Having no REAL friends...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 2:43 AM GMT
    I have one close friend. That's it. Everyone else is just an acquaintance, and I can't rely on them for shit.

    Everyone that knows me says I'm funny, nice, etc. Yet I basically have no friends except for one and it just sucks because sometimes I get really lonely. I just wish I had that group of buddies that I could go out drinking with on the weekends, go on vacation with, to the movies, concerts, whatever. It sucks being 22 and spending your Friday and Saturday nights alone most of the time.

    Ok, that's enough of my sob story. Anyone else relate? How do you cope?
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 28, 2013 3:30 AM GMT
    You can change this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 3:40 AM GMT
    What have you done to make better friends? You get out of life what you put into it.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 28, 2013 3:49 AM GMT
    steelguitar saidI have one close friend. ....


    For the life of me I can't see why you think you have a problem?
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    Apr 28, 2013 4:09 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidYou can change this.


    Yes, friendless-in-New York.
    Really New York and you cant find ONE.

    idk...I try and try, it's like pulling teeth to get a guy dude to meet up for anything other than to get laid.

    Over and over, they all flake on you--say they are lonely and just want to make a friend, then find out your in a relationship and it's a different story.

    Swear it's worse than dating Woman.

    Next time someone you're completely turned off by asks to hang out...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 4:28 AM GMT
    steelguitar saidI have one close friend. That's it. Everyone else is just an acquaintance, and I can't rely on them for shit.

    Everyone that knows me says I'm funny, nice, etc. Yet I basically have no friends except for one and it just sucks because sometimes I get really lonely. I just wish I had that group of buddies that I could go out drinking with on the weekends, go on vacation with, to the movies, concerts, whatever. It sucks being 22 and spending your Friday and Saturday nights alone most of the time.

    Ok, that's enough of my sob story. Anyone else relate? How do you cope?


    You know, not being out to a degree where you can connect with other guys easily has bearing on this, I think. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 4:47 AM GMT
    I totally feel you, I'm the same exact way.

    I feel like I have only one friend that I can trust with my life. We talk almost everyday, go to dinner atleast once a week and have random 7/11 "slurpee runs" on any given night.

    I get lonely and depressd really easily, but we talk almost everyday and it makes me feel that much better.

    Strangely enough, I met him on Grindr. That just goes to show you that some people are really "just lookin' for friends". I'll probably upload a pic of us together soon (if he's ok with it).

  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 28, 2013 6:58 AM GMT
    put out more
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 7:03 AM GMT
    calibro saidput out more


    HAHA, I can relate but I like it this way. I don't drink or go to clubs anymore but even when I did I sometimes went alone guys come up to you and buy you drink it's fun. I'm a loner and I like it so I don't know what to say to you just get more friends I mean it's not really that hard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 7:10 AM GMT
    Be glad you have at least one. If you have the time to make friends, then you are bound to get more. And if people seem to like you on principle, then you'll have no problem. I don't have anything to add to your situation, just keep trying.
  • Just_Tim

    Posts: 1723

    Apr 28, 2013 7:13 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    steelguitar saidI have one close friend. ....


    For the life of me I can't see why you think you have a problem?


    This is a very good response. I also have only one GOOD friend.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 7:26 AM GMT
    I just danced my ass off and got totally wasted with a bunch of friends.
    FUCK IT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 8:04 AM GMT
    You sound a lot like me. I only have one really good close friend as well. There's nothing wrong with that. Better having one amazing friend than a bunch of crappy ass friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 8:08 AM GMT
    Enjoy your own company. You'll have fewer headaches that way
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 8:23 AM GMT
    steelguitar saidI have one close friend. That's it. Everyone else is just an acquaintance, and I can't rely on them for shit.

    Everyone that knows me says I'm funny, nice, etc. Yet I basically have no friends except for one and it just sucks because sometimes I get really lonely. I just wish I had that group of buddies that I could go out drinking with on the weekends, go on vacation with, to the movies, concerts, whatever. It sucks being 22 and spending your Friday and Saturday nights alone most of the time.

    Ok, that's enough of my sob story. Anyone else relate? How do you cope?


    In The Internet Age the number of average male good friends has declined from 3 in the 1960's to just 1.5 in 2010.

    What you are experiencing is partly the isolation of technology. I am appalled at the number of young people incapable of introductions, conversations, and any high speed communications, like voice.

    You have to meet REAL people in REAL places to build true relationships.

    In our compartmentalized world, post internet, it can be difficult. Many young folks today are incapable of introductions, like "Hi, I'm Chuck Gudgel. Pleased to meet you. What to you do for a living?"

    They cower behind their technology, being pussified, to be honest.

    Meet PEOPLE, real PEOPLE, and plenty of them. Eventually, you'll find the magic of a friend, a partner, or a fuck bud. It's a numbers game but you must shake some hands, put forth some smiles, have a face, and a first and last name, and know how to engage in conversation. That skills is lost among many youth today.

    Most jocks get the handshake and the smile thing, but, many gay folks that aren't jocks hide behind technology, self loathing, and pictureless profiles of a stupid torso shut...and....they suffer...needlessly.

    You want a friend. Don't send them a dick pic. Introduced yourself. Be engaging. Show yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 8:34 AM GMT
    Meh. It's not like everyone who lacks friends is sending out dick pics to everyone in the zip code or is incapable of carrying on a conversation. And i've found that when joining activities, people join for the activity and not necessarily for the people. Potential friends get busy, they're less willing to make room for new relationships, their lives are more planned out, etc.

    NYT had a good article on this a while back;
    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html?pagewanted=all
  • Shark100

    Posts: 234

    Apr 28, 2013 10:31 AM GMT
    I got the same problem, I live in one of the most livable cities in the world and find hard to find real friends, probably cause I am not into many things people normally do such as drinking and clubbing, do not mind to go out on the weekends but I dont do it often. I have my best friend who is lesbian but she is too busy working and we see each other every 2 months, would love to get more guys not for a relationship but for friendship, the other thing is that I am really quiet...and normally shy when strangers talk to me.....funny cause I do not mind to talk in front of a group of people (even if it is large) haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 10:49 AM GMT
    Friends are over rated. I know this because I over rate them.
    no-friend.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 10:57 AM GMT
    Due to the fact that I have been changing places, I need to do it all over again.
    I do try to go out, meet people but it's hard to make good friend like you make one while you are at high school or university.
    I have just arrived in this completely new town and even though I don't spend lonely weekends but it's not the same. I have met bunch of people and I have been going out, all of them are straight. I don't know, but after sometime it gets a bit boring, hanging out with straight people.

    It's really hard making gay friends, even more when almost whole of the scene is populated by guys in open relationship and they aren't looking anything beyond sex. I have seen guys writing on their profile something like, " My boyfriend comes first and then anything else". I do get that part but being so vocal about that makes you feel like you are some optional entertainment for them. So now I have finally stopped trying.
  • dommyinlosang...

    Posts: 261

    Apr 28, 2013 11:08 AM GMT
    steelguitar saidI have one close friend. That's it. Everyone else is just an acquaintance, and I can't rely on them for shit.

    Everyone that knows me says I'm funny, nice, etc. Yet I basically have no friends except for one and it just sucks because sometimes I get really lonely. I just wish I had that group of buddies that I could go out drinking with on the weekends, go on vacation with, to the movies, concerts, whatever. It sucks being 22 and spending your Friday and Saturday nights alone most of the time.

    Ok, that's enough of my sob story. Anyone else relate? How do you cope?


    make new friends... i have old friends and good friends and lesser friends but all good people... but i went out and made the friends myself... poker friends and gay horror movie night nerdy friends (thats gay guys watching horror not "gay horror") and game friends... sex friends... athletic friends (i need more of those) just find people with similar interests... and if someone doesnt live up to good friend status accept them the way they are... as long as good people... best to have as many around you as poss. had a birthday party months ago and had 60 people... most of which id call a or b level friends... all good guys
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 11:26 AM GMT
    calibro saidput out more


    THIS
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 11:28 AM GMT
    Im the same after a while i started saying fuck them and used it to my advantage. Its not like i wont accept u as a friend its just that im not gonna worry about it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 12:18 PM GMT
    I have this problem because my neighbors are all older than me with kids (ditto for co-workers). Most of my friends live out of town.

    Someone posted a similar thread a week ago about websites where you can meet other people. One of the websites was MeetUp.com

    I actually used it this past weekend and met up with a bunch of other LBGT people (ages mid-20s to 50s) and we went ziplining. It was fun and I got to meet other people.

    Just a thought. Otherwise, get involved in some type of hobby or community activity and you'll meet people and make friends that way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 12:24 PM GMT
    Hangout w/ your acquaintance's more and he or she might surprise you and become a friend. Friendships are never 50/50 all the time and ppl will disappoint you frm time to time. Grow frm it and move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 2:53 PM GMT
    Until you set out of the states