Eye contact at the gym

  • CHD88

    Posts: 42

    Apr 11, 2013 8:24 AM GMT
    I have this thing where I make a lot of eye contact with guys at the gym... unintentionally. Even if I am really attracted to a guy, I'll make a conscious effort to NOT make eye contact, but I somehow always end up doing it. Multiple times. It usually only lasts for a brief moment and then I'll embarrassingly look away icon_redface.gif. Maybe it's the level of my gaze or part of my social awkwardness, but whatever the cause, I've always wondered what these, presumably straight, men think of it.

    Is this awkward eye contact a common, normal occurrence for everyone and so they probably think nothing of it? Or do you think the fact that I'm frequently making eye contact and suddenly turning away gives my sexuality away? My gut feeling is that most straight men are oblivious to these things and think nothing of it. If they were gay, however, I would guess that their gaydar would be going off.

    Any input?
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    Apr 11, 2013 8:32 AM GMT
    I hear you there.
    I prefer not to make eye contact also.
    I do not want gym buddies to figure that I'm gay.
    I do make eye contact as I come into the gym , just to say "hello" and acknoeledge them ,then no more looking.
    Sometime it's very hard not to keep looking.
  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Apr 11, 2013 9:08 AM GMT
    ha! I experience this a lot of late! on the bus or street! girls and boys, young and old! it's not that I am trying to make an eye contact but I sense that someone is staring at me and when I turn my head, there they are looking at me and our eyes are met! awkward!
    I don't know why but this happens a lot lately and I am like ''do I look funny? or do I have something on my face? icon_cry.gif
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Apr 11, 2013 9:47 AM GMT
    Inadvertent contact happens all the time and is really thought nothing of, engage in a prolonged stare and that's a different story
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Apr 11, 2013 1:58 PM GMT
    I remember the day when making eye contact with people was encouraged, now it kind of seems frowned upon...
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 11, 2013 2:02 PM GMT
    Eye contact happens ... if you accidentally made eye contact with a woman would or do you react the same. Probably not. So next time you accidentally make eye contact think of the work 'woman', and you will soon make casual eye contact without acting like a nervous nellie. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 11, 2013 2:03 PM GMT
    CHD88 saidI have this thing where I make a lot of eye contact with guys at the gym... unintentionally. Even if I am really attracted to a guy, I'll make a conscious effort to NOT make eye contact, but I somehow always end up doing it. Multiple times. It usually only lasts for a brief moment and then I'll embarrassingly look away icon_redface.gif. Maybe it's the level of my gaze or part of my social awkwardness, but whatever the cause, I've always wondered what these, presumably straight, men think of it.

    Is this awkward eye contact a common, normal occurrence for everyone and so they probably think nothing of it? Or do you think the fact that I'm frequently making eye contact and suddenly turning away gives my sexuality away? My gut feeling is that most straight men are oblivious to these things and think nothing of it. If they were gay, however, I would guess that their gaydar would be going off.

    Any input?


    Yeah .... as I've said hundreds of times before, if you see someone of interest, cut the crap and go meet them. Works almost every time. If you get attitude over it then that means the subject of your interest is a homosexual.
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    Apr 11, 2013 2:06 PM GMT
    I have had this issue in the past. I used to do the same and look away as if I had bern caught doing something even if they initiated the stare down. These days I dont turn away, I wait it out until the look away in embarrasment. Sometimes it feels like a dominance thing and I ain't nobody's bitch. Guys in gyms stare, fact of life.
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    Apr 11, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    Just do this whenever someone makes eye contact and they will purposely avoid trying to make eye contact the next time they see you saving you the hassle of trying to avoid it yourself.
    the image
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    Apr 11, 2013 2:31 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree said

    Yeah .... as I've said hundreds of times before, if you see someone of interest, cut the crap and go meet them. Works almost every time. If you get attitude over it then that means the subject of your interest is a homosexual.


    ^^ this. ^^

    eye contact is normal. so is looking away. don't psyche yourself out. straight guys do it too. best thing to do is just nod and go about your business. if it happens again, just strike up a conversation.

    the gay thing is to get all worried about it, as if you're outing yourself. anyways, who cares? i go to a university gym, and we have gays and straights and no one cares, as long as you're not being a douchebag - e.g. talking on your phone while working out, or occupying a bench txting when there's people waiting for it.
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    Apr 11, 2013 2:42 PM GMT
    NerdMonastery saidJust do this whenever someone makes eye contact and they will purposely avoid trying to make eye contact the next time they see you saving you the hassle of trying to avoid it yourself.


    I try to make them laugh. I don't care if they laugh with me or at me .... just laugh and have a good time.

    True, I'm probably the friendliest most outgoing person in the gym and probably a bit of a goofball, but I think I've brought the gym along with me. I know just about everyone and now everyone I know knows just about everyone else and we simply have fun.
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    Apr 11, 2013 2:48 PM GMT
    If you dont act obvious they wont care,im good at it
  • gymaddict

    Posts: 8

    Apr 11, 2013 3:17 PM GMT
    Many gyms today have signs posted or visible on monitors. " It is in appropriate to stare at others who are working out."
    Too many of you guys use the gym for cruising. Most serious guys don't want to be bothered while working out. Making it obvious that you are cruising, doesn't make you more appealing.

    Go to the gym to work out and improve your body. Then go to places where your gawking is more appropriate.
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    Apr 11, 2013 3:18 PM GMT
    Eye contact is no big deal, IMO. I tends to be an indication of confidence. However, if you are making eye contact with the same person several times during one workout session, then you might be sending signals, whether you want to or not.
  • gymaddict

    Posts: 8

    Apr 11, 2013 3:20 PM GMT
    sorry, I meant, INAPPROPRIATE.
  • Niceguy91

    Posts: 27

    Apr 11, 2013 3:26 PM GMT
    There is one guy at my gym! HE IS SO FREAKING HAAAAAAAAWT! Its a problem, I even end my workout earlier sometimes cuz im affraid i will out myself by starring at him too much or maybe get excited so that it shows! I know how you feel icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 11, 2013 3:26 PM GMT
    jo2hotbod said Inadvertent contact happens all the time and is really thought nothing of, engage in a prolonged stare and that's a different story


    this +1
    Remember, this is a two way street. The other party is also making eye contact with YOU.
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    Apr 11, 2013 3:32 PM GMT
    I always make some awkward eye contact with guys at the gym... sometimes its me doing it and sometimes I catch someone looking at me
    but its really no big deal..
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    Apr 11, 2013 4:11 PM GMT
    NerdMonastery saidJust do this whenever someone makes eye contact and they will purposely avoid trying to make eye contact the next time they see you saving you the hassle of trying to avoid it yourself.
    the image


    hahaha!
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 11, 2013 4:18 PM GMT
    Ya, looking around during intervals is normal so don't sweat it. I think most guys at the gym are pretty proud of their bodies and don't mind being admired. The trick is to train yourself to not "embarrassingly look away." Just divert your eyes to someone else when they catch your gaze and act like it was nothing. Don't over-act, though.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 11, 2013 4:32 PM GMT
    Looks like you are getting some good input. I typically don't make eye contact unless... 1) You are talking to a friend you really know in the gym or 2) You approach a door and get startled by someone coming out the other way. I've noticed a lot of eye contact that way and being checked out.
    Kind of funny.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2013 5:48 PM GMT
    it's annoying though, since I started developing some real muscle, now even some straight guys start looking at me...
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    Apr 11, 2013 5:56 PM GMT
    OP, I think this falls under the category of "You're Thinking Too Hard About This." We're all human, we have eyes, and sometimes they make contact. If you want it to be more than that, you will, and if you don't, you won't.

    Relax. Be yourself.
  • BlackRussian1...

    Posts: 323

    Apr 11, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    I make eye contact with people (male and female) at the gym all the time, or just in general. How bizarre to pretend to not see someone but see them...I hate when gay men (especially) do this. To look someone in the eyes takes confidence and I prefer that in people to the timid approach.

    Anyway, to the OP just relax that snatch girl.
  • CHD88

    Posts: 42

    Apr 11, 2013 6:07 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advice. Yea, overall I'm just over thinking things...which started when I first came out the closet. Since then I've just been overly conscious of my male/male interactions, both platonic and romantic. My social anxiety doesn't help either.

    I just need to learn to chill...it probably makes the situation worse when I worry about the eye contact, not so much the contact itself. Still, it's difficult when your looking into the eyes. of a gorgeous man lol