I hate the term "straight-acting".

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    Apr 16, 2013 4:39 AM GMT
    This really bugs me. Especially when people use it to describe me, or tell me I don't act gay. Whether you're masculine or feminine does not determine your sexuality, so why the term straight-acting? It implies that I'm acting, that I'm pretending. I don.t act straight and I don't act gay.

    I am myself and I always have been.

    That's all.
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    Apr 16, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    Are you always this literal? Do you actually think people mean "acting" in a literal way?
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    Apr 16, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidAre you always this literal? Do you actually think people mean "acting" in a literal way?


    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 16, 2013 4:44 AM GMT
    It's okay dan, let it all out. icon_smile.gif

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  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Apr 16, 2013 4:58 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidAre you always this literal? Do you actually think people mean "acting" in a literal way?

    Do you think they mean it in a philosophical way?
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    Apr 16, 2013 5:00 AM GMT
    kevmoran said
    Scruffypup saidAre you always this literal? Do you actually think people mean "acting" in a literal way?

    Do you think they mean it in a philosophical way?
    Maybe in a metaphorical way?
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    Apr 16, 2013 5:04 AM GMT
    I get where you're coming from but even within the gay community there seems to be a preset notion of what a gay man is and isn't and guys who tend to exist outside of that idea are considered straight acting or still closeted or hating themselves.
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Apr 16, 2013 5:10 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidThis topic is a boring and dull as the people who constantly bring it up. Use the fucking archive...no one needs to see a rerun of this stupidity again. "Er....language is hard....I don't know what 'acting' means so I'm just going to go with 'pretending'." Right...my fast-acting antacid is just pretending. icon_rolleyes.gif

    It's not a matter of different meanings of the same word, it's what the phrase is saying. Yes, your fast-acting antacid is acting fast. That's what the phrase means. Straight-acting means acting straight, as in you are acting like a straight person.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 16, 2013 5:13 AM GMT
    Yeah, I hear ya. And I wish people would stop talking about the sun rising and setting, or coming up and going down. Pisses me the fuck off. THE SUN DOES NOT RISE OR SET PEOPLE! Such notions are SO Flat Earth it isn't even funny! icon_mad.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 16, 2013 6:10 AM GMT
    ooooo .... yer such a butch bitch .... I really like that in a man icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 16, 2013 6:12 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidThis topic is a boring and dull as the people who constantly bring it up. Use the fucking archive...no one needs to see a rerun of this stupidity again. "Er....language is hard....I don't know what 'acting' means so I'm just going to go with 'pretending'." Right...my fast-acting antacid is just pretending. icon_rolleyes.gif

    But cha got no qualms with "gay", right sunshine? --bet you're just always prancing around with a big smile on your face, happy as can be all the time, dressed up in festive wear, singing show tunes? How 'bout "queer" --feel a little strange, not normal, unusual? No probs there though, right?

    There are 600,000 words in English. Your computer monitor probably displays 16 million + colours....we don't have words enough to describe the thing you're looking at, so don't get hung-up on bullshit etymology and semantics. Even on your cell phone, you're still "dialing" a number; when someone tells you to "hold your horses" they don't actually mean that; if you're "pitching a tent" these days, you're unlikely to be camping.

    So yeah. I hate this troll topic even more than you're "acting" like you hate that term. icon_mad.gif


    Jeez, was just lookin for others opinions here. Didn't mean to aggravate you.

    My point was, being masculine is not acting straight. It's a silly term.
  • 4another

    Posts: 20

    Apr 16, 2013 6:25 AM GMT
    You know what bugs me? Homos that constantly whine and cry about semantics and politically correct language.

    Get over yourself.
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    Apr 16, 2013 6:46 AM GMT
    4another saidYou know what bugs me? Homos that constantly whine and cry about semantics and politically correct language.

    Get over yourself.


    No it's about intercommunity bullying. Fuck I came out of the closet to escape gender stereotypes and traditional roles and now you're telling me we are forcing some of the same shit on our gay brothers?
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    Apr 16, 2013 12:18 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    4another saidYou know what bugs me? Homos that constantly whine and cry about semantics and politically correct language.

    Get over yourself.


    No it's about intercommunity bullying. Fuck I came out of the closet to escape gender stereotypes and traditional roles and now you're telling me we are forcing some of the same shit on our gay brothers?


    Oh, you don't even know... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2013 12:57 PM GMT
    im masculine as im a man
    i dont know how to act
    its just inborn that im no less than a straight
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    Apr 16, 2013 1:10 PM GMT
    xrichx said
    kevmoran said
    Scruffypup saidAre you always this literal? Do you actually think people mean "acting" in a literal way?

    Do you think they mean it in a philosophical way?
    Maybe in a metaphorical way?


    Look. For years gay men used the term "masculine". But apparently stupid people thought that if you slipped on a pair of combat boots, a black leather vest and stuck a cigar in your mouth that you magically became "masculine". So the naturally masculine guys who didn't want to be identified with these dress up queens started using the term "straight acting". Of course the gays have been fuming about that term ever since because although not a perfect term, it addresses mannerisms instead of fashion. If you don't like the term then don't use it; I don't care for it myself. But not liking the term because you're too stupid to not take everything literally just makes you look.....well....stupid.
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    Apr 16, 2013 1:14 PM GMT
    xrichx said
    kevmoran said
    Scruffypup saidAre you always this literal? Do you actually think people mean "acting" in a literal way?

    Do you think they mean it in a philosophical way?
    Maybe in a metaphorical way?


    maybe they don't really mean what they say??

    i bet this is exactly what happens when in private

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRO0FLFBzD8a6k7WTndv9v
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 16, 2013 1:28 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    xrichx said
    kevmoran said
    Scruffypup saidAre you always this literal? Do you actually think people mean "acting" in a literal way?

    Do you think they mean it in a philosophical way?
    Maybe in a metaphorical way?


    Look. For years gay men used the term "masculine". But apparently stupid people thought that if you slipped on a pair of combat boots, a black leather vest and stuck a cigar in your mouth that you magically became "masculine". So the naturally masculine guys who didn't want to be identified with these dress up queens started using the term "straight acting". Of course the gays have been fuming about that term ever since because although not a perfect term, it addresses mannerisms instead of fashion. If you don't like the term then don't use it; I don't care for it myself. But not liking the term because you're too stupid to not take everything literally just makes you look.....well....stupid.

    I may be wrong but I think xdanw is expressing his frustration with labels, stereotyping and expectations in general.

    We all want to be seen, respected and loved for ourselves but the labels we use often get in the way of our getting to know the real person right in front of us.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 16, 2013 1:35 PM GMT
    then stop watching gay men in straight porno
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    Apr 16, 2013 1:35 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    Scruffypup said
    xrichx said
    kevmoran said
    Scruffypup saidAre you always this literal? Do you actually think people mean "acting" in a literal way?

    Do you think they mean it in a philosophical way?
    Maybe in a metaphorical way?


    Look. For years gay men used the term "masculine". But apparently stupid people thought that if you slipped on a pair of combat boots, a black leather vest and stuck a cigar in your mouth that you magically became "masculine". So the naturally masculine guys who didn't want to be identified with these dress up queens started using the term "straight acting". Of course the gays have been fuming about that term ever since because although not a perfect term, it addresses mannerisms instead of fashion. If you don't like the term then don't use it; I don't care for it myself. But not liking the term because you're too stupid to not take everything literally just makes you look.....well....stupid.

    I may be wrong but I think xdanw is expressing his frustration with labels, stereotyping and expectations in general.

    We all want to be seen, respected and loved for ourselves but the labels we use often get in the way of our getting to know the real person right in front of us.


    And that's understandable. I think we all get tired of labels, but let's face it - they're not going away. Pretty much everything in our profiles can be seen as "labeling", but this is how we summarize who we are....especially in a virtual world where we cannot meet each other face to face. It's frustrating enough to have to describe yourself to strangers but to have every fucking term to describe your mannerisms taken away from you makes you just want to give up even trying.
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    Apr 16, 2013 1:54 PM GMT
    For an intellectual analysis of this discussion, read Dr. Kenji Yoshino's book Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights

    covering.jpg?w=300&h=471
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    Apr 16, 2013 1:59 PM GMT
    +1 for Yoshino
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 16, 2013 2:05 PM GMT
    osakarob saidFor an intellectual analysis of this discussion, read Dr. Kenji Yoshino's book Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights

    From the amazon book description:
    In this remarkable and elegant work, acclaimed Yale Law School professor Kenji Yoshino fuses legal manifesto and poetic memoir to call for a redefinition of civil rights in our law and culture.

    Everyone covers. To cover is to downplay a disfavored trait so as to blend into the mainstream. Because all of us possess stigmatized attributes, we all encounter pressure to cover in our daily lives. Given its pervasiveness, we may experience this pressure to be a simple fact of social life.

    Against conventional understanding, Kenji Yoshino argues that the demand to cover can pose a hidden threat to our civil rights. Though we have come to some consensus against penalizing people for differences based on race, sex, sexual orientation, religion, and disability, we still routinely deny equal treatment to people who refuse to downplay differences along these lines. Racial minorities are pressed to “act white” by changing their names, languages, or cultural practices. Women are told to “play like men” at work. Gays are asked not to engage in public displays of same-sex affection. The devout are instructed to minimize expressions of faith, and individuals with disabilities are urged to conceal the paraphernalia that permit them to function. In a wide-ranging analysis, Yoshino demonstrates that American civil rights law has generally ignored the threat posed by these covering demands. With passion and rigor, he shows that the work of civil rights will not be complete until it attends to the harms of coerced conformity.

    At the same time, Yoshino is responsive to the American exasperation with identity politics, which often seems like an endless parade of groups asking for state and social solicitude. He observes that the ubiquity of the covering demand provides an opportunity to lift civil rights into a higher, more universal register. Since we all experience the covering demand, we can all make common cause around a new civil rights paradigm based on our desire for authenticity–a desire that brings us together rather than driving us apart.

    Yoshino’s argument draws deeply on his personal experiences as a gay Asian American. He follows the Romantics in his belief that if a human life is described with enough particularity, the universal will speak through it. The result is a work that combines one of the most moving memoirs written in years with a landmark manifesto on the civil rights of the future.
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    Apr 16, 2013 2:06 PM GMT
    I am very masc but go out of My way to really flame it up and be as femme as possible just to confuse the old people.

    The look on their faces when I crack a Dudes jaw with one swipe while wearing My mu-mu and turban is PRICELESS.

    Downside is I DO go thru a LOT of liquid eyeliner every month...

    icon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 16, 2013 2:23 PM GMT
    Cash saidI am very masc but go out of My way to really flame it up and be as femme as possible just to confuse the old people.

    The look on their faces when I crack a Dudes jaw with one swipe while wearing My mu-mu and turban is PRICELESS.

    Downside is I DO go thru a LOT of liquid eyeliner every month...

    icon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gificon_neutral.gif

    ^^^ Back in the old days it was called "gender fucking".