What to do with guys that are already in relationships?

  • tylerc

    Posts: 16

    Apr 17, 2013 4:29 AM GMT
    I met this guy at House of Blues Boston a few weeks back, and he's just by far the most incredible guy I've ever met.
    We had eye contacts, so I decided to man up and introduced myself to him. We started talking, then he said that he's actually taken. At first, I thought he was just bs-ing, but then his boyfriend actually came up a bit later and we all just started drinking and stuff.
    I was going to ask for his number before we got out from the club, but thought it would be awkward, because his boyfriend was there with him the whole time.
    I managed to find him on Facebook through the MIT network, and friended him.

    I'm totally into this guy, and don't think I'll ever meet someone like him, at least not in the near future, and I'm positive that he's somewhat interested.

    What should I do? Send him a message? Or just leave it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    Send him a message, but don't be a whore and respect their relationship. If they're not open take no for an answer gracefully.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    BACK THE FUCK OFF!!!

    just say'n
  • Varanus

    Posts: 58

    Apr 17, 2013 4:32 AM GMT
    Easy answer....Don't be a home wrecker full stop.
    Go and find a man who isn't taken, after all if he left his current partner for you what's going to stop him from leaving you when a better updated model arrives on the scene.
    Wake up to yourself.!
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Apr 17, 2013 4:33 AM GMT
    Try and be his friend but that's it.But don't try and steal him from his man das sum phucked up shat lol
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    Apr 17, 2013 4:33 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidBACK THE FUCK OFF!!!

    just say'n


    This^^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidBACK THE FUCK OFF!!!

    just say'n


    Agreed. There's nothing for you to do.

    I mean if it was your boyfriend and another guy was considering making room for himself how would you feel?
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Apr 17, 2013 5:03 AM GMT
    I can't believe the question even needs to be asked

    *shaking my head*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 5:14 AM GMT
    Are you even listening to yourself right now?

    tumblr_m3od0qqnm31qbb166o1_400.gif
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Apr 17, 2013 5:21 AM GMT
    Seric saidAre you even listening to yourself right now?

    tumblr_m3od0qqnm31qbb166o1_400.gif
    I love u..that gif has me convulsing on my carpet
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 5:48 AM GMT
    If he's taken you simply . . . LEAVE HIM ALONE. Doesn't matter if it seems like he's into you and you "don't think you'll ever meet someone like him"l. Don't play with someone's relationship.
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    Apr 17, 2013 5:57 AM GMT
    Slim2010 saidIf he's taken you simply . . . LEAVE HIM ALONE. Doesn't matter if it seems like he's into you and you "don't think you'll ever meet someone like him"l. Don't play with someone's relationship.


    This all day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 12:37 PM GMT
    What is your motive? Are you trying to become friends with them? Are you aiming to sleep with him? Are you trying to sleep with him and his boyfriend?

    This plays a huge part as to what you should do.

    If you honestly are trying to become friends with him, you need to make an attempt at becoming friends with they boyfriend as well.

    If you are you are trying to seduce him away from his boyfriend, don't.

    If you're aiming for a three-way...well that's a wild card that I haven't really thought all the through (best to back off in this case as well...just for the sheer awkwardness that could ensue).

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 12:49 PM GMT
    My suggestion: Chat with him as a friend. Don't flirt or do anything to put his relationship in danger. If you see him as this amazing guy he can be your amazing guy friend.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 17, 2013 2:39 PM GMT
    Talk to him. See what he's thinking. They may have an open relationship and if he's just looking for fun, well, you need to decide if you want to be just fun or not. Nobody gets hurt talking. Just don't try to wedge between him and his guy. That can get ugly quickly.
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    Apr 17, 2013 2:42 PM GMT
    Varanus saidEasy answer....Don't be a home wrecker full stop.
    Go and find a man who isn't taken, after all if he left his current partner for you what's going to stop him from leaving you when a better updated model arrives on the scene.
    Wake up to yourself.!


    +1 icon_exclaim.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 2:57 PM GMT
    You friended him on facebook. Did he accept? If so, you have indicated you have an interest. Sit back and let him make the next move. If he doesn't, forget it; he's just not into you.
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    Apr 17, 2013 3:24 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidBACK THE FUCK OFF!!!

    just say'n


    This.
  • ZA_Dude

    Posts: 3

    Apr 17, 2013 3:47 PM GMT
    showme saidSend him a message, but don't be a whore and respect their relationship. If they're not open take no for an answer gracefully.


    Some couples are open to more than one partner, just respect their rules and don't put strain on their relationship.

    Be clear with your intentions and be honest to yourself and your buddy, if he is in a monogamous relationship; just back away because no good can come of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 3:48 PM GMT
    The best you can do is to be a spectator. You want to be close enough where you get to see things, but far enough from being involved.

    Keep your distance till you find out he's free. Don't get romantically involved while he's in a relationship. You owe it to yourself to not get romantically involved. (Now if being in a 3-way relationship is what you're looking for, that's for another topic.)

    The downside to this approach is that there's a chance that they'll never break-up for the next 5 years or more. Which by then, you already wasted a lot of time if you are waiting.


    On the other hand, the worst you can do is to be a home-wrecker. Everyone knows the consequences, so I won't go into details for this option.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Apr 17, 2013 3:48 PM GMT
    Seriously? icon_neutral.gif

    If he hasn't made it clear he isn't looking (some relationships are open) you can always ask. But if he has (and it sounded like he did from what you said) then have some respect for other people and drop it.
    Feel free to be "just" friends if that's something you can do.
  • davidsticky69

    Posts: 412

    Apr 17, 2013 4:38 PM GMT
    Oh god. No. Spare yourself and the guy the drama please. It will NEVER end well for both parties. This aint no fairy tale!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 4:39 PM GMT
    Be gracious.... he is taken! icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 4:49 PM GMT
    Go find YOUR OWN incredible guy! Clearly, the one you're crushing on is already spoken for!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 4:49 PM GMT
    tylerc said......
    I was going to ask for his number before we got out from the club, but thought it would be awkward, because his boyfriend was there with him the whole time.
    .....


    This scares me! No offense but What happened to showing some respect and decency for guys in a Relationship unlike making use of every opportunity!?