If you got married would you take the other guy's last name?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2013 1:49 AM GMT
    With me because I hate my last name with such a passion yes but I've seen this be a contentious issue for some guys. What say y'all?

    Also (mostly because I don't want to make a separate thread) whose name would the kids receive?
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    Apr 20, 2013 1:58 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidNah.... As gay men, we don't have to follow that same rules as our parents back in the day. If you don't like your last name, just change it.
    If I did change it to my man's sir name.. I'd be Tony Jabara and be related to Paul Jabara who wrote Donna Summer's hit Last Dance and co-wrote It's Raining Men for the Weather Girls.
    I'll stick with the simple/ most common last name I was born with.


    I guess it is a tad heteronormative when you think about it but it was a discussion on my Facebook last night. Most guys said you take the tops name if there's gonna be a change.
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    Apr 20, 2013 1:58 AM GMT
    God, no! The paperwork would kill me.

    Besides, my initials would be BS. Does not appeal.
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    Apr 20, 2013 2:05 AM GMT
    No, probably not.

    It might be useful if you were adopting children to have a common name. But otherwise I don't think it would make a lot of difference.

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    Apr 20, 2013 3:27 AM GMT
    Great question! Me, definitely not. I have a very unique and nice last name - I'd definitely want to keep it.
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    Apr 20, 2013 3:28 AM GMT
    dc0776 saidNo, probably not.

    It might be useful if you were adopting children to have a common name. But otherwise I don't think it would make a lot of difference.



    Why wouldn't it make a difference?
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    Apr 20, 2013 3:52 AM GMT
    Shawnathan saidI wouldn't do it even if I was a woman.


    Why not? To me it represents truly becoming one with the other person?
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    Apr 20, 2013 3:56 AM GMT
    I'd be open to it. Adding it to my current last name with a hyphen would work too.
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    Apr 20, 2013 4:26 AM GMT
    I definitely wouldn't do it. My mother never fully tool my fathers last name, she simply hyphenated both names. I would probably do the same if it came down to it.
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    Apr 20, 2013 4:35 AM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Shawnathan saidI wouldn't do it even if I was a woman.


    Why not? To me it represents truly becoming one with the other person?


    Actually in Canada you're free to use each others' names as often and in as many ways as you wish. Legally you retain your bachelor name as primary.

    icon_wink.gif

    PS hyphenating I've been told is a fair amount of cash and court involvement (I have no idea why) and this is really a little more fun, with Bill having my last name and I having his. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 20, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Shawnathan saidI wouldn't do it even if I was a woman.


    Why not? To me it represents truly becoming one with the other person?


    Actually in Canada you're free to use each others' names as often and in as many ways as you wish. Legally you retain your bachelor name as primary.

    icon_wink.gif

    PS hyphenating I've been told is a fair amount of cash and court involvement (I have no idea why) and this is really a little more fun, with Bill having my last name and I having his. icon_lol.gif


    Why do you legally retain your single name?
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    Apr 20, 2013 4:45 AM GMT
    I'd probably hyphenate or just keep the same.
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    Apr 20, 2013 4:48 AM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Shawnathan saidI wouldn't do it even if I was a woman.


    Why not? To me it represents truly becoming one with the other person?

    LoL
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    Apr 20, 2013 4:51 AM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    meninlove said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Shawnathan saidI wouldn't do it even if I was a woman.


    Why not? To me it represents truly becoming one with the other person?


    Actually in Canada you're free to use each others' names as often and in as many ways as you wish. Legally you retain your bachelor name as primary.

    icon_wink.gif

    PS hyphenating I've been told is a fair amount of cash and court involvement (I have no idea why) and this is really a little more fun, with Bill having my last name and I having his. icon_lol.gif


    Why do you legally retain your single name?


    You retain it sole for the purposes being able to fall back on it. Other than hyphenation, uses of each others' names are granted automatically.


    "Using A Maiden Surname Or Married Name

    After marriage, you can choose to continue using your own surname, or you can start using your spouse's surname. Changing to your spouse's surname does not constitute or require a legal change of name under the Name Act.

    A spouse may use his or her surname before the marriage, at birth or by adoption. A spouse can also use the surname of his or her spouse by marriage.

    At any time, you can use your original surname or maiden name again, and you do not need to apply for a legal change of name.

    After a divorce, a person may use their name at birth or married surname."

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    Apr 20, 2013 5:14 AM GMT
    No, I don't think that makes any sense. A gay couple is two men or two women, not a man and a woman. To do that only sends a weird message that one of the guys is the man and the other is the woman. Top or bottom they're both still male. I don't think most heterosexual women will even change their name to their husband's in the future.

    The real question is what surname the kids will have. There is hyphenation, but that opens the question of what surname a kid of two hyphenated people will have, they will have to hyphenate FOUR last names for their kids. I think in the future people will probably combine both of their last names into a new last name for their children. They will have to think of ways to combine their names in the most creative and aesthetic way possible (combining them into one word, not hyphenating) to create a new last name. It's not necessary for marriage, but I find it a good solution for the question of what surname the kids will have.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/life/the_good_word/2006/08/keeping_up_with_the_smoneses.html
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    Apr 20, 2013 5:18 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidAbsolutely not...not in a million years. I view that as something that harkens back to when women were chattel. I'm neither.


    I don't see it that way in the modern sense. I see it as a way of two people truly becoming joined together and one. One spouse taking the final leap to be united in every sense of the term with another person. I would change my name in a heartbeat if my future husband asked me too.
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    Apr 20, 2013 5:28 AM GMT
    No, my bf would take my last name instead. I have an Italian last name even though I'm Asian. The Italian name sounds better than his last name (German). icon_biggrin.gif
  • Webster666

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    Apr 20, 2013 5:32 AM GMT
    1) What kids ?
    2) No, I wouldn't take someone else's name, even if it was hyphenated, along with mine. I attach great importance to the fact that my last name was my father's last name, and my grandfather's last name, etc.
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    Apr 20, 2013 5:42 AM GMT
    no, i love my government name too much. hehe. us getting married is more than enough.
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    Apr 20, 2013 1:41 PM GMT
    no
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    Apr 20, 2013 1:44 PM GMT
    Nope. Wouldn't even consider it.
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    Apr 20, 2013 1:45 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidNah.... As gay men, we don't have to follow that same rules as our parents back in the day.


    THIS. I think that one of the advantages of being gay is being able to break all the social guidlines. [Get marry, take your husband's name, have kids.........]. We can do whatever the fuck we want.


    And nope, I wouldn't take it.
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    Apr 20, 2013 1:46 PM GMT
    You know how much work that'd be? That's just one more of the perks of NOT being a woman.
  • Asmodeus

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    Apr 20, 2013 1:47 PM GMT
    only if he takes mine...
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    Apr 20, 2013 1:52 PM GMT
    Shawnathan said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Shawnathan saidI wouldn't do it even if I was a woman.


    Why not? To me it represents truly becoming one with the other person?

    Because, if I was a woman, I would make damn sure that everyone knows that I'm my own woman.


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