It really is that time of year, and seeing as last night was mine, it really got me thinking. I went with one of my best friends and had a great time, but couldn't help but feel that things weren't right. While everyone had a great time, I couldn't help but notice all the couples having fun with one and another and slightly feel a bit deprived from the whole high school experience. So my question to the Real Jock community is that do you think we'll see in our lifetimes it to be as normal to walk hand in hand with your boyfriend into prom, as it is with being a heterosexual couple. Especially in states such as where I live, which is North Carolina.
cuteyoungrunner saidSo my question to the Real Jock community is that do you think we'll see in our lifetimes it to be as normal to walk hand in hand with your boyfriend into prom, as it is with being a heterosexual couple. Especially in states such as where I live, which is North Carolina.
Likely not in most parts of US Red States for a long time. And so the clock on my own lifetime is running out, that I will ever see such things widely accepted.
But there used to be an annual Spring gay event in Seattle, called "The Prom You Never Had". It was all at once silly, poignant, and in some ways heartbreaking. It was the best we could do.
So what are you doing for your own prom? Is it coming up? Or already happened?
When I was in high school, it would have been difficult to imagine that one day we'd have human rights including marriage. Marriage for gay people first came to the Supreme Court in my freshman year. Forty-two years later we still await their decision. We weren't even yet declared psychologically normal until my sophomore year. With all the work that's already been done and with the technology of today's communication, we seem to be witnessing accelerated progress so maybe you won't have to wait another 40 years before you can hold your partner's hand in public, even in North Carolina. Or that might never change much in some areas of the country. Only time will tell.
That you are able to question when you might be seen as normal is a good sign. That you care what others think of your loving is something you might work on. Also, str8 people at the prom who didn't have a date probably felt the same sense that things weren't quite right in an institution that glorifies coupling at the risk of damaging an individual's sense of self-contained self worth. When we are not coupled at a party for couples, when we are the fifth wheel, being gay can amplify the sense of being alone as we project one onto the other.
Art-DecoSo what are you doing for your own prom? Is it coming up? Or already happened?
It happened last night, and I'm pretty slow to get out of bed right now haha. Our group ate at a nice restaurant, took a limo to downtown Charlotte and danced for a good 3 hours at a really nice place, got back into the limo and went midnight bowling in all neon, and topped it off with waffle house at 3am. Not the most eventful prom, but everyone loved it and we did it without getting arrested...which I can't say for all people at my school haha.
"Normal," may be a stretch--not uncommon would be more appropriate even in your state, as there already are same sex couples attending proms or creating their own prom. This is coming from a person that celebrated the induction of DADT--celebrated hard, never believing it would get better than that.
I don't think it necessarily depends on where you are. I went to high school in Kansas, and we had more than one same sex couple attend for both my junior and senior years. My freshman year we had a transexual bring her boyfriend. Nobody really ever made a big deal of any of it.
I was NOT "out" in HS and always a "fringe" person that was accepted by other groups because I could tutor them... We did not have ANY samesex couples, hell nobody was even allowed to be OUT, and stay in the HS....they were shipped off to the "ALTERNATIVE HS"...I do not remember much of my prom.....I do remember the girl I went with to it, I still have pictures from it. I remember that we were not allowed to use our first choice for theme song....Which was Led Zeppelin "Stairway To Heaven", but ended up with some drivel..... "Do you know where you're going to", by Dianna Ross... we hated it!
It was an expensive, less than memorable, anachronism that our parents seemed more interested in, than we were. We did a midnight lock-in at a bowling ally...and proceeded to just get stoned out of our minds!....I didn't drink at all, but their was a spiked punch and several spiked watermelons or other fruits....it was catered as a summer picnic....Doors were unlocked at 7 am. and we had city cops as security so nobody was driving drunk......the drinking age was 18 then. Limos were not the popular thing then...... I think the best HS dance I went to was the year before, in my Jr. year, for homecoming we had a local band that went on to hit it big internationally...under a different name....led by a girl from my school class....Chrissy Hynde ....after she had moved to England and formed a different band called THE PRETENDERS....
Also had DEVO play at an earlier different HS Dance.... I think Proms are an historic holdover from a bygone age, that are more important to parents than to students....it is some sort of chronological marker in the school year that every generation seems able to tie to....I think they are OK, but trying to make them into the single culminating party of your primary education is a bit much......and as more kids are home schooled or online schooled or just get a GED....the significance is not there... I doubt that this paradigm change will happen in my lifetime, but would expect it in my son's lifetime. My youngest son , turned 18 3 weeks ago and is a Senior in HS....so all of this is happening for him too....he is not going to prom....but will go to the afterparty....a video game play-a-thon....LOL! hell he does that now!
I'm going to say yes. I think that attitudes are changing. I think what has changed my mind is this red equal sign pic movement on facebook. I am completely surprised to see the support of people that I would never have expected.
I am from the southern U.S. in the middle of the Bible Belt - filled with very religious family and friends. Seeing their attitudes changing gives me hope.
Don't listen to the negative people on this forum. Societies mindset has changed dramatically in the past 30 years and it continues to change constantly. It may take more time than we would like but eventually being gay will be considered by society as being just as normal as being gay. We're already starting to see this happen and it is about time. There is nothing abnormal about being gay. Unfortunately some gay people still don't feel that way and they choose to think society will never change, however it will and it has.
Even here in super liberal Connecticut where gays are loved when you walk hand in hand with a guy it is still a spectacle. Everyone might be smiling and winking but you are still attracting attention for doing some abnormal.
I think we have a long ways to go before people stop considering you a gay couple as opposed to just a couple.
@ ACT. Up here in liberal Canada,where gay marriage has been legal for the last ten years and society has not gone to hell like the detractors predicted, I still do a double-take when I see two guys holding hands. Not because it's so astonishing, but because it's so normal. I love my country for accepting us, and I hope you all feel the same love soon.
barriehomeboy said@ ACT. Up here in liberal Canada,where gay marriage has been legal for the last ten years and society has not gone to hell like the detractors predicted, I still do a double-take when I see two guys holding hands. Not because it's so astonishing, but because it's so normal. I love my country for accepting us, and I hope you all feel the same love soon.
My only experience with Canada is Montreal where gays still attract notice. It isn't negative attention, but still attention normally not paid for regular male-female couples or groups.
I skipped my senior prom. I didn't know a girl to ask, had never been on a date in my life, no girlfriends, no interest in girls at all. My parents were more upset by my staying home than I was, but I certainly wasn't willing to attend alone. I couldn't dance, wasn't going to stand around the dance floor like a goof.
The idea of taking a guy wasn't something that anyone could have imagined in 1967. And it certainly never occurred to me, since I just assumed I was a straight guy who lacked any sex drive, sorta asexual.