Ask Me Something!!

  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 22, 2013 2:28 AM GMT
    If a guy doesn't really ask about you, does that mean he is just shy or can't think of anything icon_rolleyes.gif or is he not really interested? Should you then volunteer information about yourself?

    Maybe I just ask a lot of questions and can fire them pretty quickly and with that, it seems like he's not wondering about me at all. I feel like I know a lot about the guys I meet more than they know about me.

    And I am interesting dammit!! Although I am not a BIG fan of talking about myself too much on a date or something
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    Apr 22, 2013 3:19 PM GMT
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  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 22, 2013 3:23 PM GMT
    Guys are almost as bad as women. You can't ever totally figure them out. I like to say, just because you can talk doesn't mean you know how to communicate. LOL. It's true though. A lot of guys/men don't really know how to get to know someone. If all they want is sex, they might not even *want* to get to know you.
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    Apr 22, 2013 3:30 PM GMT
    It means he's a self-centered, self-absorbed narcissist.
    ....or at least that was my experience.

    I dated a guy for about 3 months, during that time I recalled him asking me only one question and that was only in response to a question I previously asked of him. ( it was a trivial question; "what's is your favorite movie?" )

    Never once had he inquired about anything happening in my life, my upbringing, my interests, work...anything....I remember I caught a cold and not once did he ask "How are you feeling?"...nuthin'.

    I would always ask him questions, even the simplest ones like "How was your day?"...he'd respond with elaborate answers ( he had no difficulty talking about himself ) but never would he volley it back to me....it's "Conversation 101 fer cris'sake!"
    I would try to tell him things about myself, his response was usually a blank stare or he would relate everything back to himself and his own experiences....it was frickin' exhausting.

    I got tired of thinking the same thing you are : "ask me something!!"
    Needless to say, I dumped his ass...towards the end, I realized I knew practically everything about him ( due mostly to him volunteering every detail of his life...since birth. ) and he knew virtually nothing about me.

    It's funny, cuz when we split he stated ; "I thought we were developing a good relationship?"...I said "How could this ever be a relationship when no one's "relating"?!"
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 22, 2013 3:49 PM GMT
    GordHunter saidIt's funny, cuz when we split he stated ; "I thought we were developing a good relationship?"...I said "How could this ever be a relationship when no one's "relating"?!"

    Yup!
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    Apr 22, 2013 3:58 PM GMT
    dumb guys a big - NO
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    Apr 22, 2013 4:00 PM GMT
    I know about this one all too well. I always feel like the 'talker' while the other guy sits and smiles at me (which is ironic, because traditionally I've been the shy guy... apparently not anymore). There's been times where I was on dates and I felt like I was interviewing the guy. The second that I stopped asking questions or tried to get the other guy to take the lead, there would be awkward silence. I certainly have had the feeling that I know less about them than they do about me.

    I always kind of thought that if the other guy wasn't reciprocating, that he wasn't interested. But usually that doesn't seem to be the case. I think shyness can be the cause for some people. Others are just guarded about talking about themselves. Some people just need time to warm up to you. If you come across as outgoing, some guys will naturally slide into a passive role. The reason really depends on the person.

    If you've been dating a bit and he's still that way, you may need to take the direct approach and ask him about it.


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    Apr 22, 2013 4:02 PM GMT
    I agree with Hunter, he might be a self-centric guy, BUT he might also be shy. Depends on if he speaks for long when you ask him something, or does he just give you a short answer?
  • RunnerBen

    Posts: 302

    Apr 22, 2013 4:03 PM GMT
    Joeyphx444 saidIf a guy doesn't really ask about you, does that mean he is just shy or can't think of anything


    Okay, here's what you should do*:

    Ask him, "Hey, how come you never. . . ?" Might be he doesn't realize that this is important to you, or that he's not doing it.

    *This is advice I'm generally too much of a wimp to take myself.
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Apr 22, 2013 4:32 PM GMT
    I just always assumed that if a guy isn't asking you anything about yourself and you're doing all the talking, then that would mean that he's just not into you. Am I wrong on this?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 22, 2013 5:12 PM GMT
    I'm used to people that can freely talk about themselves, you really shouldn't have to drag out everything from the person you are talking to. For one if I start asking questions I don't want to sound like I am interviewing you or being nosey. Try relating some aspects of your day and your life, if he is interested he will listen, if he is not, and is really self-centered, then he will some how turn your day or story about yourself to a story about himself. In which case, if you can deal with it and are comfortable with that sort of relationship, then no problem, otherwise, you are not going to change him, so you need to move on.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 22, 2013 8:17 PM GMT
    Interesting responses here

    Gordhunter-I would have thrown in something like, ".....oh yah and I killed someone before" see if that gets his attention icon_razz.gif I mean wouldn't you wanna know someone!! What if they did something bad or what if you have a lot in common and are an almost perfect match?

    The shy thing is kinda interesting cuz guys have told me that I am the shy one. Which is weird considering I am the one asking all the question and practically MAKING the conversation. Maybe they are trying to bounce the focus of them and onto me cuz they are the real shy and insecure ones, I don't know.

    Like dc0776 said about the passive thing, I am naturally inquisitive and majored in journalism where we learn how to ask stuff in different ways and to always ask more. So maybe I tend to overpower the guy in questions and he just sits back and answers. Occasionally a guy will mirror a question back to me but that's not really fun. I like it if he can come up with an original question
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 22, 2013 8:19 PM GMT
    Trauts saidI just always assumed that if a guy isn't asking you anything about yourself and you're doing all the talking, then that would mean that he's just not into you. Am I wrong on this?


    If that's the case then 95% of guys I talk to are not into me at all
    On here and in real life lol
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 22, 2013 8:21 PM GMT
    GordHunter said
    I would always ask him questions, even the simplest ones like "How was your day?"...he'd respond with elaborate answers ( he had no difficulty talking about himself ) but never would he volley it back to me....it's "Conversation 101 fer cris'sake!"


    I have, on occasion, been sarcastic and said in response to him not asking about my day, "Ohh my day was fine, thanks for asking"
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    Apr 22, 2013 10:05 PM GMT
    There is no right answer because each guy is different. Welcome to the heaven and hell that is dating.
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    Apr 22, 2013 10:44 PM GMT
    DudeInNOVA saidThere is no right answer because each guy is different. Welcome to the heaven and hell that is dating.


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    Apr 22, 2013 11:50 PM GMT
    Joeyphx444 said

    Like dc0776 said about the passive thing, I am naturally inquisitive and majored in journalism where we learn how to ask stuff in different ways and to always ask more. So maybe I tend to overpower the guy in questions and he just sits back and answers. Occasionally a guy will mirror a question back to me but that's not really fun. I like it if he can come up with an original question


    Actually, I have the same background (newspaper columnist who used to interview people regularly), so you may be onto something there, at least in some of the cases.
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    Apr 22, 2013 11:57 PM GMT
    Here are your options:

    1.he doesn't give a shit - honey badger style.


    or


    2. He has no conversation skills.


    Find someone you have an enjoyable give and take with.

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    Apr 23, 2013 12:46 AM GMT
    OK, Joey, I'll ask you something:

    How did you get to be so darn cute?