Bi-curious guys who claim to be gay friendly but ' str8 ', and the effortless soft face...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2013 4:03 AM GMT
    despite the fact that i DONT wear makeup, crossdress, or talk like a woman, i have repeatedly gotten hit on by straight guys thinking i was a ' pretty lesbo '. but have gotten rejected by mainstream gays, but it seems I get the MOST response/action from bi-curious men, is this because my features are ' familiar ' to them in a effortless subtle way ? or because they like guys who are ' boyish looking ' that they feel they can dominate to make them feel like ' men ' ?

    i know this is a long post but i would like some advice on what to do/how to feel about this because its starting to frustrate me, bi guys can be hot but these closeted guys who keep gravitating to me are kinda limiting :/
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    Apr 09, 2013 4:08 AM GMT
    Well how do i get rid of the bi-curious guys and do you think it has anything to do with my appearance
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Apr 09, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    CopperDevil said
    despite the fact that i DONT wear makeup, crossdress, or talk like a woman, i have repeatedly gotten hit on by straight guys thinking i was a ' pretty lesbo '. but have gotten rejected by mainstream gays, but it seems I get the MOST response/action from bi-curious men, is this because my features are ' familiar ' to them in a effortless subtle way ?


    I think if you did do those things you wouldnt get the attention you are. I'm not sure exactly the motivation, but as a male commonly described as a "pretty" guy, I get similar attention for bi-curious males. My guess is something along what you said: their beauty ideals are constructed from images of women, but at the same time, the idea of the "flammer" or "drag queen" just seems too taboo maybe? As a compromise, they seek out the pretty male that still seems more like a guys guy.

    It's worth noting though that the bicurious guys have often hinted at preferring to bottom for me, so I don't know about the domination theory.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Apr 09, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    Well that very tight t-shirt certainly isn't helping you repel "lesbian"-hunters icon_lol.gif

    I have a similar problem... I'm very much attracted to guys/bottoms who look like me, but those guys all want to bottom for some big scruffy dude, and likewise I only get hit on by the big scruffy dudes, ugh.
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    Apr 09, 2013 4:20 AM GMT
    killercliche said
    CopperDevil said
    despite the fact that i DONT wear makeup, crossdress, or talk like a woman, i have repeatedly gotten hit on by straight guys thinking i was a ' pretty lesbo '. but have gotten rejected by mainstream gays, but it seems I get the MOST response/action from bi-curious men, is this because my features are ' familiar ' to them in a effortless subtle way ?


    I think if you did do those things you wouldnt get the attention you are. I'm not sure exactly the motivation, but as a male commonly described as a "pretty" guy, I get similar attention for bi-curious males. My guess is something along what you said: their beauty ideals are constructed from images of women, but at the same time, the idea of the "flammer" or "drag queen" just seems too taboo maybe? As a compromise, they seek out the pretty male that still seems more like a guys guy.

    It's worth noting though that the bicurious guys have often hinted at preferring to bottom for me, so I don't know about the domination theory.


    you understood my post icon_smile.gif thanx man
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    Apr 09, 2013 4:22 AM GMT
    highforthis saidWell that very tight t-shirt certainly isn't helping you repel "lesbian"-hunters icon_lol.gif

    I have a similar problem... I'm very much attracted to guys/bottoms who look like me, but those guys all want to bottom for some big scruffy dude, and likewise I only get hit on by the big scruffy dudes, ugh.



    lol, well i figured hopefully most guys would notice that i'm NOT a lesbo if i'm wearing a tight shirt lol, lesbians have boobs icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 09, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    It's that hair...omg !!..
    It's ..It's Magnificent !! icon_biggrin.gif


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    Apr 09, 2013 4:34 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    CopperDevil saidWell how do i get rid of the bi-curious guys and do you think it has anything to do with my appearance

    Ahh.

    Well how do i get rid of the bi-curious guys: "are you out? Because I'm no one's dirty little secret."

    ...do you think it has anything to do with my appearance: I'd suggest that it's the wrong question. Do you generally like the kind of guys you attract? Because if you're attracting 10 guys, even if half of them are bi, that's better than changing something and only attracting 1 guy who's guaranteed gay, imo.


    i guess you're right, thanx for the advice icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 09, 2013 4:36 AM GMT
    Well, maybe it is because they think of you as "pretty", but, are you really worried about guys hitting on you? You're not going to be able to control who hits on you and if they're bi-curious or not.

    Do you really refer to yourself as "Mullato"?
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    Apr 09, 2013 4:44 AM GMT
    Slim2010 saidWell, maybe it is because they think of you as "pretty", but, are you really worried about guys hitting on you? You're not going to be able to control who hits on you and if they're bi-curious or not.

    Do you really refer to yourself as "Mullato"?


    Depends on the setting, but often times yes, its not a term i'm ashamed of, if you broke down the history of all the racial terms invented in the Americas ( including the terms black and white ) alot of people would have problems with those too, thanx for the reply icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 09, 2013 4:58 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidIt's that hair...omg !!..
    It's ..It's Magnificent !! icon_biggrin.gif






    Thanx icon_smile.gif
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Apr 09, 2013 5:45 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidIt's that hair...omg !!..
    It's ..It's Magnificent !! icon_biggrin.gif




    I can't even imagine what it must look like in the real world.
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    Apr 09, 2013 6:05 AM GMT
    killercliche said
    Anocxu saidIt's that hair...omg !!..
    It's ..It's Magnificent !! icon_biggrin.gif




    I can't even imagine what it must look like in the real world.


    I'm imagining it looks awesome !!.. And he's extremely handsome !!

    ..I'd grow mine out ..but i'd look like this..

    tumblr_mbmptwxKnC1qi8jcb.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2013 6:15 AM GMT
    I'm sorry but I got entranced by your hair....

    I really hate you now!!

    tumblr_lz3k0k4T7t1r0ia88o1_500.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2013 6:15 AM GMT
    killercliche said
    CopperDevil said
    despite the fact that i DONT wear makeup, crossdress, or talk like a woman, i have repeatedly gotten hit on by straight guys thinking i was a ' pretty lesbo '. but have gotten rejected by mainstream gays, but it seems I get the MOST response/action from bi-curious men, is this because my features are ' familiar ' to them in a effortless subtle way ?


    I think if you did do those things you wouldnt get the attention you are. I'm not sure exactly the motivation, but as a male commonly described as a "pretty" guy, I get similar attention for bi-curious males. My guess is something along what you said: their beauty ideals are constructed from images of women, but at the same time, the idea of the "flammer" or "drag queen" just seems too taboo maybe? As a compromise, they seek out the pretty male that still seems more like a guys guy.

    It's worth noting though that the bicurious guys have often hinted at preferring to bottom for me, so I don't know about the domination theory.


    This.

    Btw, I can relate completely, OP... Well, apart from looking like a lesbo thing, but i guess i have some, what may be considered as 'pretty' features, and a masculine demeanour. I think this combo is what they must find so appealing.

    It's really lead me to believe over the years that hardly any, if any, men are 100% straight, its all down to the right features being present in another man that makes them attractive to them, and the very specific circumstance which enables or encourages them to act on these attractions.

    #DoubleEdgedSwordFustration
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    Apr 09, 2013 12:43 PM GMT
    thanx icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2013 1:05 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidSorry, what's the question? icon_confused.gif

    This.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 09, 2013 1:56 PM GMT
    icon_confused.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Apr 09, 2013 2:19 PM GMT
    ah thinks da boi beeez braggin'






    icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 09, 2013 3:13 PM GMT
    rnch saidah thinks da boi beeez braggin'






    >.gif
    uh NO, im just stating facts, it could only be prrecieved as ' bragging ' if i actually wanted closeted bi guys, to which i DONT, why would i want that ???? Do you want them ?
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Apr 09, 2013 3:25 PM GMT
    Yeah, I'd guess that it has something to do with an androgynous yet masculine look you've got going.
    On OkC I get a lot of "straight" guys hitting on me because (I'm making some guesses here) I'm openly bi, but "straight" enough that their identity is threatened less.

    In your case, you may straddle the line to be obviously not "straight" enough that people feel comfortable talking to you, but not so stereotypical that they feel threatened.

    Just guessing though.

    Still, not sure it's a bad thing. People get hit on by people they're not interested in. If no one's threatening you, nothing to worry about.

    Also: you're in the south: probably a lot more closet cases than you'd find in more lateral regions of the US.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Apr 09, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    Anocxu said
    killercliche said
    Anocxu saidIt's that hair...omg !!..
    It's ..It's Magnificent !! icon_biggrin.gif




    I can't even imagine what it must look like in the real world.


    I'm imagining it looks awesome !!.. And he's extremely handsome !!

    ..I'd grow mine out ..but i'd look like this..

    tumblr_mbmptwxKnC1qi8jcb.jpg


    That would still look pretty great! icon_smile.gif
    (Seriously: I'm so glad that people are beginning to get over the self/other-consciousness about kinky hair. So much more interesting hair out their these days : )
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2013 12:00 AM GMT
    neosyllogy saidYeah, I'd guess that it has something to do with an androgynous yet masculine look you've got going.
    On OkC I get a lot of "straight" guys hitting on me because (I'm making some guesses here) I'm openly bi, but "straight" enough that their identity is threatened less.

    In your case, you may straddle the line to be obviously not "straight" enough that people feel comfortable talking to you, but not so stereotypical that they feel threatened.

    Just guessing though.

    Still, not sure it's a bad thing. People get hit on by people they're not interested in. If no one's threatening you, nothing to worry about.

    Also: you're in the south: probably a lot more closet cases than you'd find in more lateral regions of the US.


    its also a military town, making matters worse icon_sad.gif
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Apr 10, 2013 12:07 AM GMT
    I look like a lesbatarian, WHERE ARE ALL MY STRAIGHT BOYS.

    I am getting NO dick over here, I think your theory is flawed.
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    Apr 10, 2013 12:09 AM GMT
    killercliche said
    CopperDevil said
    despite the fact that i DONT wear makeup, crossdress, or talk like a woman, i have repeatedly gotten hit on by straight guys thinking i was a ' pretty lesbo '. but have gotten rejected by mainstream gays, but it seems I get the MOST response/action from bi-curious men, is this because my features are ' familiar ' to them in a effortless subtle way ?


    I think if you did do those things you wouldnt get the attention you are. I'm not sure exactly the motivation, but as a male commonly described as a "pretty" guy, I get similar attention for bi-curious males. My guess is something along what you said: their beauty ideals are constructed from images of women, but at the same time, the idea of the "flammer" or "drag queen" just seems too taboo maybe? As a compromise, they seek out the pretty male that still seems more like a guys guy.

    It's worth noting though that the bicurious guys have often hinted at preferring to bottom for me, so I don't know about the domination theory.


    Lots of straight guys love to have their prostate banged on. It feels neato.