You tell your boyfriend you love him.... and he doesn't say it back..

  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Apr 24, 2013 6:57 PM GMT
    What do u do?

    Let's say they have been exclusively dating for 8 months. One says "I love you" and he does not say it back.

    How does one go about that?
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    Apr 24, 2013 7:05 PM GMT
    How well do you two communicate with each other? If it's very well, then ask him. Hopefully, he'll be straight up and tell you why he hasn't said those 3 words to you yet.
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    Apr 24, 2013 7:09 PM GMT
    Have you guys been on issues lately? I would say just wait some more time patiently and positive times will roll.

    If above is not the case, then some men are very tightly lipped and consider those three words as a Magic. It comes very rare on special occasions but firmly.
  • rudolphe

    Posts: 156

    Apr 24, 2013 7:12 PM GMT
    Well I don't claim to be an expert on relationships and I'm sure there's at least 40 other members who could dish out better advice, but I guess I would tell your friend to just take a step back in relax. His bf probably just wasn't ready for a comment like that, but it doesn't mean he doesn't care.

    Maybe it would be wise if your friend sat down with his bf and apologized for putting him into an awkward situation and that he doesn't have to say anything if he's not ready to, but that your friend was just letting the bf know how he feels.

  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Apr 24, 2013 7:25 PM GMT
    Ouch! In person or on the phone?
  • WApilot

    Posts: 191

    Apr 24, 2013 7:57 PM GMT
    If he doesn't say it back, don't flip out. Have a conversation. Maybe he doesn't want to say it too soon, just because one says it first, respect that he didn't say it back JUST because you said it.

    If you two have a great relationship, great communication skills, and a potential future, slow it down, let him reach that conclusion honestly on his own, it'll feel 10x better when he says it because he actually means it and not because you said it first.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Apr 24, 2013 8:29 PM GMT
    great_scott saidOuch! In person or on the phone?

    In person.
  • mika

    Posts: 11

    Apr 26, 2013 7:26 PM GMT
    don't apologize.he should have undrestood the situation!

  • Apr 26, 2013 7:30 PM GMT
    Question. Did he use to say "I Love You" a lot? I am one of those who doesn't like to say that all the time. It doesn't mean I don't care.
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    Apr 26, 2013 7:34 PM GMT
    Meh...don't get all hormonal...

  • blueyedgrey20...

    Posts: 285

    Apr 26, 2013 7:45 PM GMT
    I'm guessing your reffering to yourself. So if your boyfreind never say's it back then A: you may have a problem or B: hes not a guy that say's it alot,some guys are like that. But if he has said it before than he probably does not want to overuse that word or does not love you.
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    Apr 26, 2013 8:13 PM GMT
    either he doesn't love you back or that he's not ready, either way, you can't force someone to say those words if they don't want to. Just talk to him, see where his head is at, maybe he's mad at you about something. I don't say those words until I know for sure, I've been burn in the past before so I'm more cautious now.
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    Apr 26, 2013 8:16 PM GMT
    Import saidWhat do u do?

    Let's say they have been exclusively dating for 8 months. One says "I love you" and he does not say it back.

    How does one go about that?


    Best to not say something that we don't feel.

    Remember: folks don't always feel the same way about us as we do about them.

    It's a fact of life.

    Other folks aren't as expressive, but, in this case, sounds like he didn't want to respond in kind because he doesn't feel as you do.

    You can only control you; not him.

    Saying "I love you" can means lots of different things.

    If you NEED him to say it, you're in the wrong relationship.

    As we grow through life, sometimes, we have relationships of convenience, that promote a synergism, but, it's not love in the sense of deep felt affection.
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    Apr 26, 2013 8:21 PM GMT

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2013 8:21 PM GMT
    xsocalguy8x saideither he doesn't love you back or that he's not ready, either way, you can't force someone to say those words if they don't want to. Just talk to him, see where his head is at, maybe he's mad at you about something. I don't say those words until I know for sure, I've been burn in the past before so I'm more cautious now.


    I wouldn't over analyze this too much.

    If he feels like saying the words "I love you" he will.

    Three weeks ago, my ex roommate's dad called me. At the end of the call, he said, "Love ya, love ya, love ya, love ya you very much."

    Those words have different contexts.

    Some folks use them all the time.

    You may have to accept that he doesn't feel towards you that same deep affection that you are trying to express.

    Certainly, don't push the issue. It will drive a wedge between you.

    Some folks are terrible emotionally towards displays or actions of affection or praise. In my own instance, my father has not once, ever, told me he was proud of me, or loved me, or hugged me, etc. He always tell me how I will fail. Does he love me? Probably. Is he proud of me? Maybe. Do I like my dad? Not really. He's never done much than make me feel bad when I interact with him. Can I fix it? No. I told him "I'm not going to call you anymore if you run me into the ground ever time I speak to you, so you get to decide if you want to be old and alone, or decent."

    Some folks don't do affection well, and, you may have to accept that. Some folks CAN'T do affection well, for various reasons: They don't feel it. They are autistic. They have deeply rooted defense mechanisms. And, so on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2013 8:29 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Shawnathan saidWhat is love?

    Find your answer within.....



    omg Dave you're so A W E S O M E !!
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Apr 26, 2013 8:40 PM GMT
    If his actions show he does, don't stress about it. If not, maybe a conversation is in need (or adjusting your expectations for this relationship).
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    Apr 26, 2013 8:43 PM GMT
    Take the ball-gag off.

    Then again, he might just start screaming. icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 26, 2013 8:47 PM GMT
    Okay back to you OP

    honestly speaking, for me its definitely one of the most fearful thing... subject on how long its been I know him, I mean if i were to put it in your shoe it would very likely crack my heart like a car windscreen. 12.gif

    another possibility on a different angle It could be that "He" felt it so deeply he just couldn't say anything more....If that's the case give him a few days and see if he does anything special or not.. if so it might clearly mean something he takes that word from you.,,wait that's not the END from there on when (if) things don't seem anymore awkward and everything looks is like normal you could ask him openly.

    Why didn't he say anything of that very day, no harm be open! you don't have to worry there on. Now at that point you will most likely know the whole picture....

    Sometimes you got to cut your emotions out completely, like your soul is out of the body / be out of the box and then observe the situation and things in a different prospective in 3D best part it is still you studying your case. If you could do that then it is not really an issue for you.

    After the black and white, it's up to you to close the chapter or not.

    my honest opinion.icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 26, 2013 8:49 PM GMT
    Perhaps your mail order lover is not understanding your english...icon_idea.gif
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    Apr 26, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    I'd say the ball's in his court now and there's not much you can do but keep going through the relationship if that's what you want.
  • wherewillwebe

    Posts: 120

    Apr 27, 2013 2:33 AM GMT
    Dahas saidI'd say the ball's in his court now and there's not much you can do but keep going through the relationship if that's what you want.



    this..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2013 2:46 AM GMT
    it means you're meant for me and not him
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2013 2:48 AM GMT
    maim him and tie him to your bed?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2013 2:51 AM GMT
    Import saidWhat do u do?

    Let's say they have been exclusively dating for 8 months. One says "I love you" and he does not say it back.

    How does one go about that?



    Ghost-ghost-5101870-852-480.jpg
    Depends. Did he happen to say the word "ditto"?