So I'm incredibly jealous of the guy I'm currently seeing.... and a little mad.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:18 AM GMT
    Alright well, my guy likes to show off his "junk" (I mean not by flashing, but just having a big bulge for everyone to see). So we met up downtown and took the train back to his place. Now this is rush hour, so its packed. So this other guy, walks into the train and is, of course, interested in the guy I'm seeing, which we will call him Joe.

    So Joe, the guy I'm seeing, has his bulge going on, and this guy who walked in, tries to "cop a feel"... which he did. But the thing is, I was right there in front of Joe, witnessing all of it. Joe knew I was watching, and he was occasionally rubbing on him as well, letting it happen.

    Now what's going through my mind is jealousy and "what the fuck".

    Okay, I mean, I'm seeing all of this. He knows what I'm seeing. I get incredibly jealous, I mean who wouldn't if someone you find really attractive, and who is supposedly your 'boyfriend' was allowing someone to rub on him.

    Then he says to me "My god did you see that? His hand was all over me, are you jealous?"

    Then when we get to the train stop near his house, I show a little opposition to him and he suspects I'm mad and says, "...This isn't all about what happened on the train is it? (not in a sarcastic tone)

    How would you feel about this? Is it just me but wouldn't you be mad or jealous?!?! What would you do?

    I feel betrayed, this being my first relationship and stuff. Anyways..Share your thoughts please!!
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:22 AM GMT
    There are two ways to see this.

    He just being a jerk to you and wants to see what your boundaries are.
    Or he's trying to spice something up.
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:23 AM GMT
    He's having sex with other guys behind your back. Easy and simple.

    Make sure though before you dump him
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:29 AM GMT
    he sounds like a inconsiderate slut.
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:35 AM GMT
    Fivealive saidThere are two ways to see this.

    He just being a jerk to you and wants to see what your boundaries are.
    Or he's trying to spice something up.


    I hope he's just being a jerk, he knew I would get jealous and all that jazz. Ugh, I probably got the wrong impression out of this so called "relationship".
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:42 AM GMT
    I'd be a little mad/jealous.

    As long as he didn't do after you told him not too though, then you have no real reason to complain. Use the occasion to set some boundaries.
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    Where are you that random strangers feel comfortable touching another strangers penis all out in the open like that?

    You should of berated your partner for not stopping ole dude or really you should of stopped ole dude from laying his hands on your man like he was about to anoint his dick. It goes both ways.
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    Seric saidhe sounds like a inconsiderate slut.


    Yep. Agreed
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 23, 2013 3:55 AM GMT
    Who gets to go home with your boyfriend ?
    YOU DO.
    Jealousy is a mental illness.
    And, I absolutely guarantee that, sooner or later, your boyfriend will get fed up with it and end your relationship.
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Apr 23, 2013 2:50 PM GMT
    This sounds familiar. Yes, I'm sure I've seen this before...

    ..on Animal Planet. With two animals competing for a third during mating season.
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    Apr 23, 2013 2:55 PM GMT

    Look at this, Schwinn:

    "Then he says to me "My god did you see that? His hand was all over me, are you jealous?"

    ..now look at this:

    "So Joe, the guy I'm seeing, has his bulge going on, and this guy who walked in, tries to "cop a feel"... which he did. But the thing is, I was right there in front of Joe, witnessing all of it. Joe knew I was watching, and he was occasionally rubbing on him as well, letting it happen."

    I'll hazard a guess that Joe is insecure and wants a jealous response from you.

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    Apr 23, 2013 2:57 PM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince saidWhere are you that random strangers feel comfortable touching another strangers penis all out in the open like that?

    You should of berated your partner for not stopping ole dude or really you should of stopped ole dude from laying his hands on your man like he was about to anoint his dick. It goes both ways.


    I'm not with you on that one Mashoga. Joe is an adult, and shouldn't require schwinn to 'rescue' him when Joe not only sought attention, but welcomed it from that strange guy.
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:27 PM GMT
    He's playing games. Likely testing you to see what he can get away with. He may just enjoy seeing the look of jealousy on your face, or it could be a sign of things to come later in the relationship. You need to have an honest conversation about the incident with him.
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:35 PM GMT
    Is this relationship one sided. Are you appreciated and does he respect you? Every couple defines their own relationship and set standards. Have you set yours or are u afraid to voice yours due to the reprecussions because you might loose his buldge?
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    Apr 23, 2013 3:54 PM GMT
    This is a tough one because you are only telling us about a single instance of what could be innocent flirting and lumping that in with the fact that he is proud of his junk.

    I don't think there is wrong with his being proud of his assets. Unless he is wearing spandex pants, which is an all together different problem (run). Guys wear clothing that accentuates the best parts of their bodies all the time. Unless it is done in a tasteless manner I don't see the problem with this.

    You said you showed some opposition, which really doesn't explain what you actually did. Your boyfriend's response together with the statement "he suspects I'm mad" seems to indicate that your opposition was not clearly expressed.

    If you are honestly feeling betrayed by what occurred, you need to calmly explain how you feel to your boyfriend. He will either respect your feelings and work with you or you will find that this is not the right person for you.

    On the flip side this was one isolated instance, and I don't know that you are not a tad insecure and blowing this out of proportion. I also don't know if Joe is extremely insecure and looking for validation. If there is a history of behavior which indicates he is either cheating on you or disrespecting your feelings that is an entirely different story.

    This is not a case of what is right or wrong behavior, but rather what is acceptable to you in a relationship. You need to determine what is important for you to thrive in a happy relationship and work towards that. This also assumes that you do not have your own issues that need to be worked out.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 23, 2013 4:03 PM GMT
    If this is typical, he doesn't have a very mature attitude about your relationship.

    For you, this shouldn't be about "jealousy" per se, (wrong emotion), but resentment that he would do such a thing. He doesn't consider your relationship very seriously. If it was an isolated thing, I'd let him know about it, if he does that kind of thing regularly, I'd find someone else. Anybody who acts like that isn't very "hot" in my opinion, regardless of what he might look like.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 23, 2013 4:15 PM GMT
    I think your guy is a bit of an exhibitionist. And he sees this as harmless and you as reactionary. I've had it happen to me with my partner (though on a dance floor, not a subway), and both my partner and I were not sure how to handle it. So we laughed. Give your guy a break. No harm came of it. If you let things this small break up a budding relationship, you're never going to find love. Just laugh it off with your partner but also quietly let him know you didn't find it fun. Don't be a downer over something he didn't mean to do to hurt you. Or take him to a clothing optional B&B somewhere warm.
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    Apr 23, 2013 4:28 PM GMT
    1. Try being direct and not passive aggressive.

    2. He could have told the guy to stop- he didn't, in fact he reciprocated by allowing it.

    Usually the simplest conclusion its the correct one. We probably don't have all the information so I suggest you draw your own conclusions.
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    Apr 23, 2013 4:39 PM GMT
    I just realized I missed the mark here. U began w/ "I'm jealous of the current guy i'm seeing" which indicates that your more annoyed that know one is grabbing your crotch than the events that took placeicon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 23, 2013 4:40 PM GMT
    I wouldn't be jealous, I'd be more like 'your such a whore !!' icon_lol.gif

    In all seriousness I agree with the above poster, total exhibitionist/narcissistic dude and I would bin him ASAP because he doesn't respect you.
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    Apr 23, 2013 5:04 PM GMT
    Dude you are 21 years old. Do you think you and your BF should behave like a reclusive 50 year old maiden aunt? Have some fun while you can. Your BF thought it was funny so should you. And in any case don't be a victim. It you didn't like it you should have acted to stop it.
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    Apr 23, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    He doesn't respect you. Say good bye. How long are you going to let yourself be treated with disrespect all for a "relationship" with a big dick (and I'm not necessarily talking about the one in his pants). Your self-esteem that low?
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Apr 23, 2013 5:28 PM GMT
    Wow! If he allows guys to grab his junk and rub up all over him in public and in front of you, what the hell does he do in private and behind your back? icon_eek.gif Shady!
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    Apr 23, 2013 5:32 PM GMT
    It's kind of obvious your boyfriend has no respect for you. I wouldn't accept that sort of behaviour, and you shouldn't have to.
  • imbrad

    Posts: 377

    Apr 23, 2013 5:35 PM GMT
    Jealousy is for bitches... now this situation is different. He is being a disrespectful prick. My ex cheated on me a lot. I was never jealous but it did take me a while to learn that i deserve better. If not better treatment then a better guy all together.