Masc For Masc Dating/Hookup sites?

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Apr 17, 2013 6:02 AM GMT
    Is anyone else surprised that a site like this hasn't been made yet? (If there is, I apologize for my ignorance).

    I mean, after seeing how much this topic is brought up not just here but on other gay oriented forum sites as well, I'm surprised that a site like this hasn't been made yet. I think it would certainly be successful since 90% of masc guys want to date other masc guys. Considering how much these men despise feminine men, a site like this would be good for these kind of people. They can meet other equally masculine men and they won't have to worry about seeing fem men at all. Talk about sports, cars, outdoor activities, you name it. Stuff that feminine men generally aren't into.

    I don't know, I just think a site like this would help put an end to the whole masc vs fem standoff that is used almost every day. And heck, maybe if said site does well, they could make other sites like fem for fem or masc for fem type sites as well.

    What do you think?
    And again, if there are sties like these, I apologize.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3528

    Apr 17, 2013 6:26 AM GMT
    is it really hard to ignore a few people on a standard site? i mean my squirt account hits 100 times a day...I really dont have to do much work to pick out the ones I liked.

    if you put what you want in your profile you generally get it.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Apr 17, 2013 7:57 AM GMT
    Apparition saidis it really hard to ignore a few people on a standard site? i mean my squirt account hits 100 times a day...I really dont have to do much work to pick out the ones I liked.

    if you put what you want in your profile you generally get it.


    Yeah, I know for some people it's not that hard to ignore but still, it just seems like a site like this would make it so that the masc guy wouldn't have to be on another site that has people he finds despicable/annoying.

    If it would help alleviate this petty Masc vs Fem wars, I'd say go for it.
  • Diceroll

    Posts: 224

    Apr 17, 2013 12:05 PM GMT
    Elysian_Fields said
    Apparition saidis it really hard to ignore a few people on a standard site? i mean my squirt account hits 100 times a day...I really dont have to do much work to pick out the ones I liked.

    if you put what you want in your profile you generally get it.


    Yeah, I know for some people it's not that hard to ignore but still, it just seems like a site like this would make it so that the masc guy wouldn't have to be on another site that has people he finds despicable/annoying.

    If it would help alleviate this petty Masc vs Fem wars, I'd say go for it.


    I'm not sure if having separate sites for masculine and feminine guys would solve the 'wars' - if anything the separation of dating sites by something like that could just make things worse. It's not just feminine guys who ignore the 'what I'm looking for' section on people's profiles anyway - nearly everybody seems to do it.

    Plus, how would the site 'screen' guys for their masculinity anyway? As many people on this site point out, a lot of guys who describe themselves as masculine/straight acting etc are anything but.
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    Apr 17, 2013 12:56 PM GMT
    Having separate sites isn't going to do anything to "alleviate the masc fem wars". That's tantamount to saying that apartheid alleviated racism in South Africa. It caused further divisions. Part of the reason why it would actually make things worse is because when you are isolated from other types of people, you generally rely solely on stereotypes to describe the other types of people.

    The way is currently works, those that are more masc are generally more accepted in society. Look at the majority of movies that portray gay males. "Brokeback Mountain", arguably the most successful gay male movie, depicts masculine gay males struggling. Whereas "I Love You Phillip Morris" did not do so well because of its effeminate character that was not struggling for rights or acceptance.

    I mean my friends pretty much took more stock in me and even some conservative friends were happy I came out. I know their reaction, unfortunately, would be different if I were effeminate.

    As time progresses and culture relies less on binaries of what is male and female, then we will see progress. This will only occur with mixing and better education regarding gender and sex.
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    Apr 17, 2013 1:45 PM GMT
    You mean every single gay dating site out there?

    The majority of profiles are masc for masc. Why do we need a separate site?
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Apr 17, 2013 8:45 PM GMT
    Would be a closet/DL hotbed. And most guys would be femmes in denial anyways.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    sounds like a crock of shit, im sure many shitty personalitied homos would love it
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    Apr 17, 2013 9:33 PM GMT
    Dominican_Gent saidWould be a closet/DL hotbed. And most guys would be femmes in denial anyways.


    ...I think you're spot on
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 17, 2013 9:40 PM GMT
    no offense man but you don't look that masculine,
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    Apr 17, 2013 9:46 PM GMT
    Wink saidno offense man but you don't look that masculine,

    This times a thousand broken mirrors
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 376

    Apr 17, 2013 11:03 PM GMT
    Wink saidno offense man but you don't look that masculine,


    Maybe he's not which could be his point. By his logic it would also keep masculine guys who would otherwise pass over, ignore, and even insult those who are not masculine out of sight which would be less bothersome to both sides.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 18, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    This is interesting, but not likely to happen. I guess to verify, there would have to be some people judging the applicants to make sure they are masculine. This would probably be done through a personality questionnaire and possibly the applicant submitting a video of themselves talking and stuff so they could analyze voice and mannerisms. All this is too much work lol

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Apr 18, 2013 10:34 AM GMT
    1blind_dog said
    Wink saidno offense man but you don't look that masculine,


    Maybe he's not which could be his point. By his logic it would also keep masculine guys who would otherwise pass over, ignore, and even insult those who are not masculine out of sight which would be less bothersome to both sides.


    Pretty much this. I know I'm far from masculine but I also know I'm not campy fem either. I don't know where I stand honestly but at this point, please excuse my language but I don't give a shit anymore. People have judged me and will judge me for whatever and it's just a part of life. Got to accept it.

    And you're right, I do personally feel this type of thing would keep these masculine men to avoid fem guys. I'm sorry but it just seems like such a recurring theme so if a site like this was created, at least those masculine men won't have to interact with a fem guy.

    Winkno offense man but you don't look that masculine


    Yes, I know I don't look masculine and I know I'm not masculine.

    smartmoney
    This times a thousand broken mirrors


    Okay, thanks.. icon_neutral.gif

    joeyphyx444This is interesting, but not likely to happen. I guess to verify, there would have to be some people judging the applicants to make sure they are masculine. This would probably be done through a personality questionnaire and possibly the applicant submitting a video of themselves talking and stuff so they could analyze voice and mannerisms. All this is too much work lol

    It actually does seem like a lot of work haha. I think they're better off doing the questionaire.

    DicerollI'm not sure if having separate sites for masculine and feminine guys would solve the 'wars' - if anything the separation of dating sites by something like that could just make things worse. It's not just feminine guys who ignore the 'what I'm looking for' section on people's profiles anyway - nearly everybody seems to do it.

    Plus, how would the site 'screen' guys for their masculinity anyway? As many people on this site point out, a lot of guys who describe themselves as masculine/straight acting etc are anything but.


    Yeah I know there could be some cons with such an idea but I don't know personally, it just seems like it could do some good at the same time.

    And they'd probably do something like a personality quiz to do the weeding out process.

    seoulsearcherHaving separate sites isn't going to do anything to "alleviate the masc fem wars". That's tantamount to saying that apartheid alleviated racism in South Africa. It caused further divisions. Part of the reason why it would actually make things worse is because when you are isolated from other types of people, you generally rely solely on stereotypes to describe the other types of people.

    The way is currently works, those that are more masc are generally more accepted in society. Look at the majority of movies that portray gay males. "Brokeback Mountain", arguably the most successful gay male movie, depicts masculine gay males struggling. Whereas "I Love You Phillip Morris" did not do so well because of its effeminate character that was not struggling for rights or acceptance.

    I mean my friends pretty much took more stock in me and even some conservative friends were happy I came out. I know their reaction, unfortunately, would be different if I were effeminate.

    As time progresses and culture relies less on binaries of what is male and female, then we will see progress. This will only occur with mixing and better education regarding gender and sex.


    Yeah, it's already apparent that masculinity is clearly the much more desired trait not only in the gay dating world but also in the straight world too. But that is also why I think if such a site like this existed, it would give the masculine men what they want and repel the guys they don't want. I don't know, I guess I've just heard, seen, and even had some negativity revolving around this subject and I could be partially jaded by people these days. :l





  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2013 10:52 AM GMT
    I kind of agree with the OP.
    I mean generally there is bitchiness on both sides.
    I have found some "fem" guys to be extremely rude with the way they speak to and about people, and then masc guys who practically act like bullies.
    I am by no means "masc" by society's definition though I also don't feel I'm "fem" either.
    I'd probably say I have more feminine qualities than masculine ones, or at least what society would define them as and so I think I'd probably have more in common with someone a little more on the 'fem' side than the 'masc' side.

    I don't see it as a solution as "solving a war", frankly I don't see why any other gay person should hate another gay person for being 'masc' or 'fem', that's as dumb as straights hating gays, if not worse.
    To be honest, I think 'fem' guys have it the hardest out of all the gay men because they are scrutinised by everyone who scrutinises gay people PLUS 'masc' gay men.

    Anyway I just think it'd make filtering through so much easier really.
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    Apr 18, 2013 10:52 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidJust because you're straight acting and "masc" doesn't mean you can't be fabulous!

    tumblr_ma8flrFWQ11rfduvxo1_500.gif



    I hear that

    tumblr_mkv5x1ur9I1rmil8co1_500.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Apr 18, 2013 10:55 AM GMT
    NerdMonastery saidI kind of agree with the OP.
    I mean generally there is bitchiness on both sides.
    I have found some "fem" guys to be extremely rude with the way they speak to and about people, and then masc guys who practically act like bullies.
    I am by no means "masc" by society's definition though I also don't feel I'm "fem" either.
    I'd probably say I have more feminine qualities than masculine ones, or at least what society would define them as and so I think I'd probably have more in common with someone a little more on the 'fem' side than the 'masc' side.

    I don't see it as a solution as "solving a war", frankly I don't see why any other gay person should hate another gay person for being 'masc' or 'fem', that's as dumb as straights hating gays, if not worse.
    To be honest, I think 'fem' guys have it the hardest out of all the gay men because they are scrutinised by everyone who scrutinises gay people PLUS 'masc' gay men.

    Anyway I just think it'd make filtering through so much easier really.


    This. This is somewhat a good summary of what I meant.

    I understand what you are trying to say as I too know I'm not masculine but not fem either. I'm just "there". So it's cool to see someone who knows what I mean.
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    Apr 18, 2013 12:14 PM GMT
    anigif_enhanced-buzz-6471-1364238624-14.
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    Apr 18, 2013 12:50 PM GMT
    These things are intersectional. If you think masc/fem divide is going to solve it, I don't know what world you're living in.

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    Apr 18, 2013 2:01 PM GMT
    There is no way to police masculinity on a site. I mean honestly, "Realjock" is pretty much exactly what you're talking about, a site geared towards masculine/athletic/jock types. Granted, it isn't marketed as a "dating/hookup" site as much as some others, but it has that component. Realjock can't police who on the site is a "jock," and anyone can have a profile without being athletic at all (or without providing ANY information or pictures).

    What I feel underlies this thread is the same theme seen over and over in the "Why don't white guys want -insert other race here-?" threads. It's frustration over some group which is seen as desirable seeming to only want guys from within that group when the one who is frustrated by this bias actually has the exact same bias. There is an expectation that desirable guys, be they white, muscular, masculine, whatever, must be interested in EVERYONE, while those who are seen or see themselves as "less desirable" can carry on their own narrow preferences free of the same criticism.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Apr 19, 2013 2:46 AM GMT
    CaCO3 saidThere is no way to police masculinity on a site. I mean honestly, "Realjock" is pretty much exactly what you're talking about, a site geared towards masculine/athletic/jock types. Granted, it isn't marketed as a "dating/hookup" site as much as some others, but it has that component. Realjock can't police who on the site is a "jock," and anyone can have a profile without being athletic at all (or without providing ANY information or pictures).

    What I feel underlies this thread is the same theme seen over and over in the "Why don't white guys want -insert other race here-?" threads. It's frustration over some group which is seen as desirable seeming to only want guys from within that group when the one who is frustrated by this bias actually has the exact same bias. There is an expectation that desirable guys, be they white, muscular, masculine, whatever, must be interested in EVERYONE, while those who are seen or see themselves as "less desirable" can carry on their own narrow preferences free of the same criticism.


    Yeah I see your point on this site. I didn't really think of it like that since I felt this site was more about the exercise/workout tips and such but okay, you're right there.

    And about the whole desirable and undesirables. I didn't say that these masculine guys should go for non masculine guys. It's already obvious they don't want that so I was just going more along the lines of that the masculine guy will have a much better chance finding his desired partner on a DATING/HOOKUP site that strictly catered to what he wanted which in this case, another masc guy without getting hit up/bothered by fem guys. I don't see what the big issue with that is. :l
    And I'm not trying to say I'm the masc guy (like I said, I'm far from it) but it's already discouraging enough from us "less desirable" to get in the way of those who are more wanted/desired. So I was thinking maybe a site that strictly only wanted the in demand people would make it easier for those people. Kind of like that site where they only let attractive/hot/good looking people join. I forgot the name of it. Ridiculous yes but if it was really such a bad idea, why do they have members? See what I mean?


    nevz
    These things are intersectional. If you think masc/fem divide is going to solve it, I don't know what world you're living in.


    Sure, it sounds jaded but I have a feeling deep down, it would be a 50/50 spectrum. It would help and it wouldn't help.

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Apr 19, 2013 2:50 AM GMT
    I apologize if this topic came out ignorant. I wasn't trying to imply it but I was just thinking and it was just an opinion. The whole masc vs fem thing is one of the biggest issues/arguments that I come across when it comes to gay topics. From masculine men complaining about not finding "normal" guys like themselves to fem men complaining about not being able to find a masc man into them.

    I guess maybe after seeing this topic so frequently, it gave me a little disconnection/distortion of the gay community and since they already divide and discriminate against each other, there will never be a day where the people will get along. So you might as well not try and just continue the division. I personally wouldn't want that but at this point, it just seems more probable.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 19, 2013 2:57 AM GMT
    CaCO3 saidThere is no way to police masculinity on a site. I mean honestly, "Realjock" is pretty much exactly what you're talking about, a site geared towards masculine/athletic/jock types. Granted, it isn't marketed as a "dating/hookup" site as much as some others, but it has that component. Realjock can't police who on the site is a "jock," and anyone can have a profile without being athletic at all (or without providing ANY information or pictures).

    What I feel underlies this thread is the same theme seen over and over in the "Why don't white guys want -insert other race here-?" threads. It's frustration over some group which is seen as desirable seeming to only want guys from within that group when the one who is frustrated by this bias actually has the exact same bias. There is an expectation that desirable guys, be they white, muscular, masculine, whatever, must be interested in EVERYONE, while those who are seen or see themselves as "less desirable" can carry on their own narrow preferences free of the same criticism.


    Well they could block skinny and fat people. Beautifulpeople.com seems to do a good job at screening
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 19, 2013 3:01 AM GMT
    Plus, by some people's definition of masculinity, no gay man can be masculine when they are having anal sex with other men
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    Apr 19, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    Joeyphx444 said

    Well they could block skinny and fat people. Beautifulpeople.com seems to do a good job at screening


    Lol, that site is interesting. Their screening method is based off of member voting. Kinda like that "rate my dick" site.

    That could be a thought for this "masc 4 masc" thing. icon_razz.gif