Post second date advice

  • Rich_Chambo

    Posts: 22

    Apr 24, 2013 5:59 AM GMT
    I have been 2 dates with a guy I met online. 1st date we met up for a drink and it seemed to go well.

    I asked him out again a couple of days after and he accepted and we decided on a movie date. I drove down to him as he lives an hour away and he doesn't drive. It seemed to go well even though you can't really talk much through a film but we had a quick drink after before I had to come home.

    Now the problem - the date was on Saturday night and it is now Wednesday and I have heard nothing from him. He said on the date that his phone has broke and he will be in contact with the new number and that I can contact him via facebook. On Sunday I sent him a message thanking him for a good night and thanked him for paying and that I would love to meet up again soon and I would treat him. He has seen the message and he has been active on facebook but not responding to my message and he still hasn't got a new phone number. Should I be worried and do you think he is still interested?
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    Apr 24, 2013 1:54 PM GMT
    It could be that he's busy with work. Give him time!
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    Apr 24, 2013 4:26 PM GMT
    I've never had the best luck with people who asked me to contact them on Facebook - it's definitely not my favorite way of communicating.

    The message you sent him sounded like a simple thank you. That type of message doesn't really require a response. In the future, you may want to ask a question or say something that more clearly keeps the door open for continued conversation.

    Like Erik101 said, give it some time, at least until the end of the week. If you don't hear from him by Saturday, maybe shoot him another message asking if he would like to meet up again soon. If he doesn't respond to that, then he's probably not interested.
  • chi_rock

    Posts: 207

    Apr 24, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    bosjock90 saidIf someone is interested, they will stop it nothing to make it known.

    Saying his number has changed, or not answering facebook messages for many days when he says that's the best way to contact him, is, in my opinion, a pretty obvious way of him saying "No thanks".



    Sorry to say I agree.
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    Apr 24, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    I would definitely move on, i mean it shouldn't be that hard to tell someone you're not interested, people should just grow a pair and tell the other person off the bat if they already know they're not interested, why the all running around, its not elementary school. I'd rather someone be honest and up front with it, and i wont even want to know what i did wrong, or what i could've done better, or vice versa. that way ill have a closure and move on with my sweet life.
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    Apr 24, 2013 8:31 PM GMT
    Aristoshark saidHe is not interested. Move along.


    THIS:

    Sorry man :/

    On the bright side, it's one less guy to date to finally find your soul mate icon_smile.gif.
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    Apr 24, 2013 8:51 PM GMT
    He just made up the excuse of getting a new phone to *lie to you. He's not into you buddy. Harsh but true, if I like someone, I'll text or call and be in general excitement. The rules of dating - it would be nice to say no and let people down easy but gay men have so much drama sometimes, I feel like they have no balls to do this. I usually wait like 1 or 2 days the most for a reply, if not, I'll move on.

    The other thing about facebook, that's like my private sanctity. I approved guys whom I dated in the past, once I became not interested and ignored them. They got really mad, either wrote many messages on my wall like *I like you, how come you don't text or call me back or they just deleted my profile. Urh, lesson learned, be careful of who you approve and can see your facebook.


  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 24, 2013 9:13 PM GMT
    I know you only had 2 dates but if you keep having to initiate the dates and everything, then it seems one sided. This is my #1 problem icon_sad.gif

    I just think that if the guy doesn't contact you after a few days or a week then he won't contact you. So, instead of thinking he's not interested and moving on, I contact him to hang out again and he accepts. I don't know if he's shy or just letting me be the initiator or if he's just being nice. I also wouldn't add someone to Facebook with whom I only had 2 dates with
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    Apr 24, 2013 9:26 PM GMT
    Joeyphx444 saidI know you only had 2 dates but if you keep having to initiate the dates and everything, then it seems one sided. This is my #1 problem icon_sad.gif

    I just think that if the guy doesn't contact you after a few days or a week then he won't contact you. So, instead of thinking he's not interested and moving on, I contact him to hang out again and he accepts. I don't know if he's shy or just letting me be the initiator or if he's just being nice. I also wouldn't add someone to Facebook with whom I only had 2 dates with


    With no intentions of offending or anything, we seriously need to stop thinking that the other one's always shy or whatever excuse we come across to justify the other person's acts. Truth is that most likely if the other person doesn't try to contact us then he's not interested. Period. Blunt but true. Move on.
    Eventually and hopefully, we'll find someone who's interested in us as well and who'll overcome his shyness (in case he's shy or whatever barrier we use as an excuse to justify why he's avoiding us) to ask us out or contact us.
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    Apr 24, 2013 9:31 PM GMT
    A_X91 said
    Aristoshark saidHe is not interested. Move along.

    THIS:

    Sorry man :/

    On the bright side, it's one less guy to date to finally find your soul mate icon_smile.gif.

    I have to agree, too. Guys who interested me got calls back or emails pretty quickly - I didn't want us losing the momentum, or somebody else moving in on me. And the other guys were the same way with me.

    Give him maybe a week to call back, he may have a lot on his plate. After a week, he's likely cleaned his plate.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Apr 24, 2013 9:56 PM GMT
    A_X91 said
    Joeyphx444 saidI know you only had 2 dates but if you keep having to initiate the dates and everything, then it seems one sided. This is my #1 problem icon_sad.gif

    I just think that if the guy doesn't contact you after a few days or a week then he won't contact you. So, instead of thinking he's not interested and moving on, I contact him to hang out again and he accepts. I don't know if he's shy or just letting me be the initiator or if he's just being nice. I also wouldn't add someone to Facebook with whom I only had 2 dates with


    With no intentions of offending or anything, we seriously need to stop thinking that the other one's always shy or whatever excuse we come across to justify the other person's acts. Truth is that most likely if the other person doesn't try to contact us then he's not interested. Period. Blunt but true. Move on.
    Eventually and hopefully, we'll find someone who's interested in us as well and who'll overcome his shyness (in case he's shy or whatever barrier we use as an excuse to justify why he's avoiding us) to ask us out or contact us.


    Then how do you explain you contacting him and he WANTS to hang out and you do have a good time? People really would waste their time stringing you along?

    It could be the situation of him waiting for you and you waiting for him and no contact is made lol
    Sorry I am challenging you but you have to consider this stuff, even though you are probably right
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 24, 2013 9:59 PM GMT
    get his name tattooed on your peen to show you care
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    Apr 24, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    Joeyphx444 said
    A_X91 said
    Joeyphx444 saidI know you only had 2 dates but if you keep having to initiate the dates and everything, then it seems one sided. This is my #1 problem icon_sad.gif

    I just think that if the guy doesn't contact you after a few days or a week then he won't contact you. So, instead of thinking he's not interested and moving on, I contact him to hang out again and he accepts. I don't know if he's shy or just letting me be the initiator or if he's just being nice. I also wouldn't add someone to Facebook with whom I only had 2 dates with


    With no intentions of offending or anything, we seriously need to stop thinking that the other one's always shy or whatever excuse we come across to justify the other person's acts. Truth is that most likely if the other person doesn't try to contact us then he's not interested. Period. Blunt but true. Move on.
    Eventually and hopefully, we'll find someone who's interested in us as well and who'll overcome his shyness (in case he's shy or whatever barrier we use as an excuse to justify why he's avoiding us) to ask us out or contact us.


    Then how do you explain you contacting him and he WANTS to hang out and you do have a good time? People really would waste their time stringing you along?

    It could be the situation of him waiting for you and you waiting for him and no contact is made lol
    Sorry I am challenging you but you have to consider this stuff, even though you are probably right


    1. I think that is just another excuse.
    2. If you've shown him that you do like him already, that should be enough for him to overcome whatever it is that it's keeping him away from contacting you.
    3. And the most important one, I want someone who wants to be with me as well, even if he's shy or whatever that's not enough of a reason for leaving all the work to me to start a relationship, IMO. If you want to be with me, show me that you want to be with me.
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    Apr 25, 2013 4:13 AM GMT
    If a guy is into you he will move mountains to get in contact with you. This one isnt move on
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    Apr 25, 2013 4:22 AM GMT
    Rich_Chambo saidI have been 2 dates with a guy I met online. 1st date we met up for a drink and it seemed to go well.

    I asked him out again a couple of days after and he accepted and we decided on a movie date. I drove down to him as he lives an hour away and he doesn't drive. It seemed to go well even though you can't really talk much through a film but we had a quick drink after before I had to come home.

    Now the problem - the date was on Saturday night and it is now Wednesday and I have heard nothing from him. He said on the date that his phone has broke and he will be in contact with the new number and that I can contact him via facebook. On Sunday I sent him a message thanking him for a good night and thanked him for paying and that I would love to meet up again soon and I would treat him. He has seen the message and he has been active on facebook but not responding to my message and he still hasn't got a new phone number. Should I be worried and do you think he is still interested?


    Give it a few more days, and maybe send another email, and if he is non responsive.....move on.

    If he REALLY digs you (I know, it dates me), he should be sending sweet messages, or voice calling you, by now.

    There may be something he has not told you; maybe he's just a jerk; might be he is busy (everyone checks Facebook); or he's just not that into you.

    It's hard to get to know someone at a movie.

    You can call him. Voice communication is almost always superior to any other mode.

    If he doesn't have the decency to tell you no, and ignores you, realize, he's an asshole, anyway.
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    Apr 25, 2013 4:24 AM GMT
    calibro saidget his name tattooed on your peen to show you care


    Nothing like a wrongful tattoo. LMAO. Too funny.
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    Apr 25, 2013 4:25 AM GMT
    xsocalguy8x saidHe just made up the excuse of getting a new phone to *lie to you. He's not into you buddy. Harsh but true, if I like someone, I'll text or call and be in general excitement. The rules of dating - it would be nice to say no and let people down easy but gay men have so much drama sometimes, I feel like they have no balls to do this. I usually wait like 1 or 2 days the most for a reply, if not, I'll move on.



    Sad, but, quite true.
  • Rich_Chambo

    Posts: 22

    Apr 25, 2013 6:15 AM GMT
    Thanks for the advice guys.

    I sent him a message on facebook telling him when I am free and gave a few suggestions on what to do (most of them involve quiet places to give us chance to get to know each other better). He did reply saying he would check his work shifts and let me know.

    He still hasn't sent me a phone number so I can still only contact him on facebook. Maybe he hasn't had time to get a new one or his phone is being repaired? I think that is the problem because I can't ring him. Anyway I am going to let him contact me now as he knows when I am free so it's up to him now.