The Mystery Waiter.

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    Apr 08, 2013 8:00 AM GMT
    OK so last week I went to a restaurant with my mother. We were taken to our seats and a White/Caucasian gentlemen waiter(maybe 40s or 50s, hard to tell) helped us. The waiter made a joke with my mother while we were reading our menus as he wiped down the table behind me, right as he joked he pinched-squeezed my shoulder making a reference towards me about something we were ordering. It distracted me so much I literally can't tell you what I was even talking about. (I felt butterflies as they call it) From that point forward I got the feeling this guy was either touchy-feely or directly hitting on me. My mother seemed to be oblivious to it all. So anyways as the evening went on the waiter seemed to ignore us after we ordered and he served us our meal. There was a point when I needed something to go with my food and I couldn't even get his attention, as I kept trying to eye signal him to our table. We waited and waited. He then came by helping everyone around us except us as we both were looking directly at him and he simply didn't look at us at all. I started to get the feeling maybe hes too busy or even worse, maybe he was prejudice since we were the only black people there at the time, amongst families of white people. I brushed off that hunch thinking well maybe he is just a super-nice oblivious guy. But I felt an odd feeling still since he had squeezed my shoulder. Anyways after a long while he finally came and got our empty plates and made a sarcastic joke about me not liking the meal because my plate was super clean as he grinned at me. I smiled and joked back with him saying "Oh yeah it was so terrible". My mother chucked at us both. After this we waited even longer for our slip. We were sitting waiting for our slip receipt as he went to all the other tables except ours. We waited. And we waited.. And we waited. He walked by several times and did not even look our way. Eventually another waitress saw us looking around and came and gave us our slip. Then we got up to pay and walked and waited at the register. No one comes for a while. Then the guy comes from the back kind of rushing and smiling, and we pay him for our meal. I refused to look him in the face because I was feeling an odd vibe from this guy. Then suddenly out of the blue he goes and grabs a huge chocolate chip cookie from the bakery and bends over the counter reaching to me and hands it to me saying, "This is for you? and you can share with her if you like." I was taken by surprise and shocked. I immediately said "thank you" and my mother just said, "OK."and looked plain faced. Then we left.

    So based on this experience I had with this waiter. I was left wondering the whole night if he was hitting on me or not. Was he just making up for being rude? My mother was of course the "cock-block" if he were hitting on me, but he could have just been a nice straight guy being polite. I have zero gaydar and he completely gave me all kind of mixed signals the whole evening.

    Was this guy hitting on me? Or was it all in my imagination? Did he purposely delay with us or was he just too busy and forgot about us? And why in the hell did he pinch-squeeze my shoulder from behind me? I totally didn't see that coming!
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    Apr 08, 2013 9:07 AM GMT
    Dude I think he was hitting up - to coin a new phrase. He couldnt figure out how to take it to the next level and delayed things to figure it out. I cant believe a guy would go from that solicitious to ambivalence that way. I think he assumed you were inasmuch as a) you were with mom b) had no ring. Did you leave your number on the receipt? Has that ever worked for anyone?
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    Apr 08, 2013 9:25 AM GMT
    NJDewd saidDude I think he was hitting up - to coin a new phrase. He couldnt figure out how to take it to the next level and delayed things to figure it out. I cant believe a guy would go from that solicitious to ambivalence that way. I think he assumed you were inasmuch as a) you were with mom b) had no ring. Did you leave your number on the receipt? Has that ever worked for anyone?


    No I wasn't going to leave a number because of the mixed signals, plus moms being right there. And if I left my digits and he was a straight guy and just being friendly... then that would have been an odd and uncomfortable scene. But I guess he was hitting on me since I had the butterflies. I just was completely uncertain about the whole situation thinking it may have just been me.
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    Apr 08, 2013 9:35 AM GMT
    I understand, but two things. One, I know you could have slipped her the digits without her seeing. I usually leave it in the credit card holder. Two, if he was straight he just would have blown it off. Do you dine at that establishment frequently?
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    Apr 08, 2013 9:46 AM GMT
    NJDewd saidI understand, but two things. One, I know you could have slipped her the digits without her seeing. I usually leave it in the credit card holder. Two, if he was straight he just would have blown it off. Do you dine at that establishment frequently?


    Actually it was my mother's treat, so she got the slip as I stood next to her and I had no pen as she used the counter pen on a cord to sign.. If i wrote my digits it would have been bluntly obvious and awkward. We probably won't eat there again for another month. At this point it seems kind of like a lost cause. I mean what do I do? Walk in the restaurant alone looking for some waiter who supposedly hit on me to give him my number. Hey I could go buy a apple pie. That's a thought. At least my curiosity will be satisfied. But something about that sounds a bit desperate.
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    Apr 08, 2013 9:54 AM GMT
    OK I understand. Obviously you thought this guy was handsome and a possibility. There is no reason you cant go back alone - and perhaps he will see you and come over. Take a paper to read as I do as I know it can be awkward eating alone. I used to do it a lot when I was traveling alone on business. Or go buy that apple pie. Take some chances. Ask the early 20's waiter from Damon's in Fredericksburg VA about 5 years ago! icon_twisted.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 08, 2013 3:18 PM GMT
    The waiter sounds a bit flakey to me. It's interesting how we can get 'obsessive' about things like this. You know, can't stop thinking about it and wondering what it all meant if anything.

    I think going back alone and ordering pie or w/e is one way to check out the situation. Don't be surprised if he doesn't remember you at all. lol! Then again, he might see you and light up like a christmas tree.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 08, 2013 5:06 PM GMT
    He was hitting on you and he was extremely busy. Being a waiter is very hard work .. you would not realize all the crap you have to do for crappy pay.
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    Apr 08, 2013 8:20 PM GMT
    OK when and if I go back, icon_lol.gif I will post the results. Thanks.
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    Apr 08, 2013 8:33 PM GMT
    I would have looked at the waiter seductively and said thanks, while I licked and tongued the cookie. I'm sure he would have gotten the message.