Single guy rants: Am I nuts to NOT wanna be in a relationship?

  • dominLA

    Posts: 261

    Apr 28, 2013 5:35 PM GMT
    my time on this planet as a gay man... i've never really shown the typical gay guy behavior, wants or desires... (and i'm not comparing to straights... i dont care about those people)

    Yes I desire penis and balls and stuff like that but there's so many things I don't share with my fellow gays... 1) ass... just not into topping or bottoming... i'm strictly an oral guy... 2) interior design... no style whatsoever... my place is decorated with old furniture, simpsons toys, horror movie posters and popcorn and cotton candy machine (more amusement park theme than (using high gay voice) "fabulous"... 3) no fag hag... while I do have a fat female friend we are just friends we don't do the fag hag hanging on she's single and lonely kind of thing hoping i was straight... 4) I love sports... not all sports but I get when guys like things like that... i'm into hockey and can enjoy random prof sports throughout the year when needed. 5) don't hate streisand or love her same goes for celine dion, bette midler, cher, madonna... 6) don't drink or smoke... 7) don't like to go to clubs or dance

    ok ok... but the main this is i have never desired a relationship... the concept freaks me out. while i understand the joys of having someone to share your burdens and pick you up when you are down and having a definite someone to come home to... i just never had that desire. i see it in MANY if not ALL of my friends... and it kind of gets me mad becasue i see how the hunt depresses them. and it also makes me feel like a total outsider in this outsider sex cult we are all in (relax i dont think it's really a cult)

    they are on this sad quest that if they don't succeed and the older they get not succeeding they feel like a failure. like there's something wrong with them. my view has always been you should be completely happy alone. once you are, then you're good and open enough to meet someone if it miraculously happens. if it doesn't... you're still happy. but i see so many friends end up in these relationships... followed by fighting, separation from their friends, they go from individuals to the creature known as couple... ugh. a few are happy but then even those end up breaking up and i'm like WTF?

    also i can't imagine not meeting new people... once you're in a relationship doesn't the collection of new buddies stop?... and to me of it feels so claustrophobic... seriously... the idea of coming home to the same person sounds on one hand fun but the restrictions of no sex with another guy and you often can't make new friends... that idea scares me. i can't tell you how many friendships got destroyed becasue the guy had a BF who was jealous of me (not that i think i am anything special to be jealous of trust me)

    i can see all the former friends faces in my head... like a montage in a bad 80s movie. sad. one called me up a few christmases later and just said i'm sorry and hung up. another chatted with me secretly online behind the bf's back. and these weren't guys i was having sex with. lol. they had to hide and feel guilty about just being friends.

    so i meander along single, meeting guys, making new friends, having fun NSA sex but actually usually continue those relationships as friends or FWB... i have a lot of friends who i consider my family and i would not have had the chance to meet a lot of these people with the restrictions of a fella

    then i get that sad look and reaction from the coupled friends who now pity me for being single... the longer i live and meet men the more my life resembles sex and the city episodes... they had a number of eps that dealt with the "i feel sad for you poor single gals"

    so basically this comes down to... am i warped for being so happy? why this obsession with coupling up? why is it supposed to be just 2 people at a time? is it gays attempt to be like straight people?

    and i can just hear the coupled ones out there going... "well you're happy now but you will end up alone and miserable..." but i really think that's their wish for people like me... they want to think singledom is somehow a doomed lifestyle becasue they chose to give it up and be in a stifling relationship.

    but i am truly happy for those who find actual coupled bliss... i know it does happen from time to time and if it happened to me it would be cool... i think... but if it doesn't i'm pretty happy.
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    Apr 28, 2013 5:43 PM GMT