kevmoran saidHow would you react/ How should I know they're not interested?
First of all, there is no such thing as "out of your league." You should never assume someone is too good for you. Before I came out, I worried about that. Within two weeks after coming out, I discovered that guys I thought wouldn't look twice at me found me very attractive. You never know what somebody else is looking for. No matter what you think are your shortcomings, someone wants exactly what you have to offer. You will soon learn that guys who think they
are out of your league are not worth knowing.
When I approach a guy, he's usually pretty amazing. So, just to be polite, I leave my message open-ended. If he wants to continue the conversation, the opportunity is there. If he doesn't, I make sure my message could be interpreted as the end of the conversation. Does that make sense? Here's a fictitious example of what I mean:
"Hey, buddy. I've never seen anyone develop their forearms the way you have. You're Popeye! Keep up the good work!"
When I am approached by someone who has a crush that I don't reciprocate, I tread lightly. I don't want to be the jerk who gets off hurting other people, so I let him know gently but firmly that I don't share his feelings.
"Thank you for complimenting my forearms. Although we're not a match, I appreciate the sentiment. Good luck in your search!"
Unfortunately, some people aren't so polite, or are too polite to be honest. You will have to learn to get a feel for the other guy's interest by the way he responds (enthusiastically? curtly?) or fails to respond. Be ready to take no for an answer. If I get anything other than an unequivocally enthusiastic reply, I assume the other dude is just being polite, and I let it go. Plenty of fish in the sea.
For the record, I seldom compliment a guy's physique in the first message. (Hence the fictitious example.) Even though they may be powerfully attractive, the guys I like are more than just a hunk of meat. I find something intelligent to say based upon what they wrote in their profile. But that's just me; feel free to develop your own approach.
One last thing. As hard as it may be to believe, some of us are genuinely interested in making new friends. Not everyone wants to put you on their "to do" list. If you're one of the good guys, be open-minded about the type of relationship that is being proposed.