT
    Sounds like Bi-polar Disorder. My friend decided to walk out of her marriage and take her kids because she just got fed up with her husband's behaviour. Before she left him, though, she found herself waiting in a doctor's office and started browsing through a brochure on BPD. She instantly recognized that her husband displayed every symptom. She made him follow up, helped him get on and STAY on his medicine, and they are still married 10 years later.
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    Apr 06, 2013 9:23 PM GMT
    Having mental problems suck especially since I know I have some loose screws as well but all one can do is cope I suppose.