The top 15 Reasons why most gay/bi men are still single.

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    Apr 23, 2013 8:34 PM GMT


    http://www.discreetcity.com/1/post/2012/03/top-15-reasons-that-youre-still-a-single-masculine-gaybisexual-man.html

    Lol, great read, very true. I fit into like 4 or 6 of those categories. Hopefully, all of us can learn from these *expectations.
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    Apr 23, 2013 9:12 PM GMT
    I fit the clingy relationship type to a tee, lol. I always try to cuff guys too quick. I'm just too desperate. I don't know how to let things breathe. I'm afraid they'll lose interest quickly and leave me.
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    Apr 23, 2013 9:19 PM GMT
    My number 1 issue is the last one. My timing sucks, so bad.
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    Apr 23, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif All those pictures were of African Americans.

    I think #2 is definitely true for ALOT of us.
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    Apr 23, 2013 10:11 PM GMT
    Slim2010 saidicon_eek.gif All those pictures were of African Americans.

    I think #2 is definitely true for ALOT of us.


    I found it refreshing they all were of African Americans. For once homosexuality was not being viewed through the lens of the privileged white male.
  • BryUSC88

    Posts: 198

    Apr 24, 2013 12:30 AM GMT
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Slim2010 saidicon_eek.gif All those pictures were of African Americans.

    I think #2 is definitely true for ALOT of us.


    I found it refreshing they all were of African Americans. For once homosexuality was not being viewed through the lens of the privileged white male.


    I remember seeing that ex NBA player that came out after he retired from the NBA. He was on Oprah, and he said that after he came out, people actually came up to him and said that they didn't know black guys could be gay.
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    Apr 24, 2013 12:34 AM GMT
    BryUSC88 said
    MashogaNubianPrince said
    Slim2010 saidicon_eek.gif All those pictures were of African Americans.

    I think #2 is definitely true for ALOT of us.


    I found it refreshing they all were of African Americans. For once homosexuality was not being viewed through the lens of the privileged white male.


    I remember seeing that ex NBA player that came out after he retired from the NBA. He was on Oprah, and he said that after he came out, people actually came up to him and said that they didn't know black guys could be gay.


    Growing up my parents told me that homosexuality was a white mans thing. My father said Europeans introduced that 'perversion' to the world and that black people weren't exposed to that kind of thing in Africa since we were more godly.

    And yet they ignore that black people did not become Christians until we got here. The black community loves to do this sort of rewriting and erasing of our actual history to accommodate their lack of awareness.

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    Apr 24, 2013 1:28 AM GMT
    I don't think it matters so much about race. It's true though all Black guys pictures. We all have the same problems. I agreed with most of these. Esp. the top # 2, #1 !!! Yep, I've done it so many times.
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    Apr 24, 2013 1:35 AM GMT
    sad but true to all of these, you can even add a few more.....

    hopefully with the universal acceptance of gay marriage on the near horizon, our own community, especially us gay men, will culturally shift.

    im sure most if not all of these have been because of our cultural suppression by the "anti's" for thousands of years, we as gay men have been conditioned to hide ourselves, sneek around, be closeted, DL and hook up. The anti's have shamed us and we are finally breaking free and unashamed, (some of us)

    its like a new born, i hope one day we blend with all other men that none of this other superficial shit matters and the "50% divorce rate" will one day apply to us too, its interesting that Lesbians have very different reasons for being single and are more likley to find partners easy

    unless you throw all this away and just say men in general are wired sex pigs, im sure str8 women want to know "why do men cheat?", again, Lesbians have the long term relationship advantage, NO MEN involved...icon_razz.gif
  • DR2K

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    Apr 24, 2013 9:08 AM GMT
    I keep dating nut jobs, my number 1 reason.
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    Apr 24, 2013 9:33 AM GMT
    out and proud!!!
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    Apr 24, 2013 10:27 AM GMT
    I loved this quote from reason 4, regarding ageism:

    "After 27 years old, you're like an old loaf of bread"

    icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 24, 2013 10:30 AM GMT
    whateveryo saidI loved this quote from reason 4, regarding ageism:

    "After 27 years old, you're like an old loaf of bread"

    icon_lol.gif


    wow! well it's not much longer til I become an old loaf of bread.
    works out for the best I guess.
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    Apr 24, 2013 8:32 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidI loved this quote from reason 4, regarding ageism:

    "After 27 years old, you're like an old loaf of bread"

    icon_lol.gif


    Yet so many guys chase after older guys older than 27 !! icon_lol.gificon_wink.gif
  • Fritter

    Posts: 1696

    Apr 24, 2013 8:40 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidI loved this quote from reason 4, regarding ageism:

    "After 27 years old, you're like an old loaf of bread"

    icon_lol.gif


    After 27 years? I must be extra moldy by now! icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 24, 2013 8:42 PM GMT
    Hahaha, true. Thanks for sharing icon_smile.gif.
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    Apr 24, 2013 9:14 PM GMT
    Shout out to the 14s! lmao
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 24, 2013 9:24 PM GMT
    Slim2010 saidicon_eek.gif All those pictures were of African Americans.

    I think #2 is definitely true for ALOT of us.


    Well if you look at the whole site, it is geared toward gay men of color
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 24, 2013 9:47 PM GMT
    Joeyphx444 saidWell if you look at the whole site, it is geared toward gay men of color

    Exactly. It is an interesting web site for a lot of reasons but that is the focus.

    As for the 15 reasons, they have a lot of truth.

    There are others, though, that I can think of:

    Most of us don't date as teenagers. Even if we're sexually active as teens, "dating," which means going out and having fun with someone we're interested in for sex and potential partnership, isn't socially accepted.

    We don't have positive gay couple roll models in our families, neighborhoods and in the media. On the contrary, what we see all around us are 'heteronormative' couples. I will argue that these are NOT good roll models for gay relationships. I don't mean to say they have no value at all, but gay relationships are different from straight ones in unique ways too numerous to even begin to list.

    Typically men have a more difficulty being in touch with and expressing their true feelings, especially when those feelings aren't socially or culturally 'acceptable'.

    Related to the above, it is very difficult for us to distinguish "lust" from "love." But even when we're sure it is more the latter than the former, it is often difficult to express and sometimes difficult to accept. We often 'think' we want to be loved, and it is true we do, but when it comes right down to it, the expression of it often feels like a 'trap'.

    This is the area of "intimacy," between men that is more than just sex and to me it is THE #1 reason most gay/bi w/e men are single.

    Having a relationship means BOTH men have to be willing to get beyond sexuality and fantasy to the reality of being loved by and in love with another man.
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    Apr 24, 2013 9:59 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidI loved this quote from reason 4, regarding ageism:

    "After 27 years old, you're like an old loaf of bread"

    icon_lol.gif

    But you forgot the rest of it, the part I resonate more with:

    "...your edges start to harden until you are 40 and you're ready to just be thrown into the trash. "
  • tnlifter

    Posts: 76

    Apr 24, 2013 10:25 PM GMT
    I was rather dubious of this when I first saw it, as I am with most junk found on the internet. But I read it anyway. The author does make some very valid points, and I have seen the reasons in action with others and some with my own actions.

    I went on to read "Friends with Exes", which almost every gay man should be required to read. A guy that still is "friends" with his ex is relationship poison. I run as fast and as hard as I can from these types. They take on, whining and crying about how they cheated and treated them oh so badly, then talk about how wonderful their friendship is. My reply:

    "If a guy treated you that way, he was never your friend in the first place. A friend would not do another friend like this. If you ever break up with this idiot, maybe we can try again. Otherwise, I'm outta here!"
  • tnlifter

    Posts: 76

    Apr 24, 2013 10:28 PM GMT
    eb925guy said
    whateveryo saidI loved this quote from reason 4, regarding ageism:

    "After 27 years old, you're like an old loaf of bread"

    icon_lol.gif

    But you forgot the rest of it, the part I resonate more with:

    "...your edges start to harden until you are 40 and you're ready to just be thrown into the trash. "


    If this is true, at almost 50, I am somewhere between dessicated and fossilized. LOL
  • Android17

    Posts: 346

    Apr 24, 2013 10:37 PM GMT
    2,7 and unfortunately 14 for me, such I big issue, I just get too excited before timing and always get dumb and heartbroken for people that I just met.icon_confused.gif
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 24, 2013 10:51 PM GMT
    tnlifter saidIf this is true, at almost 50, I am somewhere between dessicated and fossilized. LOL

    Fossilized. Yep, that would be me.
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    Apr 24, 2013 10:56 PM GMT
    ok