Do You Feel Secure in Love?

  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Apr 18, 2013 11:47 AM GMT
    I have a question about love language and self worth and security:

    My 'love language' is words of affirmation i.e. I both express and best receive love by hearing it expressed in words like "I love you. You're my ideal guy. You're (handsome/sexy/beautiful/hot etc) ". And when limmerence passes these affections often dwindle.

    Do you feel secure enough that you can go without hearing from your BF, partner, husband how he feels toward you? What makes you feel loved and KEEPS you feeling loved and secure and certain?


    Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages are broken down here http://marriage.about.com/cs/communicationkeys/a/lovelanguage.htm
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    Apr 18, 2013 1:39 PM GMT
    Our relationship is a mix of all 5 'languages' with touch probably the most important. We are constantly hugging, kissing and cuddling when we are alone. Giving him my undivided attention and giving gifts are my methods of how I declare love. My partner wants to spend time together and provides me with services.

    We almost never say 'I love you'. He uses it with his family a LOT and I never do. Our wordy affirmations are more in the vein of checking in with each other, or saying 'miss you' when one of us is traveling.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Apr 18, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    bhp91126 saidOur relationship is a mix of all 5 'languages' with touch probably the most important. We are constantly hugging, kissing and cuddling when we are alone. Giving him my undivided attention and giving gifts are my methods of how I declare love. My partner wants to spend time together and provides me with services.

    We almost never say 'I love you'. He uses it with his family a LOT and I never do. Our wordy affirmations are more in the vein of checking in with each other, or saying 'miss you' when one of us is traveling.


    That's so wonderful. I don't think everybody says it or needs to hear it verbalized. afterall there are other languages. you guys seem to be tuned in (although if he's verbal with family is it possible he craves that with you, but he's sublimated that in favor of speaking your language?)
    So do you worry if he is spending less time? Or the services slow down? I'm curious if you feel sufficiently loved or if, at times, you worry. I'm not trying to imply he loves you less or visa versa. I'm just wondering what anchors you and makes you feel 'he's here with me. He's not going anywhere' and IF you ever get concerned e.g. If you don't get what you crave does that sometimes raise doubt?
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    Apr 18, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    my main love languages are touch and gifts, while my boyfriends' are words of affirmation, touch, and spending time together

    I hadn't seen him for a 3 week period and when I saw him I had a bunch of presents for him and he just had a can of coconut water I was kind of mad after haha
    but all is good
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    Apr 18, 2013 11:45 PM GMT
    MuscleComeBack said

    That's so wonderful. I don't think everybody says it or needs to hear it verbalized. afterall there are other languages. you guys seem to be tuned in (although if he's verbal with family is it possible he craves that with you, but he's sublimated that in favor of speaking your language?)
    So do you worry if he is spending less time? Or the services slow down? I'm curious if you feel sufficiently loved or if, at times, you worry. I'm not trying to imply he loves you less or visa versa. I'm just wondering what anchors you and makes you feel 'he's here with me. He's not going anywhere' and IF you ever get concerned e.g. If you don't get what you crave does that sometimes raise doubt?

    I'd not be human if I never had a doubt, but generally I'm very sure of him. If something comes up we can always bring stuff up with each other, discuss it, look for solutions and take it from there.
    We've accepted each other, warts and all, want to make each other happy and are there for each other for absolutely everything. I know that he loves me and I hope he knows that I love him too. For both of us, the 'we' comes before the I, for any bigger decisions, planning of time, time with friends, hook ups etc.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Apr 21, 2013 12:47 PM GMT
    How long have you been together?

    bhp91126 said
    MuscleComeBack said

    That's so wonderful. I don't think everybody says it or needs to hear it verbalized. afterall there are other languages. you guys seem to be tuned in (although if he's verbal with family is it possible he craves that with you, but he's sublimated that in favor of speaking your language?)
    So do you worry if he is spending less time? Or the services slow down? I'm curious if you feel sufficiently loved or if, at times, you worry. I'm not trying to imply he loves you less or visa versa. I'm just wondering what anchors you and makes you feel 'he's here with me. He's not going anywhere' and IF you ever get concerned e.g. If you don't get what you crave does that sometimes raise doubt?

    I'd not be human if I never had a doubt, but generally I'm very sure of him. If something comes up we can always bring stuff up with each other, discuss it, look for solutions and take it from there.
    We've accepted each other, warts and all, want to make each other happy and are there for each other for absolutely everything. I know that he loves me and I hope he knows that I love him too. For both of us, the 'we' comes before the I, for any bigger decisions, planning of time, time with friends, hook ups etc.