Dating Interracially: Does it make you less credible as a proud ethnic minority if you date a white person?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2013 8:44 PM GMT
    When I was younger and more closed minded I used to think that black men who exclusively dated non white or mostly white women were either ashamed of their racial background or felt no pride for their racial heritage. Like a lot of the community leaders tended to have white spouses and I thought 'how can you claim to be proud of being black and married to a white person?' However I have moved on that line of thinking and now people direct the same comments towards me. Apparently dating white men makes me less black,lol.

    Anyone else know what I'm dealing with?
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    Apr 19, 2013 9:09 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince saidWhen I was younger and more closed minded I used to think that black men who exclusively dated non white or mostly white women were either ashamed of their racial background or felt no pride for their racial heritage. Like a lot of the community leaders tended to have white spouses and I thought 'how can you claim to be proud of being black and married to a white person?' However I have moved on that line of thinking and now people direct the same comments towards me. Apparently dating white men makes me less black,lol.

    Anyone else know what I'm dealing with?


    man, to me, i never really got why interracial marriage was a big deal begin with. *shrugs* maybe that's because there were people in my family that were doing it and it was just normal. *shrugs* i have a couple of mixed first cousins. they never married the people that they were with because they're white or whatever. my relatives that married white guys married them because they saw something in them that they loved, had kids and now have a family. it wasn't about black and white. but a part of that had to do with them being in another country. in this case, england. it appears to be more acceptable over there than over in the states.

    people are going to say whatever they're going to say and feel how they feel. keep it ignant and etc. like it or not. don't let that stop you from doing what you feel. love is colorless, genderless, and etc etc. as long as you're in love with someone who is of age and can consent for themselves where they know what they're getting themselves into, who cares. i just want a guy who loves me for me and i love him for who he is. he can be black, asian, white or whatever. however, something as simple as that gets fucking complicated when it doesn't need to be because it seems like the world likes to make issues over nothing. people get bored and they have nothing better to do than to give a fuck about things that they shouldn't give a fuck about. after awhile, you just have to say fuck everybody and do whatever you have to do instead of worrying about what other people think. they're gonna hate anyway.
  • ADL14

    Posts: 64

    Apr 19, 2013 9:19 PM GMT
    I have grown up with a mixed family (White stepmom, mixed half brother) and so I'm completely for interracial relationships. However, it is a bit conflicting. Until recently, I have never been "pro-Black" so to speak, and have almost tried to suppress it. But I now realize, especially in the gay world, that interracial dating seems to be even more difficult. And I should expect to be with a guy of color...idk. Just my ramblings.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2013 10:19 PM GMT
    Most people on here want to find a bf and think it is hard. By creating all these artificial barriers like height, age, color, race etc they just make it even more difficult. Falling in love doesn't happen so often in life as to waste any occurance to such hurdles.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 19, 2013 11:30 PM GMT
    Yes. You are the scum of the earth if you date outside your race.

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    Apr 19, 2013 11:32 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidYes. You are the scum of the earth if you date outside your race.

    Oh. icon_cry.gif
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 19, 2013 11:35 PM GMT
    Neight said
    TheBizMan saidYes. You are the scum of the earth if you date outside your race.

    Oh. icon_cry.gif

    Cause then I have competition. icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    Here's another question for thought .Why do so few minorities date each other? Is interracial dating with white men only permissible in our culture?
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    Apr 19, 2013 11:52 PM GMT
    Ant94538 saidHere's another question for thought .Why do so few minorities date each other? Is interracial dating with white men only permissible in our culture?


    Yes. Pretty much.
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Apr 19, 2013 11:53 PM GMT
    My white might be showing, but I didn't know it was really a big deal anymore...
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    Apr 20, 2013 12:01 AM GMT
    Chainers said
    Ant94538 saidHere's another question for thought .Why do so few minorities date each other? Is interracial dating with white men only permissible in our culture?


    Yes. Pretty much.
    Seems like no one is ever willing (or unable) to anwser my first question.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    Ant94538 saidHere's another question for thought .Why do so few minorities date each other? Is interracial dating with white men only permissible in our culture?


    so true.
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    Apr 20, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    kevmoran saidMy white might be showing, but I didn't know it was really a big deal anymore...


    In some places it is. Where I live in and in many parts of the south it's still an issue even though that's where a good chunk of it goes down. I think Alabama has like th highest percentage. The issue seems to be more of an issue stemming from the black community and not the white one. I'm a proud openly gay black man however a small side of me feels a little guilty that I've never really attempted to date another black male. By and large the ones around me don't interest me. That's not my fault and yet I feel like in a small way I'm kind of losing credibility. It's almost like if Malcolm X married Marilyn Monroe.
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    Apr 20, 2013 12:06 AM GMT
    Ant94538 saidHere's another question for thought .Why do so few minorities date each other? Is interracial dating with white men only permissible in our culture?


    Well I see blacks and Latinos together but getting the white man seems to be a prize for some people I guess. And then it depends on who is openly gay. I like dating white guys because I have a better chance of meeting a guy with the type of lifestyle that suits my own and what I want. I don't feel like waiting for a black guy who fits that. Why wait?
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Apr 20, 2013 12:41 AM GMT
    oh here we go!

    These threads always lead to a final conclusion and everyone learns their lesson. I love that we on RJ can come together like that. . . It's amazing.
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    Apr 20, 2013 12:44 AM GMT
    Import saidoh here we go!

    These threads always lead to a final conclusion and everyone learns their lesson. I love that we on RJ can come together like that. . . It's amazing.


    Well I figured it was a nice break from complaining why white guys don't want us. Now we ask what are the social implications of wanting them?
  • Import

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    Apr 20, 2013 12:48 AM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Import saidoh here we go!

    These threads always lead to a final conclusion and everyone learns their lesson. I love that we on RJ can come together like that. . . It's amazing.


    Well I figured it was a nice break from complaining why white guys don't want us. Now we ask what are the social implications of wanting them?


    but isnt it just a generalization of white ppl...claiming they dont want u...

    At least for me, I've dated almost exclusively non-whites my entire dating-life. I just never thought about it. I know i know my whiteness is showing, but fuck the white ppl that dont date u cuz of ur skin color, they're prob super ugly anyway. lolz

    Theres this saying among white people: If it's brown- drink it down. If it's black-send it back lolz jk, but yeah, fuck the white honkeys that dont date non-whites. not all crackers are like that
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2013 12:53 AM GMT
    Import said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Import saidoh here we go!

    These threads always lead to a final conclusion and everyone learns their lesson. I love that we on RJ can come together like that. . . It's amazing.


    Well I figured it was a nice break from complaining why white guys don't want us. Now we ask what are the social implications of wanting them?


    but isnt it just a generalization of white ppl...claiming they dont want u...

    At least for me, I've dated almost exclusively non-whites my entire dating-life. I just never thought about it. I know i know my whiteness is showing, but fuck the white ppl that dont date u cuz of ur skin color, they're prob super ugly anyway. lolz

    Theres this saying among white people: If it's brown- drink it down. If it's black-send it back lolz jk, but yeah, fuck the white honkeys that dont date non-whites. not all crackers are like that


    Lol funny and cute....if I was single.....jk

    Anyway I was just using hyperbole to get my point across. I know some snow bunnies and yellow fever patients but it seems that a lot of white (young) guys are very rigid in what they will get with. Hell some can't even admit they find feminine men attractive so race is a whole nother ballgame baby boy.
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    Apr 20, 2013 2:30 AM GMT
    kevmoran saidMy white might be showing, but I didn't know it was really a big deal anymore...


    Definitely not a big deal at all, show me your whiteness, and i'll show you my semi darkness icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 20, 2013 2:36 AM GMT
    Agamemnon said
    kevmoran saidMy white might be showing, but I didn't know it was really a big deal anymore...


    Definitely not a big deal at all, show me your whiteness, and i'll show you my semi darkness icon_twisted.gif


    Well for some people it is. My mother doesn't like that my boyfriend is white....or male....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2013 2:47 AM GMT
    I would think a gay man who is also a minority would have a hard time find another compatible gay man within his race. Particularly if he didn't live in a really large city.
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    Apr 20, 2013 2:52 AM GMT
    friendormate saidI would think a gay man who is also a minority would have a hard time find another compatible gay man within his race. Particularly if he didn't live in a really large city.


    It's incredibly hard especially I would assume if you're a minority I. Which there ain't a lot of y'all anyway like Asians or Middle Easterners.
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    Apr 20, 2013 3:25 AM GMT
    I see WAAAAAY more white/Latino couples than any other. In fact, it's almost the norm. Both in Miami and in DC it seemed very common....
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    Apr 20, 2013 3:27 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidI see WAAAAAY more white/Latino couples than any other. In fact, it's almost the norm. Both in Miami and in DC it seemed very common....


    I don't see that as much where I live and we have a lot of Latinos. I see (among the straights and gay men) mostly black and white relationships. Lesbians tend to be all over the board.
  • WApilot

    Posts: 191

    Apr 20, 2013 4:48 AM GMT
    I'm gonna be blunt.

    I'm in an interracial relationship now with a good age difference.
    I'm black, he's white, I'm 25 (in 2 months) and he's 38.

    icon_mad.gif I CAN GIVE TWO FUCKS WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OR HOW THEY VIEW OUR RELATIONSHIP icon_mad.gif

    People put too much emphasis in life on how other people view them. Be an individual and stop worrying about what other people think. If you want to be with someone, what color their skin is, religion, age, whatever, should not matter as well as what other people will think of you being in the said relationship.