Am I Just Meant to be Alone?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 8:18 PM GMT
    So I had a desperate moment and made a post about how lonely I was. That is over now. No, I didn't find someone, but I am done being sad and pathetic. Thanks to those who were encouraging. It is nice to know that people still use nettiquette.
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    Apr 28, 2013 8:37 PM GMT
    You're relying too much on technology, i think friendships (real friendships) should be more organic and natural. Try looking for friends without the Internet or apps, do activity you like that involves other people so you can start conversations easier. You should also try and be friends with someone who isn't gay, just because you are doesn't mean your friends should be. If you want a serious relationship you're going to have to put yourself out there which can be very difficult (trust me i know). And do not rely on the Internet most of the people on the Internet are just looking for sex. Talk to REAL people not the computer screen and you should be fine. icon_wink.gif

    Now, to follow my own advice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 28, 2013 8:45 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidYou're 21. A little too soon to be cursing yourself to forever alone. icon_wink.gif

    Keep working on becoming your "best self" and at the same time be receptive to meeting someone special. As you get older, you'll become better at radiating your light in such ways that the people you want to notice you will.

    Agreed. A premature self-assessment at 21. And especially in Greenville, North Carolina.

    The young cross off each calendar day with an X. The old cross off each MONTH with an X. Impatience is the downfall of youth, and the dearth of age.
  • Aodhan

    Posts: 3828

    Apr 30, 2013 5:56 PM GMT
    you are doomed
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    Apr 30, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    AmazingAodhan saidyou are doomed

    Save him Prince Aodhan, share your luv, so many lonely souls around here.
  • Aodhan

    Posts: 3828

    Apr 30, 2013 6:03 PM GMT
    Bharatiya said
    AmazingAodhan saidyou are doomed

    Save him Prince Aodhan, share your luv, so many lonely souls around here.


    ahh I have been there so I know what he means. People just need to step up and get themselves out there! He is in his early 20's, man up and make yourself happy!
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Apr 30, 2013 6:08 PM GMT
    Is there some type of movement going on? I swear to god, younger crowd, get your shit together.

    I'm going to Ctrl V just so you can understand how "standard" your situation is.

    "I'm sorry to tell you, but sometimes a good dose of "reality" is way better than a pat on the back. Although there are ways of making your point without being disrespectful, agreed (doesn't apply in your post).

    Truth is, you are 21 years old. Twenty one (to emphasize). Are you already on that stage?

    You know what is really attractive? A guy with who is confident (but not cocky, while we're at it). Embracing your own self will reflect on everything you do, making others perceive that same value.

    You know what is not attractive at all? A guy who doubts himself constantly. What kind of message do you want to pass? "I think I'm not worth anyone's time". Jee, that's not a really good strategy, is it? It is all about marketing, this dating game!

    You'll have to suck it up and work on yourself. I hope you also realize you should be happy on your own first - before finding a "crutch" that will give you a sense of false hapiness. It will be 100x harder if that "crutch" ends up leaving you."
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Apr 30, 2013 6:12 PM GMT
    Ask DIN. He knows about these things.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 6:15 PM GMT
    I agree he may be getting bit desperate regarding relationship and all, I was there once but then after one relationship I think I am happy being single at the moment. Still it's quite hard making gay friends, someone near your age, just for going out, having fun etc. I have made good gay friends but mostly with older guys and they live in another country.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 6:15 PM GMT
    What is it with you lonely guys? So what if you're alone stop saying how lonely you are it's pathetic. I am single and alone and get lonely but you wont see me complain it's just so unbecoming. Get a cat or something.
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    Apr 30, 2013 6:16 PM GMT
    Some guys are joking with you, but seriously, so many guys around your age post this it's not funny. The real answer is, no, you're not meant to be Forever Alone. You're young. You'll develop more self confidence, more social skills, as you get more practice. Dan Savage correctly points out that gay guys - because even if they're out in high school, lack other gay guys to date, etc. - are several years behind their straight peers in social development through early adulthood. So you're really like a young teenager, which means that mooning about how alone you are is right on target.

    Hugs, and feel better.
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    Apr 30, 2013 6:17 PM GMT
    TheLonelyNerd saidLately I have been looking for a guy to be my friend and maybe develop into a relationship. I don't know if I want a full on relationship yet. However, I can't even address that issue yet because I can't even find a guy. I am so socially awkward in person that that approach doesn't work. Plus there is the issue that I am not out. I consider myself bi. I have dated girls before and I have gotten emotional satisfaction from those relationships, but I would like to see what it is like to be with a guy for more than just a random hookup. I can't get a guy though. I sometimes can't even get a reply to a simple message. Sometimes I get reply and the person says all the right things and then immediate convert to dirty talk. There are even times when we exchange pics and the person never responds after receiving my pic. I just want something more! It that too much to ask. Am I so undesirable? I am really starting feel unwanted. And I guess I should just stop using the internet, but I know plenty of people who have success with these sites. Am I just doing it wrong? Am I Just Meant to be Alone?


    When I wasn't out I found it difficult to maintain friendships because I was afraid of being found out. I wouldn't let anyone get close. Could you be doing the same thing and resorting to the internet and hookup sites in desperation? The odds that you will find a friendship that will develop into a relationship are against you. Most people on hookup sites are not there to make friends, in spite of what they say in their profiles.

    If you "want something more" put the mouse down, step away from the computer and get out there and meet real people. In one sentence you say you want something more and then completely turn around and say you aren't sure if you want a full on relationship. What's a full on relationship? SOunds like you really want just a hook up to see if you'd like gay sex.

    NEWS FLASH: People are not clothes you try on to see if you like the fit and discard if they aren't to your liking. That's using people and that, my friend is a hook up. Try being honest with yourself first. People like honesty and can spot a phoney a mile away. Maybe that's your problem with forging friendships?

    Just throwing ideas out there for you to think about.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 6:41 PM GMT
    Hit the gym.
    Find a psychologist.
    Go to Meetups.

    Do all of these things and it will get better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 6:48 PM GMT
    TheLonelyNerd saidLately I have been looking for a guy to be my friend and maybe develop into a relationship. I don't know if I want a full on relationship yet. However, I can't even address that issue yet because I can't even find a guy. I am so socially awkward in person that that approach doesn't work. Plus there is the issue that I am not out. I consider myself bi. I have dated girls before and I have gotten emotional satisfaction from those relationships, but I would like to see what it is like to be with a guy for more than just a random hookup. I can't get a guy though. I sometimes can't even get a reply to a simple message. Sometimes I get reply and the person says all the right things and then immediate convert to dirty talk. There are even times when we exchange pics and the person never responds after receiving my pic. I just want something more! It that too much to ask. Am I so undesirable? I am really starting feel unwanted. And I guess I should just stop using the internet, but I know plenty of people who have success with these sites. Am I just doing it wrong? Am I Just Meant to be Alone?


    paitence i believe the right people will come along just be yourself
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 6:50 PM GMT
    anthony2394 said
    TheLonelyNerd saidLately I have been looking for a guy to be my friend and maybe develop into a relationship. I don't know if I want a full on relationship yet. However, I can't even address that issue yet because I can't even find a guy. I am so socially awkward in person that that approach doesn't work. Plus there is the issue that I am not out. I consider myself bi. I have dated girls before and I have gotten emotional satisfaction from those relationships, but I would like to see what it is like to be with a guy for more than just a random hookup. I can't get a guy though. I sometimes can't even get a reply to a simple message. Sometimes I get reply and the person says all the right things and then immediate convert to dirty talk. There are even times when we exchange pics and the person never responds after receiving my pic. I just want something more! It that too much to ask. Am I so undesirable? I am really starting feel unwanted. And I guess I should just stop using the internet, but I know plenty of people who have success with these sites. Am I just doing it wrong? Am I Just Meant to be Alone?


    paitence i believe the right people will come along just be yourself


    you can volunteer , join different groups make a difference and meet people along the way
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 30, 2013 6:52 PM GMT
    wow, another 21 year old who is looking for a relationship. what in the hell is going on. listen, i get you want a relationship but you are in college. i suggest you have a little fun and go on some dates. if you are not in college. i suggest you have a little fun and go on some dates. dude, go on some dates and enjoy yourself. if you are sounding desperate on here than you are probably just yelling it in person. when a guy smells desperation they run in the other direction
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 7:05 PM GMT
    No one is meant to be alone. Yet it is true life sometimes scares the hell out of you. It is just temporary for life to let you speak from your heart strongly. Everyone is uniquely beautiful the way they are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 7:13 PM GMT
    you're only 21. worry about that when you're 41.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 30, 2013 7:18 PM GMT
    god i hope so. i can't imagine inflicting this level of sheer stupidity and self-indulgent pity on another human being. you're 21 = stop bitching and grow up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 11:22 PM GMT
    if they dont respond after seeing your picture, i would say go to a plastic surgeon, maybe something is wrong with your face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 11:24 PM GMT
    Have to break it to you:

    Yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2013 11:28 PM GMT
    AmazingAodhan said
    Bharatiya said
    AmazingAodhan saidyou are doomed

    Save him Prince Aodhan, share your luv, so many lonely souls around here.


    ahh I have been there so I know what he means. People just need to step up and get themselves out there! He is in his early 20's, man up and make yourself happy!


    Ohhhhh_yeah.gif


    ---

    To the OP, your odds will really go up once you come out and stop thinking about it, it'll happen when least expected.
    Meanwhile, take beautiful Aodhan's advice and make yourself happy.
  • Linus3

    Posts: 4

    May 03, 2013 10:26 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidHit the gym.
    Find a psychologist.
    Go to Meetups.

    Do all of these things and it will get better.


    This is actually good advice, except that I might suggest getting the shrink before getting too obsessive with the gym. Regular exercise does wonders for the self esteem, and a psychologist will help you sort through the baggage.
  • Aodhan

    Posts: 3828

    May 03, 2013 10:28 PM GMT
    A_X91 said
    To the OP, your odds will really go up once you come out and stop thinking about it, it'll happen when least expected.
    Meanwhile, take beautiful Aodhan's advice and make yourself happy.


    aww shucks icon_wink.gif Thanks J!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 03, 2013 10:34 PM GMT
    being alone isn't as bad as you think. bet you you would feel differently if you were with a clingy guy that wouldn't give you your space. icon_sad.gif