Contacted by Fundamentalist Relative. How do I handle this?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 3:20 AM GMT
    There are very few females that I have ever idolized as a kid, but one of my older first cousins is one of them. I always admired her and looked up to her. She wasn't afraid of anything and would walk up to an entire room full of people and give a speech and own the room. She was a gymnast and incredibly athletic and played a variety of musical instruments. All the while making straight A's in school. It seemed there was nothing she couldn't do.

    Well, she moved away to rural Oklahoma many years ago, got married and had kids. She started some kind of Fundamentalist ministry program and church. Apparently she travels the world trying to convert people in other countries to Christianity (which I have a problem with). I looked up her Facebook profile and practically every photo mentions "The Lord". One photo is a picture of her little red convertible sports car and the caption beneath reads "The Lord gave me this car. God is so good!" Of course I'm thinking...."God gave you a sports car but is letting millions of children starve to death?" I mean I'm guessing that car was bought with money, so all of this just makes my head spin.

    Although I've been wanting to talk to her again all these years, I'm afraid she's going to be pushy with this religion stuff. But if something were to happen to her and I rejected her friend request, I would feel terrible. So I know I should probably connect with her but at the same time I don't see this ending well. What would you do if you were me?
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Apr 25, 2013 3:34 AM GMT
    No offense to your cousin, but I feel as though people who constantly reference God with regards to every little thing might suffer from some sort of mental impairment. I call it zealotry.

    I'm not bashing religion or anything, but people like your cousin don't seem to realize that they can be extremely annoying, as is the case with anyone who only talks on a single subject and nothing else. All work and no play...

    Anyways...

    I would just accept the friend request. I'm guessing you're concerned because you think she doesn't agree with homosexuality or something? Well, if she gives you any jaw, just flat out ignore her. If it gets to be a problem you can always unfriend her.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 3:38 AM GMT
    Unintended saidOh Lord.


    So you saw her Facebook profile too? icon_surprised.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 3:43 AM GMT
    I would accept the request, then I would put her posts on ignore. and let her initiate communication. That way if she does get pushy you can then respond that you are not interested and would like for her not to bring it up again. and if it becomes apparent that her only mission is to convert not reconnect then you can firmly and confidently say goodbye.

    been there. although it wasn't a blood relative but family none the less.

    good luck
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 4:25 AM GMT
    It's a LinkedIn request...not Facebook. I just looked her up on Facebook. I don't think you have all those options on LinkedIn.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 25, 2013 4:29 AM GMT
    Congratulations ... you have turned a corner ... it's always difficult when we realize our childhood idols are no longer the people we idolized them for. icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 5:12 AM GMT
    Give her the benefit of a doubt...maybe she'll admire that you're your own person.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Apr 25, 2013 5:22 AM GMT
    I don't see any harm in accepting a linkedin request. Beyond that, well, one step at a time. (My whole family are fundys and I have nothing to do with them.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 5:46 AM GMT
    One thing that you have in your favor is that you've already done a little research on her current lifestyle. If you choose to engage in a conversation with her, you can prepare for the fact that she will probably try to proselytize.

    Also, LinkedIn is a more discreet site than Facebook, so you probably won't be bombarded with her fundamentalist posts if you friend her. It might be easier to keep a professional, cordial tone while interacting on a site like that.

    If you choose not to friend her, I wouldn't feel guilty about it. In my experiences with LinkedIn, most people I know only use it occasionally, and many friend requests that I've sent (to people I know well) have been ignored. Even my best buddy has yet to accept my request! icon_lol.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 8:56 AM GMT
    she's like me.
    i don't convert but show people a proper way to christianity.
    i have evangelized approx. 500 muslims

    but im not a fundie , bible is a spiritual book ,u need ur heart to understand it not ur eyes ,

    i have 2 insane fundamentalist christian cousins , who are a shame to christianity ,
    they're hopeless , brainless , uneducated & rude.
    i doubt if they're even christ followers , whenever they approach me ,i always wish i can slap them but i quietly move off ,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 9:11 AM GMT
    Accept the linked-in request, but if she tries to start converting you via linked-in, report her for improper use of the site.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 9:30 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidOne photo is a picture of her little red convertible sports car and the caption beneath reads "The Lord gave me this car. God is so good!"

    If the engine or transmission fails will she likewise blame God and lose her faith? Or merely blame herself for not having gotten God's Extended Service Plan?

    Reminds me of the survivors of natural disasters like tornadoes, who proclaim to the TV cameras that "The Lord saved us". Then how come the Lord killed your neighbors? Think the Lord judged you better than them? That's nice of you.

    And how come the Lord destroyed your house while you were down in the storm shelter? Maybe just to remind you that He could kill you if He wanted, and a little punishment for missing church last week?

    No wonder some of these fundies are so arrogant & sure in their beliefs, when they've got God as their personal sponsor & protector. Nothing like an endorsement from the Almighty Himself to make you above doubt or criticism.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 9:48 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    Although I've been wanting to talk to her again all these years, I'm afraid she's going to be pushy with this religion stuff. But if something were to happen to her and I rejected her friend request, I would feel terrible. So I know I should probably connect with her but at the same time I don't see this ending well. What would you do if you were me?

    We ignore the Republican propaganda email we get from one of his family members. Not Christian, but the problem is similar. We don't wanna cause a family rift by objecting and causing a confrontation. We've gently made known that we don't read it, but it keeps coming, daily as an election approaches.

    This relative thinks it's OK to impose extreme Right Wing political views on us, when it's known we're active in the Democratic Party. And it's usually distorted & misleading material, the kind of dishonest trash some Righties post here on RJ.

    What, are we supposed to convert because of it? Is it OK if we send Liberal material back? We thought about doing that, but it might increase the activity, not lessen it.

    So we just ignore it, as soon as I read the email subject from this person I delete the message. An annoyance in our mail boxes, but fortunately not too time consuming to clean it out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 25, 2013 2:38 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    Scruffypup said
    Although I've been wanting to talk to her again all these years, I'm afraid she's going to be pushy with this religion stuff. But if something were to happen to her and I rejected her friend request, I would feel terrible. So I know I should probably connect with her but at the same time I don't see this ending well. What would you do if you were me?

    We ignore the Republican propaganda email we get from one of his family members. Not Christian, but the problem is similar. We don't wanna cause a family rift by objecting and causing a confrontation. We've gently made known that we don't read it, but it keeps coming, daily as an election approaches.

    This relative thinks it's OK to impose extreme Right Wing political views on us, when it's known we're active in the Democratic Party. And it's usually distorted & misleading material, the kind of dishonest trash some Righties post here on RJ.

    What, are we supposed to convert because of it? Is it OK if we send Liberal material back? We thought about doing that, but it might increase the activity, not lessen it.

    So we just ignore it, as soon as I read the email subject from this person I delete the message. An annoyance in our mail boxes, but fortunately not too time consuming to clean it out.



    As you can probably tell from my posts on this site, I speak what's on my mind. I guess maybe that's partly immaturity but a big part of that comes from feeling beat down by my religious family as a kid. So now when someone tries to sell me bullshit, I call them on it. That's what I meant when I said "I don't see this ending well". So maybe it's time I learn to keep my mouth shut? I don't know.