would you include friends on a first date?

  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Apr 29, 2013 12:19 AM GMT
    I hate first dates because they're always so awkward, though I'm very extroverted in any other scenario. Sometimes I just wanna invite potential dates to just come join me and my friends, whatever we happen to be doing. That way it's not a "date", and my friends get to offer their opinions of him afterwards.

    Is this weird?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 12:36 AM GMT
    First dates can be awkward if you are in a place like a restaurant or in a room where you're forced to stare into each other's face the whole time haha. There are other places you can go during 1st dates that will kill the awkwardness, maybe a place that involves some type of activity. Something creative
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Apr 29, 2013 2:45 AM GMT
    go to a movie, you dont have to talk or even see each other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 2:52 AM GMT
    Sounds like a pretty lame first date. You would have to be an amazing catch for someone to agree to an interview panel on the first date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 3:15 AM GMT
    ^^ really good suggestion
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Apr 29, 2013 3:22 AM GMT

    Do people still do "group dates" nowadays? I had a really, really religious upbringing where boys and girls weren't allowed to associate with each other without chaperones. Whenever boys and girls got to the age of "dating" they would have to have adult chaperones, or they could go out with other members of the church in a "group date," so there wouldn't be any kind of sinful hanky panky going on.

    You could always ask your prospective date if he wanted to meet up with you and that he could bring friends and it would be a semi-party-like event that way he won't feel that he's being prosecuted by your friends and vice versa.

  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Apr 29, 2013 3:26 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidThinking about some of my recent activities, it seems to me something like a trip to the aquarium or a museum might be your kind of date. It would likely be a "discovery" for both of you, you can talk about what you're looking at (since you don't know each other well enough to talk about much else), and there's often presentations/short movies where you can just stand close and get used to each other. Then by the time you're done, you're hungry and have a shared experience to talk about and a jumping off point to other convos.

    Or bike ride, hike a nature trail, etc.

    I think best first dates are outside both of your comfort zones....that way neither is likely less comfortable than the other. When one person has "territory" (you're at their house, their favourite bar, with their friends, etc), I think it's harder for the other person to feel like you're connecting: one is at ease in a familiar environment while the other feels like a fish out of water.

    My 2 bits.


    That's a good idea. And the other suggestion about inviting his friends also sounds great. Though I probably won't get that home-turf advantage!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 3:37 AM GMT
    I met a guy at a bar and then went to a friends house after for drinks it was cool

    You can invite him to your hangout and tell him to bring friends this way there is no pressure
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 3:37 AM GMT
    Unless we all planned on fucking afterwards no.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 3:39 AM GMT
    Ohno saidSounds like a pretty lame first date. You would have to be an amazing catch for someone to agree to an interview panel on the first date.
    LMAO
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Apr 29, 2013 3:41 AM GMT
    ha ha ha yes that is very weird. its called a date for a reason buddy. i can say one thing there would not be a second date if that was a first date. what if the person actually ended up leaving with someone in your group?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    Nah, I'd NEVER include them because what IF I was enjoying my date? I'd have to divide my attention between friends and the date
  • highforthis

    Posts: 681

    Apr 29, 2013 3:53 AM GMT
    I guess part of it is my suspicion in guys online, or on those apps. I've been showing my more "seasoned" gay friends pictures of guys I've been talking to, to see if they know of anything notorious about him that I don't. That process paired down my list to a third of what I started from icon_eek.gif The gay community is really small
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 3:53 AM GMT
    No. That would be very awkward. You will have to learn how to have better first dates on your own.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 4:21 AM GMT
    This happened to me. A guy invited me to a restaurant where 3 of the people who worked there, including our hostess, bartender, and waitress were all his best friends. He announced our date to them, and it was just awkward. Like really awkward.
  • dev_in

    Posts: 17

    Apr 29, 2013 4:36 AM GMT
    First Dates are the worst. I like to just meet the guy for coffee and chat just enough to know if A) I'm attracted to the 'flesh' version of Mr.Whoever
    and B) Any chemistry at all?

    The dates over once I can answer those. If they scored good on A and B it's time for a real date!

    If you're still in Toronto you should go to Parkdale this weekend. The cherry blossoms are flowering and will be all pretty and junk. There's also a zoo in there somewhere.

    When you get down to it a good date is just a good conversation the activity is just a backdrop.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 4:38 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    I think best first dates are outside both of your comfort zones....that way neither is likely less comfortable than the other. When one person has "territory" (you're at their house, their favourite bar, with their friends, etc), I think it's harder for the other person to feel like you're connecting: one is at ease in a familiar environment while the other feels like a fish out of water.


    You made a valid point. Thanks for the tips
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 4:48 AM GMT
    no i wouldnt
    yes it is
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 29, 2013 4:48 AM GMT
    sounds like a date for blind and deaf people
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 29, 2013 7:45 AM GMT
    I met a dude off here once, just to meet as friends. He had a buddy with him that he didn't tell me about before show'n up. The friend was cooler & more interesting than him; it was awkward at first, but I'm a people person, so the more the merrier.

    In a date scenario, I would think right off the bat that you really weren't that into me to begin with.