Dating someone who works out?

  • hMan

    Posts: 15

    Apr 21, 2013 5:02 AM GMT
    Assuming you work out, how important is it to you to date someone who works out?

    The guy I'm seeing right now doesn't work out much, though he does go to the gym with me sometimes. At first I wanted him to go to the gym as much as I do, but I'm starting to realize I don't care. His personality is great, I respect him, we have great conversations and have fun together — what more can I ask for? Things in the bedroom are also going very well, and I'm not sure either of us looking "hotter" would really improve anything in that department.

    What are your thoughts? Is a great bod a necessity in a guy you're seeing?
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    Apr 21, 2013 5:12 AM GMT
    it only needs to be good enough to turn me on beyond that it's all pointless.

    If he does it for ya then who the hell cares
  • spacemagic

    Posts: 520

    Apr 21, 2013 1:07 PM GMT
    For me it's not about having a great body (although that's obviously a plus). It's more of a demonstration of his commitment to take care of his physical health. You only get one body, so it's kind of important to treat it well, especially if you want to have any kind of quality of life as you get older. I plan to be active for the rest of my life and I won't be satisfied with a couch potato.
  • E_84

    Posts: 201

    Apr 21, 2013 1:36 PM GMT
    A healthy and physically fit life in a partner is important to me. It shows self-awareness for ones well-being, self-discipline, and drive.

    However, I it's not a requirement for them to be as passionate/dedicated as I, or for them to have an amazing physique .

    Attractiveness is all up in the mind.
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    Apr 21, 2013 1:40 PM GMT
    My bf does not work out. He is a contractor tho
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    Apr 21, 2013 2:41 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]You only get one body, so it's kind of important to treat it well, especially if you want to have any kind of quality of life as you get older.[/quote]

    As an aging man, I see it more as an evolution. In my 30's, and well into my 40's, I was naturally thin and fit. That changed with time (and a desk job.) Now I'm in the gym 6 days a week, but its much still a work in progress.

    The guy I dated most recently was way more fit than me and I was concerned how we would be compatible. He plays at the gym occasionally. I work my tush off and still don't have the results I'm working towards.

    He thought my desire and determination was sexy and way more important than whether or not I had a perfect body. (I don't.)

    God, I miss him!
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    Apr 21, 2013 2:57 PM GMT
    Generally, I want to be with someone where there's enough in common to do things together, like work out - and enough different to keep things interesting.

    I spend a lot of time cycling, in addition to working out... I dated someone who isn't physically active, and over time I grew really annoyed by him questioning my engaging in those things. That (and other things) chipped away at my happiness and ultimately, I chose to end the relationship.
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    Apr 21, 2013 3:05 PM GMT
    He doesn't have to necessarily work out but he will have to be active. I"m not going hiking and bike riding alone all the time.
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    Apr 21, 2013 3:13 PM GMT
    Im naturally attracted to average body kinda guys.....they are more down to earth and less self absorbed. I only decided to work out myself when i realized i was underweight for my height. If a guy isnt underweight or overweight thats great for me. I could care less about the bulging biceps and chocolate bar abs.

    So if u are shorter, less muscled with great legs and ass....send me a message. This is your man right hereicon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 21, 2013 3:38 PM GMT
    i think it's more a common interest thing, and what you value in life. I value a healthy lifestyle, and if my partner doesnt, it's a difficult situaiton
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    Apr 21, 2013 3:41 PM GMT
    Tempuro saidi think it's more a common interest thing, and what you value in life. I value a healthy lifestyle, and if my partner doesnt, it's a difficult situaiton


    Amen.

    I want a man who's gonna be excited about going for a run with me, going for a hike etc... if he doesn't want any of that then I might as well be single lol.
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    Apr 21, 2013 3:44 PM GMT
    keep gettin' bedder..icon_wink.gif
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Apr 21, 2013 4:22 PM GMT
    Sorry, but not working out is a deal breaker for me. My longest relationship was with someone who did not work out. Me working out all of the time and him never working out always caused problems in our relationship.

    I have a very rigorous eating schedule where I have to eat at least every two to three hours, which my ex could not understand for the life of him. We had to cook separate meals because I wouldn't touch what he would eat, and he wouldn't touch what I would eat.

    The bottom line is that working out/bodybuilding is a LIFESTYLE, not just a hobby that you play around with. It's not always the case, but it's imperative that your life partner share common interests with you. You help support, challenge and push your partner, and you expect the same from him.

    It all boils down to common interests, really. I eat, sleep, lift, rinse, and repeat 24/7, so if my partner is not on board, then the relationship won't go very far.

  • Apr 21, 2013 4:31 PM GMT
    I don't really care, actually I am dating someone who has a tiny belly which find kind of sexy on him. What is important is what's in his mind and heart!
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    Apr 21, 2013 4:34 PM GMT
    As long he looks good and I'm attracted to him it doesn't matter. Besides I don't think he would want to work out with me anyway.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 21, 2013 4:35 PM GMT
    i think most rational people will say at the end of the day it doesn't really matter. what's on the inside usually wins out at the end of the day. i would not care if my bf or gf did not have a hot body. i would like to them to active like myself. but it would not be a deal breaker.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 21, 2013 4:40 PM GMT
    if he's rich enough, then love is all that matters
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 21, 2013 4:41 PM GMT
    Not really. I think it is very important that he value "health and a healthy lifestyle", but if he walks or does something different... or doesn't work out, but we connect on a number of other levels, it isn't critical. There has to be attraction, but that can come in a number of ways.
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    Apr 21, 2013 5:08 PM GMT
    michalchi29 saidAs long he looks good and I'm attracted to him it doesn't matter. Besides I don't think he would want to work out with me anyway.


    Can I just lick your chest? Please.icon_neutral.gif
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Apr 21, 2013 5:21 PM GMT
    To me it is VERY important that he works out. I want it to be a staple in any relationship I'm in. Currently I'm getting to know somebody who is a bodybuilder, and that is just great. That is what I want. Somebody that works out, is conscious of diet/nutrition and will be in the gym with me every day....
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    Apr 21, 2013 5:50 PM GMT
    onejock saidGenerally, I want to be with someone where there's enough in common to do things together, like work out - and enough different to keep things interesting.

    I spend a lot of time cycling, in addition to working out... I dated someone who isn't physically active, and over time I grew really annoyed by him questioning my engaging in those things. That (and other things) chipped away at my happiness and ultimately, I chose to end the relationship.


    See that i don't understand. When people ask others why they do the things they do (without a vested interest in actually why). I've asked guys why they work out but i actually WANT TO KNOW, lol. Always an interesting story like "My brother got me into it" or "got bullied into it and ended up liking it. now i'm bigger than the bullies"
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Apr 21, 2013 6:15 PM GMT
    No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training...what a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.

    Socrates (469 - 399 BC)


    It's important to me. If it's not important to someone else, I'm almost certain to find no interest in dating him and possibly establishing an intimate relationship. How they do it - gym, swim, row, run, blade, climb, box, wrestle, volley - doesn't necessarily dictate my level of interest, although I have a type that typically attracts me above all others. But in the mix, so many elements can outweigh the approach to physical training so long as some serious attention is paid thereto.
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    Apr 21, 2013 7:05 PM GMT
    Knowing that women weren't considered citizens in ancient Greece, seems to me that buddy Socrates here was playing in our team all along hahah he was just too politically righteous! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 21, 2013 7:51 PM GMT
    I want my guy to be as dedicated to health and fitness as I am. A great bod is not necessary, but a nice one means he's conrcened about his physical health. That way we could support, encourage and challenge one another.
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    Apr 21, 2013 8:08 PM GMT
    Hmmm It's really interesting to me because I've been thinking about this a lot. I've been dating for about 2 years not and I always go back and forth regarding the qualities I want/look for in a man.

    Since I started putting on muscle I started getting more attention from muscular/hot guys and I was able to get dates with them. But even though their huge biceps and perfect abs gave me a thrill--my experience is that the muscle only took them so far with me.

    Right now I'm in med school and I started seeing a guy who is an MD/Ph.D student a few years above me--he's handsome, nice, smart, ambitious, but on the shorter side and very very thin. At first I wouldn't have even looked at him but I am happy with him and I think that he can put on muscle if I really wanted him too. He bought a set of weights (I didn't even know people did that!) so that he could workout at him because he's embarrassed about being such a newbie in the gym---which is sort of adorable...I keep inviting him to go to the gym with me but he always has a convenient excuse (i'm in the lab, i'm sore from working out , etc). I wish he could go to the gym, put on another 20 pounds of muscle and satisfy my muscle fettish lol, but is it really fair for me to say that to him?!

    I'm cutting now so I can totally shredded for the summer but I know he loves my body the way it is, even with the adipose tissue around waste icon_smile.gif