Race thread cherry-picking

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2013 3:42 AM GMT
    I'm not against race threads, in fact I enjoy them a lot if they prompt meaningful intellectual discussion, but I think the most frustrating threads are those in which a lone person asks about the racial dynamics between two groups in a very simplistic way.

    I.e "do ___guys like ___ guys?" or "are ___guys attracted to ___guys?"

    I never understood precisely why there were so many threads like this, but I think I'm beginning to figure it out.

    If you are into n guys but you feel like many or most don't want you because of your race, it actually makes logical sense to create a thread flat out asking who is willing to date men of your race.

    Facing discrimination that you know is racial is exhausting. Rather than put yourself out there over and over again looking for the few guys of n race who will accept you, it's much easier to have them all consolidated in one thread where they have stated their open-mindedness.

    It's the difference between manually looking for a needle in a haystack, and taking a leaf blower and blowing away all the hay. While I will admit it's pretty annoying, I understand the motivation.

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    Apr 10, 2013 3:54 AM GMT
    it's basically someone admitting that they're insecure about finding somebody. that's what it really is. they don't think that they're desirable for some reason. them saying are _____________ guys attracted to __________ guys is just basically them saying are there guys outthere that are attracted to me? they basically have self esteem issues. it's also a self hatred thing too because it implies that because they have a certain characteristic such as ethnicity or skin color or height or whatever, that it's inferior to such and such so they're not worthy of that person that they feel are superior because they have such characteristic. that's why i get disgusted with those type of threads where you'll see an asian or a black guy saying "do white guys like asians?" "do white guys like blacks?" they're implying that because they're asian or black, they're inferior to white people or white people are better than everybody. it's disturbing.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 10, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    O__O saidI never understood precisely why there were so many threads like this, but I think I'm beginning to figure it out.

    It took you over 5,500 posts to figure that out??!! icon_eek.gif I seriously think I got that one the first day I was here. icon_confused.gif
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    Apr 10, 2013 3:59 AM GMT
    scaredmidget saidit's basically someone admitting that they're insecure about finding somebody. that's what it really is. they don't think that they're desirable. them saying are _____________ guys attracted to __________ guys is just basically them saying are there guys outthere that are attracted to me? they basically have self esteem issues.



    I disagree. I personally know that I can appeal to a lot of guys, but not Asians. I have no problem going up to a white guy or a black guy and saying "you're hot" or "I like you" or whatever. But my experience with Asian guys has been that there is such a strong general aversion to dating non-white and more specifically black guys, that I should go in understanding the reality so I don't get my feelings hurt.

    That's not a reflection on my self-esteem, it's a reflection of my experiences. I don't date Asian men exclusively, but I do like them a lot, so why would I not want to consolidate all of the men who were open to black men in one place? Rather than swim through a sea of Asian dudes who were too busy chasing after white men to give me the time of day. You can think efficiently and still have very high self esteem.
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    Apr 10, 2013 4:08 AM GMT
    O__O said
    scaredmidget saidit's basically someone admitting that they're insecure about finding somebody. that's what it really is. they don't think that they're desirable. them saying are _____________ guys attracted to __________ guys is just basically them saying are there guys outthere that are attracted to me? they basically have self esteem issues.



    I disagree. I personally know that I can appeal to a lot of guys, but not Asians. I have no problem going up to a white guy or a black guy and saying "you're hot" or "I like you" or whatever. But my experience with Asian guys has been that there is such a strong general aversion to dating non-white and more specifically black guys, that I should go in understanding the reality so I don't get my feelings hurt.

    That's not a reflection on my self-esteem, it's a reflection of my experiences. I don't date Asian men exclusively, but I do like them a lot, so why would I not want to consolidate all of the men who were open to black men in one place? Rather than swim through a sea of Asian dudes who were too busy chasing after white men to give me the time of day. You can think efficiently and still have very high self esteem.




    you cannot generalize a whole group of people just based off your experience off of one or two people from that group. you did it twice actually. you really don't know how much guys outthere will appeal to you and you also don't know how many asian guys would date you or how many gay asian guys want to date white guys. that's your assumption based off of what you're seeing which is a small piece of the pie. you really don't know what the whole entire pie looks like because you don't know the type of guys that are outthere to begin with.

    you also made the mistake of assuming that your experience as a black man will reflect the same experiences for other black men as well. just because they rejected you doesn't mean that they don't like black guys. maybe they just don't like you. rejection is based off of many different reasons. you can only assume and assumptions are simply just assumptions until there's exact proof.

    and yes, it's a reflection of your self esteem because if it wasn't, you wouldn't let a couple of negative experiences with asian men make you give up on dating an asian guy. it's no different than you saying "i can't get a guy to save my life because 5 guys rejected me". 5 guys do NOT speak for the whole entire male population so you shouldn't just close your mind and say "that's it".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2013 10:56 PM GMT
    Its so hard being white icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2013 2:08 AM GMT
    O__O said
    scaredmidget saidit's basically someone admitting that they're insecure about finding somebody. that's what it really is. they don't think that they're desirable. them saying are _____________ guys attracted to __________ guys is just basically them saying are there guys outthere that are attracted to me? they basically have self esteem issues.



    I disagree. I personally know that I can appeal to a lot of guys, but not Asians. I have no problem going up to a white guy or a black guy and saying "you're hot" or "I like you" or whatever. But my experience with Asian guys has been that there is such a strong general aversion to dating non-white and more specifically black guys, that I should go in understanding the reality so I don't get my feelings hurt.

    That's not a reflection on my self-esteem, it's a reflection of my experiences. I don't date Asian men exclusively, but I do like them a lot, so why would I not want to consolidate all of the men who were open to black men in one place? Rather than swim through a sea of Asian dudes who were too busy chasing after white men to give me the time of day. You can think efficiently and still have very high self esteem.


    thats a fucking shame if you cant get the guys you want because of your race, you're hot
  • Jockasian703

    Posts: 73

    Apr 11, 2013 3:21 AM GMT
    Here in nova/dc, I see lots of asian guys dating black guys... Many interracial dating. It's just preference and can't blame anyone or generalize from bad experience. Best luck to you though:-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2013 3:37 AM GMT
    I wasn't the first reply in this thread, therefore I lost the race.

    Now I hate race threads! icon_mad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2013 5:23 PM GMT
    it pisses me too
    it just shows how low morale u have & zero confidence