Difference between Gender Confusion and Same Sex Attraction

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2008 8:46 PM GMT
    I’m curious to find out what others think. Do you think there is a difference between same sex attraction, and gender identity, or rather transgender? And how do you feel towards it? I’m sincerely interested in hearing other’s opinion on this because I think this plays a huge part in the gay community.

    Sorry about the section of the title "gender confusion", not the right words. It's can't chang it now though, so I apologize.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 16, 2008 9:14 PM GMT
    There is a major difference. I don't think I should have been born a woman even though I find men attractive.

    There have been cases of transgendered individuals who are same sex oriented after their reassignment.
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    Oct 16, 2008 9:37 PM GMT
    Agreed. I think that they are two different types of genetic mutation. I think the reason that the T is with the LG in the LGBT is because the effects of homophobia and transphobia are so similar and linked in the eyes of bigots.
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    Oct 16, 2008 9:49 PM GMT
    I have no gender confusion. I am a man. I like being a man. I don't want to be anything else but a man. Being a woman is the last thing I would ever want.

    I also like other men. I like them a great deal, sexually and socially. But because it's popularly considered to be a female trait to like men, some people erroneously think I therefore have "gender confusion." [cue echo chamber]

    Nothing could be more mistaken. I am a very masculine man who likes other very masculine men. The "gender" between my legs wakes me up each morning, and I greet it with a smile and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

    The last thing I am is "confused."
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    Oct 16, 2008 9:56 PM GMT
    This is interesting, because I fall through the cracks on this one. There are times when, although I have no interest in being a transsexual or a shemale, I still would LOVE to have a pair of big, female, 38D tits! I'm perfectly happy with my body (okay, I could definately buff and rip myself out, but I mean I'm happy being a guy), but I would love to have a big pair of sex-tits, the kind that are straining to bust out of a spandex sports bra.

    But I don't think I'd ever go under the knife to do it. I have a lot of admiration for those who do, and I REALLY love sex with shemales (best of both worlds - big titties AND big cock) but I don't think it's in the cards for me this time around.

    Am I confused? I don't think so. I'm all man, but I enjoy wearing sarongs. Not just because they're sexy and a bit femme, but I like to look the way those buffed, hot, Polynesian men look in them. I'm sure I don't look as good as they do, but I have fun with it nonetheless. I've also been know to paint my toenails!

    Same thing when I wear my big "ghetto bitch" hoop earrings. Those Black girls look good with them, and when I wear my hair in cornrows (see pic, below) I like to wear those big hoops. A number of the Black men and women I know have all said that, in a strange way, I'm somehow able to pull it off. I call it my "Klingon/biker" look.

    mecornrowslwithhoop.jpg



  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Oct 17, 2008 1:01 AM GMT
    The way one feels about his or her gender is completely independent of his or her sexuality. A trans person can be straight, gay, bi, asexual, pansexual, two spirited, ANYTHING. And gay people are not usually "gender confused," most gay guys (as you have read already) identify as men (conform to a male gender role) but are attracted to men. The term "gender confusion" is problematic, too, because trans people are not confused about their gender, they just don't feel like the gender that corresponds to their sex. That means that they could feel like the opposite gender, or no gender at all. They're not confused about it, non-trans people are!
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    Oct 17, 2008 1:03 AM GMT
    I think there's a huge difference. It's been tough coming to terms with my sexuality, but I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be gender confused. Those people are feel unnatural and uncomfortable with their bodies. I'm perfectly fine with my body.
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    Oct 17, 2008 1:10 AM GMT
    gender identity and sexual preference are not the same.

    gender identity is the way in which you express your true/internalized gender, despite the plumbing you were born with externally. the term "gender confusion" is demeaning: people born with one biological sex who identify as the opposite are not confused. they are transgender.

    sexual preference speaks to the attraction you feel toward people who are of the gender you prefer. many transgender individuals are thus heterosexual, because they identify as the gender opposite to their biological gender, yet feel sexual attraction to people of their own biological gender; however, there are pre- and post-operative homosexual transgender people.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2008 1:10 AM GMT
    gender identity and sexual preference are not the same.

    gender identity is the way in which you express your true/internalized gender, despite the plumbing you were born with externally. the term "gender confusion" is demeaning: people born with one biological sex who identify as the opposite are not confused. they are transgender.

    sexual preference speaks to the attraction you feel toward people who are of the gender you prefer. many transgender individuals are thus heterosexual, because they identify as the gender opposite to their biological gender, yet feel sexual attraction to people of their own biological gender; however, there are pre- and post-operative homosexual transgender people.
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    Oct 17, 2008 1:15 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidI have no gender confusion. I am a man. I like being a man. I don't want to be anything else but a man. Being a woman is the last thing I would ever want.

    I also like other men. I like them a great deal, sexually and socially. But because it's popularly considered to be a female trait to like men, some people erroneously think I therefore have "gender confusion." [cue echo chamber]

    Nothing could be more mistaken. I am a very masculine man who likes other very masculine men. The "gender" between my legs wakes me up each morning, and I greet it with a smile and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

    The last thing I am is "confused."


    I could not of put it better for myself.

    I second that.
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Oct 17, 2008 1:22 AM GMT
    Thy psychological/sociologial consensus is that they are two distinct phenomena.
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    Oct 17, 2008 1:50 AM GMT
    Delivis saidThy psychological/sociologial consensus is that they are two distinct phenomena.


    The ecological postmodernists would disagree.

    I'd say they are interrelated and not completely independent, because nothing truly is. Our notions of sex and gender, like so many things in this world, are conceptualized within dualistic frameworks without acknowledging how these are ideas are tied to our experience of our bodies. How we engender and sexualize our experience, on both the psychological and sociological level, all comes back to our own experience of our own bodies.
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    Oct 17, 2008 2:39 AM GMT
    I also think they're related, in certain individuals, regardless of what the psycho/whatever consensus thinks.
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    Oct 17, 2008 5:59 AM GMT
    Thanks for everyone's input. Though it's kind of embarrassing, I'll admit I had no idea of what transgender meant until now. And I apologize for using the phrase "gender confused", I wasn't the right way to put it and it was demeaning.

    I just met a few people, and even though they were guys, (nothing to be confused about), they had the mentality of girls. Not that that is wrong or bad at all, it just threw me off a bit.

    Oh and thanks bunjamon, I think you summed it up the best.