Who else wants to watch their Grandmother gasp for life in a hospital bed?

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    Apr 14, 2013 10:06 PM GMT
    Is your family the kind that seems disingenuous? Perhaps. My Grandmother thinks she can pick and choose when to use morals, and actually be considered human. It makes me sick. And on that day when she's gasping for life, she will face not heaven, but hell.


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    Apr 14, 2013 10:12 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif Wow.
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    Apr 14, 2013 11:57 PM GMT
    tumblr_m3cy2cKKKR1r76cts.gif

    ........Uhhhhhh...........I actually love my grandmother to pieces so no thank you? icon_confused.gif
  • brendanmuscle...

    Posts: 593

    Apr 14, 2013 11:58 PM GMT
    what did she do to you?
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    Apr 15, 2013 12:14 AM GMT
    brendanmuscles saidwhat did she do to you?
    Hopefully tore off his head and shit down his throat.
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    Apr 15, 2013 12:16 AM GMT
    details to why you feel this way about your grandmom for?
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    Apr 15, 2013 12:28 AM GMT
    How about you just sing this song

    Skip, skip, skip to my Lou, (3x)
    Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

    tumblr_ml0zyn16qV1s63up6o1_500.gif



    Shouldn't speak ill about your grandmother. Even if she may seem in the wrong.

    All you can say is that may she recognize any wrongs in her life so that she may rest peacefully.


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    Apr 15, 2013 2:20 AM GMT
    No one can hurt you more than someone who you thought loved you.

    I had an evil step-grandmother who, unless eternity is over, I expect must still be rotting in hell right about now. And a cousin who'll be joining her soon enough. They can both go fuck themselves.

    I never thought I'd feel that way about anyone. But people will surprise you, both for the good and for the bad.
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    Apr 15, 2013 2:23 AM GMT
    Unintended saidWhat's in the cat is in the kittens...


    Huh?
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Apr 15, 2013 2:24 AM GMT
    Erik101 said
    Unintended saidWhat's in the cat is in the kittens...

    Huh?

    The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
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    Apr 15, 2013 2:40 AM GMT
    theantijock saidNo one can hurt you more than someone who you thought loved you.

    I had an evil step-grandmother who, unless eternity is over, I expect must still be rotting in hell right about now. And a cousin who'll be joining her soon enough. They can both go fuck themselves.

    I never thought I'd feel that way about anyone. But people will surprise you, both for the good and for the bad.


    i feel you, man. sometimes, family can be beyond fucked up to the point where you're forced to chose whether you love them or don't want anything to do with them. you know, it hurts when you have someone in your own family such as a mother or a father or a grandmother that is fucked up and you have that unconditional love for them. icon_cry.gif they are who they are and sometimes, in order to pay them back, you have to basically be a better person by not doing what THEY did. i love my father. he's a fucked up person and has done things in the past that i didn't think was right at all but i still love him. however, i also am aware of his nature where i have to watch my back around him where i can't completely trust him. sometimes, you have to distance yourself from someone for your sake and you have to take a page from their back on how not to be the same way they are.

    but on the other hand, there's some folks outthere that aren't related to me that i really have a hard time of letting grudges go with from the past for some shit they've done to me. i don't like them to this day. in fact, i would like to say that they've actually helped me become the way that i am. bitchmade bullies that were fucking assholes to me. i especially hate the adults that tried to take their hate out of me as a kid. i don't wish death on them BUT fuck them.
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    Apr 15, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    My grandparents have been dead and gone for many years....and I had to watch as medical science kept them alive against their stated wishes.....because according to the laws, life of any quality is too precious to let go....I didn't believe it then, and certainly not now....especially after having watched my dad die of pancreatic cancer......it is inhumane to force the dieing to suffer,but illegal to help them end their suffering in most US states, but ok for the government to kill as punishment after keeping the criminal in prison for many years, and even forcing them to not commit suicide, only to be killed by the state.......... fuck religion on this topic, separation of religion from government........If it is my life and I have committed no crimes, why are we not allowed to decide when the quality of life is no longer tolerable?
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    Apr 15, 2013 3:39 AM GMT
    scaredmidget said
    theantijock saidNo one can hurt you more than someone who you thought loved you.

    I had an evil step-grandmother who, unless eternity is over, I expect must still be rotting in hell right about now. And a cousin who'll be joining her soon enough. They can both go fuck themselves.

    I never thought I'd feel that way about anyone. But people will surprise you, both for the good and for the bad.


    i feel you, man. sometimes, family can be beyond fucked up to the point where you're forced to chose whether you love them or don't want anything to do with them. you know, it hurts when you have someone in your own family such as a mother or a father or a grandmother that is fucked up and you have that unconditional love for them. icon_cry.gif they are who they are and sometimes, in order to pay them back, you have to basically be a better person by not doing what THEY did. i love my father. he's a fucked up person and has done things in the past that i didn't think was right at all but i still love him. however, i also am aware of his nature where i have to watch my back around him where i can't completely trust him. sometimes, you have to distance yourself from someone for your sake and you have to take a page from their back on how not to be the same way they are.

    but on the other hand, there's some folks outthere that aren't related to me that i really have a hard time of letting grudges go with from the past for some shit they've done to me. i don't like them to this day. in fact, i would like to say that they've actually helped me become the way that i am. bitchmade bullies that were fucking assholes to me. i especially hate the adults that tried to take their hate out of me as a kid. i don't wish death on them BUT fuck them.


    I think you're the poster who did a concurrent thread on confidence. I just skimmed it quick and it seemed you were getting some good input so I just clicked out without comment. But some of what you're saying here seems to tie into that.

    Regardless of the influences around you, you are still you. Confidence then is taking ownership of yourself. I've never been bullied--well, some RJ creeps gave it their lamest try, but not in real time, it just doesn't happen--but I have been betrayed by people dear to me, after all, who else has that access.

    I have to learn better how to live my life with this pain they inflicted. As you note I can't stop loving them, but also I can't allow them to hurt me again. Yet it is their nature to hurt those they supposedly love or at least those they've identified as loving them. I'm not even sure if they're capable of loving others.

    But that doesn't mean we can stop being the person we are. You'll still feel about them as you do because that's who you are. Careful, they know that.

    I don't know your situation but from what little you've said here your dad may have some sort of disorder or part thereby, rendering him to whatever degree incapable or unlikely of a normal, healthy relationship with you, even if he might otherwise want that. While that may have had some effect on you growing up, you were always responsible for how you reacted to him. Even if your relationship with him set up certain patterns which might have fed into your being bullied by outsiders, you were always part of that equation.

    Now I'm not getting into any kind of blame the victim shit and you shouldn't either, because regardless of ourselves, no one has the right to bully, But sometimes, even when we're being influenced, that influence is merely playing upon aspects of ourselves there already. It isn't necessarily that someone made a change in you, but it could be they played something they saw in you.

    What my cousin saw was that I loved her and that I was always willing to forgive an forget when she fucked me, until she finally took that way too far. My forgiveness was not her permission to fuck me again and again and again.

    You need to surprise yourself. You need to take ownership of your reactions to the actions of others. That's where you will find your confidence. You'll still hurt. Confidence doesn't end the pain. But you'll know where it hurts. Be brave and look there.
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    Apr 15, 2013 4:17 AM GMT
    theantijock said
    scaredmidget said
    theantijock saidNo one can hurt you more than someone who you thought loved you.

    I had an evil step-grandmother who, unless eternity is over, I expect must still be rotting in hell right about now. And a cousin who'll be joining her soon enough. They can both go fuck themselves.

    I never thought I'd feel that way about anyone. But people will surprise you, both for the good and for the bad.


    i feel you, man. sometimes, family can be beyond fucked up to the point where you're forced to chose whether you love them or don't want anything to do with them. you know, it hurts when you have someone in your own family such as a mother or a father or a grandmother that is fucked up and you have that unconditional love for them. icon_cry.gif they are who they are and sometimes, in order to pay them back, you have to basically be a better person by not doing what THEY did. i love my father. he's a fucked up person and has done things in the past that i didn't think was right at all but i still love him. however, i also am aware of his nature where i have to watch my back around him where i can't completely trust him. sometimes, you have to distance yourself from someone for your sake and you have to take a page from their back on how not to be the same way they are.

    but on the other hand, there's some folks outthere that aren't related to me that i really have a hard time of letting grudges go with from the past for some shit they've done to me. i don't like them to this day. in fact, i would like to say that they've actually helped me become the way that i am. bitchmade bullies that were fucking assholes to me. i especially hate the adults that tried to take their hate out of me as a kid. i don't wish death on them BUT fuck them.


    I think you're the poster who did a concurrent thread on confidence. I just skimmed it quick and it seemed you were getting some good input so I just clicked out without comment. But some of what you're saying here seems to tie into that.

    Regardless of the influences around you, you are still you. Confidence then is taking ownership of yourself. I've never been bullied--well, some RJ creeps gave it their lamest try, but not in real time, it just doesn't happen--but I have been betrayed by people dear to me, after all, who else has that access.

    I have to learn better how to live my life with this pain they inflicted. As you note I can't stop loving them, but also I can't allow them to hurt me again. Yet it is their nature to hurt those they supposedly love or at least those they've identified as loving them. I'm not even sure if they're capable of loving others.

    But that doesn't mean we can stop being the person we are. You'll still feel about them as you do because that's who you are. Careful, they know that.

    I don't know your situation but from what little you've said here your dad may have some sort of disorder or part thereby, rendering him to whatever degree incapable or unlikely of a normal, healthy relationship with you, even if he might otherwise want that. While that may have had some effect on you growing up, you were always responsible for how you reacted to him. Even if your relationship with him set up certain patterns which might have fed into your being bullied by outsiders, you were always part of that equation.

    Now I'm not getting into any kind of blame the victim shit and you shouldn't either, because regardless of ourselves, no one has the right to bully, But sometimes, even when we're being influenced, that influence is merely playing upon aspects of ourselves there already. It isn't necessarily that someone made a change in you, but it could be they played something they saw in you.

    What my cousin saw was that I loved her and that I was always willing to forgive an forget when she fucked me, until she finally took that way too far. My forgiveness was not her permission to fuck me again and again and again.

    You need to surprise yourself. You need to take ownership of your reactions to the actions of others. That's where you will find your confidence. You'll still hurt. Confidence doesn't end the pain. But you'll know where it hurts. Be brave and look there.


    yeah, i did make that thread on confidence and some of that does have to do with my father. my father has always been there as in he lived in the same household as i did along with my mother that he's married to and my brother. he wasn't an active participant in my life for the most part. you can say that my mom played both the mother and the father where my father simply just would go to work, disappear for the entire day and sometimes not come home at all. he pretty much manipulated, used and abused my mom and did the same bullshit to us. when he decided to play the "role" of a father when i was a teenager, he was just a controlling asshole that tried to bully me around. it was hard to tell if he was geniune whenever he was nice because there was always a motive behind his actions. i dunno and i'm not a psychiatrist or a shrink but his behavior seems to be either that of a narcissist or a sociopath. to this day, i don't feel comfortable around him because i've seen how screwed up he is. he scares me. i fear for my life around the dude because he's that warped. one minute, he's all nice to me and the next minute, he's all ready to spaz out and act like a bully. he make me feel very uncomfortable being around him. i love him because he's my father but i'd lie to you if i say i wasn't angry with him because i feel that he doesn't give a fuck about me or anybody besides himself.

    as for bullies, i started to have bullies when i was in the kindergarten where some of the kids would basically assault me, beat me up and etc. i dunno what it was but at the time, i was in special ed for speech issues that i was getting cleared up. i guess me getting off of the short bus made them go like "he's retarded, let's fuck him up". there were adults that participated in the bullying as well as my teacher embarrassed me where she would hit me where she would read out the math problems that i got wrong. i never learned my math because i would get shuffled to special ed in the morning. when i didn't give the right answer, she would hit me with a ruler in front of everybody. it left me with a negative impression of other people. then i had bullies in my neighborhood where they gave me a hard time as a kid growing up. it was like i couldn't do anything right to win with the other kids so i was like fuck it. to make it worse, sometimes once again, the adults would participate like how my neighbor's mother across the street did where she sent her son that was picking fights with me for no reason to beat me up. the friendship with my childhood friends ended when they decided to turn on me and that was that. after some years of being made to feel like i was an outcast, i just gave up on people where i just been paranoid about everyone. sure i have friends that i've made but i'm scared that they will turn on me as i'm used to having that shit happen. nowadays, i expect the worst from others because that's what i've been used to experiencing my whole life. i wasn't abused by parents but at the same time, they couldn't shelter me from the assholes out here that i had to deal with.

    and you're right about how some people take advantage of others because like what you said with your cousin, you try to reach out and forgive folks. try to extend your hand to them, you try to let bygones by bygones and they disappoint and hurt you. that's the story with my father.

    all those experiences has actually made me into an angry, paranoid person though where sometimes, i'm like ready to go off on someone if i
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    Apr 15, 2013 2:13 PM GMT
    scaredmidget saidyeah, i did make that thread on confidence and some of that does have to do with my father. my father has always been there as in he lived in the same household as i did along with my mother that he's married to and my brother. he wasn't an active participant in my life for the most part. you can say that my mom played both the mother and the father where my father simply just would go to work, disappear for the entire day and sometimes not come home at all. he pretty much manipulated, used and abused my mom and did the same bullshit to us. when he decided to play the "role" of a father when i was a teenager, he was just a controlling asshole that tried to bully me around. it was hard to tell if he was geniune whenever he was nice because there was always a motive behind his actions. i dunno and i'm not a psychiatrist or a shrink but his behavior seems to be either that of a narcissist or a sociopath. to this day, i don't feel comfortable around him because i've seen how screwed up he is. he scares me. i fear for my life around the dude because he's that warped. one minute, he's all nice to me and the next minute, he's all ready to spaz out and act like a bully. he make me feel very uncomfortable being around him. i love him because he's my father but i'd lie to you if i say i wasn't angry with him because i feel that he doesn't give a fuck about me or anybody besides himself.

    as for bullies, i started to have bullies when i was in the kindergarten where some of the kids would basically assault me, beat me up and etc. i dunno what it was but at the time, i was in special ed for speech issues that i was getting cleared up. i guess me getting off of the short bus made them go like "he's retarded, let's fuck him up". there were adults that participated in the bullying as well as my teacher embarrassed me where she would hit me where she would read out the math problems that i got wrong. i never learned my math because i would get shuffled to special ed in the morning. when i didn't give the right answer, she would hit me with a ruler in front of everybody. it left me with a negative impression of other people. then i had bullies in my neighborhood where they gave me a hard time as a kid growing up. it was like i couldn't do anything right to win with the other kids so i was like fuck it. to make it worse, sometimes once again, the adults would participate like how my neighbor's mother across the street did where she sent her son that was picking fights with me for no reason to beat me up. the friendship with my childhood friends ended when they decided to turn on me and that was that. after some years of being made to feel like i was an outcast, i just gave up on people where i just been paranoid about everyone. sure i have friends that i've made but i'm scared that they will turn on me as i'm used to having that shit happen. nowadays, i expect the worst from others because that's what i've been used to experiencing my whole life. i wasn't abused by parents but at the same time, they couldn't shelter me from the assholes out here that i had to deal with.

    and you're right about how some people take advantage of others because like what you said with your cousin, you try to reach out and forgive folks. try to extend your hand to them, you try to let bygones by bygones and they disappoint and hurt you. that's the story with my father.

    all those experiences has actually made me into an angry, paranoid person though where sometimes, i'm like ready to go off on someone if i


    Oh crap, you type as much as myself. At least we don't have to worry about anyone with attention deficit disorder eavesdropping our TLDRs.

    You've had it rough, no doubt. Sorry for you. I never had trust issues for all my life until I hit my 50s when two of my closest friends betrayed me. One was a friend for 20 years and the other for my whole life. It remains beyond my comprehension how they were so mean to me. Their depravity horrifies me so much that I somewhat don't want to understand it and I'm a very curious about life type of guy who's never said that about anything else, well, accept for anal sex, that grosses me out too (in a nonjudgmental way, of course).

    I had a friend of five years betray me back in my 30s and another in my 40s but for some reason those didn't make me lose faith in people. I guess I had a large reserve of the stuff because I did have an unusually loving childhood and I know I was lucky in that: I never take it for granted. I totally feel for anyone who didn't have that.

    I might but I doubt I'll ever be as free in trusting people as I used to be but I am working on that. I do still click onto ignore anyone who even slightly slights me. I can still be kidded with but be mean to me and I'll have nothing to do with that person. In real time I'm working on making new friends again, a task especially complicated by my age as it is easier to befriend people when we are younger. Fortunately for me I made many friends along the way and I've maintained lifelong friendships. But even with that, the problem with aging is that your friends die. So you have to make new ones.

    You would do well to read that guy confidentcrip, I think is his screenname. Check out his vid in Josh's voice thread where he says "This is my life." We not just have to own but our own lives are the only things that we really ever own. Everything else is on lease including friendships, loves and material possessions, all of it.

    You are not what your father did to you but there may be something about you which allowed him to have so much influence over your development. I'd look for that. It isn't a matter of blame (of neither him nor you) but of understanding. I say this because of how I view my brother and myself. We were both raised by the same wonderful parents who were very conscious about treating us with the same love and respect. They were humanists and that was their way. Yet we turned out, at least in our younger years to be very different people. So it wasn't just what we experienced, rather it was who we already were which determined how we experienced what we experienced.

    We often have no control over what happens to us in life and probably at least some of what we think we control is nothing but an illusion. I've a small suspicion that all of life is a tad more powerful than the individual. But we do get at least some measure of control over how we experience what we experience. It is both our source of freedom and our place of struggle.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 15, 2013 4:36 PM GMT
    For me it was my dad and a brother in law who was 17 years older than I. My dad was an emotionally disturbed man. He wasn't physically abusive but he was emotionally abusive. My brother in law did everything in his power to come between my dad and I, turning him against me at every opportunity. Given my dad's emotional state, that wasn't difficult.

    I did reconcile with my dad just before he died. It was a good thing and has made a big difference in my life. However, as for my brother in law, also now diseased, all I can say is good riddance.

    I know what you mean OP about selective morality, though. Both my older sisters are like that. I have as little to do with them as possible. I don't wish them ill but I don't want them or their sickness in my life.
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    Jun 05, 2013 4:56 AM GMT
    I do not have sympathy for people who make the World seem redundant.

    Fivealive saidHow about you just sing this song

    Skip, skip, skip to my Lou, (3x)
    Skip to my Lou, my darlin'.

    tumblr_ml0zyn16qV1s63up6o1_500.gif



    Shouldn't speak ill about your grandmother. Even if she may seem in the wrong.

    All you can say is that may she recognize any wrongs in her life so that she may rest peacefully.