First date and Related Issue

• AnacondaRice
  
  Posts: 4
  
  
  Apr 21, 2013 4:43 AM GMT

  I met his new guy some days ago and we had a great dinner. Later he invited me to his place and we watched some movies. At first we're sitting apart from each other on the sofa, but later I ended up laying on his body while he hugged me from the back. He started to touch my head and my chest.
  
  Nothing more happened, but we did hug each other (which he initiated) at the end before I had to go. We continued to text each other every day and he asked me out to have meal again next week, and he has talked about finding me for meals after that.
  
  So it makes me wonder - what is this guy thinking about me? Do guys touch others like this every time on first date?
  
  The reason why it bothered me is that he has a boyfriend (who has been talking about breaking up for several times). I do not intend to interfere with other people's relationship and certainly do not want to be the one to mess around with it, even though it's such a pity that my new friend is a nice guy and his boyfriend doesn't appreciate it.
  
  So I'm am unsure.... Do gay friends touch each other like this?

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• hMan
  
  Posts: 15
  
  
  Apr 21, 2013 5:07 AM GMT

  Short answer: No.
  
  Spooning is not "friendly" — it's romantic or sexual, and if my boyfriend lay on another guy while watching movies I'd definitely be pissed. It's sounds like he's interested in you, and I'd recommend stopping this before it goes farther. If you end up causing them to break up, especially if things go farther, you'll have trouble forgiving yourself. At least I would.

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• PolaroidSwing...
  
  Posts: 1131
  
  
  Apr 21, 2013 5:08 AM GMT

  I personally wouldn't consider that a "first date", given the circumstances.

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• AnacondaRice
  
  Posts: 4
  
  
  Apr 21, 2013 11:45 AM GMT

  I believe I wouldn't want to be the reason that a relationship is harmed. I'm wondering are gay guys used to spoon when watching movies and stuff.
  
  And I never know it's called spooning until now.

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• Splendidus_1
  
  Posts: 611
  
  
  Apr 21, 2013 11:48 AM GMT

  AnacondaRice saidI met his new guy some days ago and we had a great dinner. Later he invited me to his place and we watched some movies. At first we're sitting apart from each other on the sofa, but later I ended up laying on his body while he hugged me from the back. He started to touch my head and my chest.
  
  Nothing more happened, but we did hug each other (which he initiated) at the end before I had to go. We continued to text each other every day and he asked me out to have meal again next week, and he has talked about finding me for meals after that.
  
  So it makes me wonder - what is this guy thinking about me? Do guys touch others like this every time on first date?
  
  The reason why it bothered me is that he has a boyfriend (who has been talking about breaking up for several times). I do not intend to interfere with other people's relationship and certainly do not want to be the one to mess around with it, even though it's such a pity that my new friend is a nice guy and his boyfriend doesn't appreciate it.
  
  So I'm am unsure.... Do gay friends touch each other like this?

  
  
  Then you certainly shouldn't initiate that kind of behavior - and you just signaled him that you are willing to interfere, most likely.

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  Apr 21, 2013 12:37 PM GMT

  Tell him to lose your number. Even if he breaks up with the current BF you will always know that he is the kind of guy putting his toe in the water before the relationship is over.

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• AnacondaRice
  
  Posts: 4
  
  
  Apr 21, 2013 1:05 PM GMT

  Splendidus_1 said

  AnacondaRice saidI met his new guy some days ago and we had a great dinner. Later he invited me to his place and we watched some movies. At first we're sitting apart from each other on the sofa, but later I ended up laying on his body while he hugged me from the back. He started to touch my head and my chest.
  
  Nothing more happened, but we did hug each other (which he initiated) at the end before I had to go. We continued to text each other every day and he asked me out to have meal again next week, and he has talked about finding me for meals after that.
  
  So it makes me wonder - what is this guy thinking about me? Do guys touch others like this every time on first date?
  
  The reason why it bothered me is that he has a boyfriend (who has been talking about breaking up for several times). I do not intend to interfere with other people's relationship and certainly do not want to be the one to mess around with it, even though it's such a pity that my new friend is a nice guy and his boyfriend doesn't appreciate it.
  
  So I'm am unsure.... Do gay friends touch each other like this?

  
  
  Then you certainly shouldn't initiate that kind of behavior - and you just signaled him that you are willing to interfere, most likely.

  
  
  I doubted it was a common practice for gay men to chill like this because he was the one who acknowledged he has a boyfriend. I know sex is definitely a no, but when it comes to things like hugging or spooning, I'm totally not sure.
  
  Probably I have already signaled that I am willing to interfere in this case.. hmm...

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  Apr 21, 2013 2:59 PM GMT

  hes has a boyfriend- FAIL

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  Apr 21, 2013 3:01 PM GMT

  I don't lay on my friends bodies and never will, that is too much contact. This was a date and he has a boyfriend. I'd keep on walking if I were you.

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  Apr 21, 2013 3:09 PM GMT

  [quote]
  ...I doubted it was a common practice for gay men to chill like this because he was the one who acknowledged he has a boyfriend. I know sex is definitely a no, but when it comes to things like hugging or spooning, I'm totally not sure.
  
  Probably I have already signaled that I am willing to interfere in this case.. hmm...[/quote]
  
  Hugging is fine. All friends hug. Infact Hugging gives one a friendly and a moral support as long as their intentions are good. And regarding touching? Most Gays do that. Just make sure that touching is not going to places where it should just as he is technically is still in a relationship coz if you once explore, there is never to turn back and Surprise. you may be the new homewrecker.

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• Destinharbor
  
  Posts: 4913
  
  
  Apr 21, 2013 3:24 PM GMT

  I'm not so sure. Clearly you are not the cause of his failed relationship. Just how dead is it? Sometimes a couple hangs on and patches things up and sometimes they just hang on because it is a habit. Have a non-physical date with him. Like dinner in a restaurant with no sex after. Just talk and see what he's thinking.

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• AnacondaRice
  
  Posts: 4
  
  
  Apr 21, 2013 3:50 PM GMT

  Destinharbor saidI'm not so sure. Clearly you are not the cause of his failed relationship. Just how dead is it? Sometimes a couple hangs on and patches things up and sometimes they just hang on because it is a habit. Have a non-physical date with him. Like dinner in a restaurant with no sex after. Just talk and see what he's thinking.

  
  
  From what I have heard, his boyfriend never appreciates what my friend has done to him and respects my friend's living style, and has been yelling to breakup. My friend actually cursed quite a few times when talking about him (and from his tone and facial expression, I think he meant it).
  
  The intention has been always clear - he's actually the one who suggested being friends together at first. And under this situation, I am not gonna bother anything between the two of them. But yeah, now I know spooning means something more than just a way to show friendliness.

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• tuffguyndc
  
  Posts: 4437
  
  
  Apr 21, 2013 4:31 PM GMT

  no and the fact that you know he has a bf makes me wonder kind of person you are. if you knew he had a bf why would you go over his house and cuddle with him? that is just plain stupid

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• Apparition
  
  Posts: 4032
  
  
  Apr 22, 2013 2:17 AM GMT

  only do what you do with his bf in front of you, thats the rule.
  

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• Joeyphx444
  
  Posts: 2387
  
  
  Apr 22, 2013 2:23 AM GMT

  tuffguyndc saidno and the fact that you know he has a bf makes me wonder kind of person you are. if you knew he had a bf why would you go over his house and cuddle with him? that is just plain stupid

  
  
  I agree
  
  Everything seemed OK till he said BOYFRIEND
  
  STOP right there

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