Anyone moved from an awesome, expensive area to a not-so-awesome, cheap area?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2013 7:55 AM GMT
    This has come up shockingly fast. I'm not totally thrilled with my job at the moment, and often keep a couple of applications active just to keep a read on what's available. I applied somewhere, got a phone interview (we were told that only 6 people got phone interviews), then was asked to submit answers to a list of questions (pretty typical interview questions), and now I'm being asked to interview on Skype. If they're eliminating people at each stage, that must mean it's down to only a couple of candidates.

    I live in Oakland, which is a wonderful place to be. I know there are California haters out there, but I'll just dismiss your viewpoints icon_biggrin.gif Having lived in a few different parts of the country, if anything, California is underrated. Anyway, this position would be in a considerably less interesting state, but would likely actually be a small salary increase. And it's kind of mind-boggling how far a dollar goes there.

    I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has made a similar move while single. I could go through some specific pros and cons of this particular situation, but at this point, I'd rather hear about general experiences with someone moving from a place they loved to somewhere less inspiring. Any regrets?
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    Apr 29, 2013 8:08 AM GMT
    I went to Oakland and SF couple months ago for the 1st time. That is definently more of what I'm used to coming from Miami. I had the type of guys I wanted to hit on me hitting on me, it was crowded, busy, and seemed to have life.

    I left Miami and moved to Texas and then Denver. These are big cities, somewhat...but the gay scene in these areas is so small. What I look for in a city now is the GAY scene. Because that's what I'm going to have to live with. In Miami, there's always someone traveling through who's down to meet and go out on a date even if it means just meeting at the beach. Most of the not-so awesome cheap areas don't even compare.

    On the flip side, I don't like the idea of all my money going to pay for housing and car insurance premiums. Some days I'm glad to be able to live affordably, other days I miss the fast pace social life that wasn't defined by cliques like many of these 'new' gay cities are. (as in places that you couldn't be openly gay in the 80s)

    But in the end I'd rather live in a so-so city and be living well than to live in an expensive fun city (like Miami) and be broke all the time.
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    Apr 29, 2013 11:20 AM GMT
    Pros of cheap area:

    You can afford to buy a place to live and also put stuff in it

    Save $$$$$$ so you can retire at a decent age not work till you die.

    Travel to other " more desirable areas" for vacations cause hey you now have the cash to do so.

    Don't be in so much debt and be financially free.


    Cons:

    Your going to have to move and moving in any aspect always is annoying

    Your going to have to give up some of the " niceties" that you are used to.

    Your going be be further from gay Meccas/ Ghettos unless you live on either coast.


    Tradeoffs in my mind always point to what makes the most sense $$$$$$$$$$$$ wise because If I lived in a different area then I do now( example I was thinking of moving to the greater DC area but then decided against it when I saw housing and what you got for a dollar)....... so Instead Im staying put....... I'm a simple person anyway.
  • Destinharbor

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    Apr 29, 2013 4:00 PM GMT
    I think the smaller towns have a better quality of life if you like quiet living. If your life revolves around the gay community then probably wouldn't like it. I'd rather go boating and party at basically straight venues a couple of times a week than hit a gay club a couple of times a week. And I'd rather live in a nice condo and have some "stuff" than be out in restaurants and clubs. So the question is how do you live now? Do you need external gay stimulation or are you self contained? Do you value the gay scene and need it to meet guys or can you do that online and find the good ones that way? I've visited friends in NYC and felt claustrophobic in their tiny expensive apartments and not all that thrilled at the dirty, expensive clubs we visited. On the other hand, I love going to NYC and staying in a good hotel and visiting. I guess I only need the scene occasionally and I like to travel so I get what works for me that way.
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    Apr 29, 2013 4:17 PM GMT
    CFL_Oakland said
    I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has made a similar move while single. I could go through some specific pros and cons of this particular situation, but at this point, I'd rather hear about general experiences with someone moving from a place they loved to somewhere less inspiring. Any regrets?

    Are you able to tell us where the new place would be? Some "cheap" areas are not so bad, others very bad, so this is kinda hard to pin down.

    I had lots of military moves while single, and though not the same as being in private employment, I nevertheless either lived in the local civilian community (bought or rented homes), or spent a lot of time in them. That's where I developed my philosophy to "thrive where I'm planted" because the alternative was to wilt where I was planted, as I didn't always have many choices regarding where I was being sent. You just had to make the best of it, and I found I usually could, to the point where the places I ended were at least tolerable, and sometimes quite enjoyable, even when quite small and less inspiring, as you put it.
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    Apr 29, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    Well, sort of. I had career options to move to a couple of expensive places, including the Bay Area. Instead, I moved back to the old family farm and tried working remotely. It's more or less working out, so far.

    For comparison, for about the same cost of a two-room apartment down there, I have a (too) huge house with my own workshops and greenhouses here. While I was gone, the area somehow changed from not-so-awesome dirt farms to an awesome vacation destination. So my (distant) neighbors are now CEO's and the like, some of whom commute by helicopter. As a result, there are a few more cultural options in nearby towns than you might expect.

    I've also spent time in some remote government facilities in small towns out in fly-over country. They're like big suburbs without any "urb." Married people with young kids loved them because there's no trouble for the kids to get into. Younger single people hated them, for the same reason. Watch TV, drink beer. Go someplace else on weekends, if you can get away.
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    Apr 29, 2013 5:27 PM GMT
    Austin Rocks you'll love it here.

    **crosses fingers--keeping it weird.

    It is what you make it...always a plus and minus; biggest trick is finding the mix of compromise that optimizes your happiness--works better/easier single.

    I say go for it, takes time to find out if your compromises are/were worth it--what you really want out of life.
    Find and or appreciate what you had or what you were missing.
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    Apr 29, 2013 5:34 PM GMT
    First world problem.
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    Apr 29, 2013 5:37 PM GMT
    Mobile Alabama is booming , they just started building the Airbus factory . It will not be long and housing prices will go way up . Average cost for a home on Hotpads is 30 to 40 thousand for a 1000 sq ft home , it is expected to be 70 to 120 thousand by 2016.
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    Apr 29, 2013 5:48 PM GMT
    I spent 13 years in Manhattan, then I moved to Philadelphia. I would never again move to a new place in which I know no-one, have no family, unless I was getting a good job and there was the likelihood of community, or it had good networking, like a professorship. In a smaller town, I think men are less fussy, with fewer choices, and love may be easier to find.
    Moving because another place is just a little cheaper is not a good enough reason. The cost here has risen dramatically. The same challenges remain. If your life in Oakland is nourishing and feasible, stay there. There are cities with large gay communities: Chicago, Minneapolis-St. Paul, probably Austin and Dallas, Atlanta, a few others.
    Is the small increase in salary added to by significantly lower cost of living? Will the new city be culturally satisfying? Moving is expensive and a big change. If you can do it and return if you don't like it, then try it while you are young and adaptable. Relocating in this country is much harder than people want to realize.
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    Apr 29, 2013 6:05 PM GMT
    Moved from San Jose, CA to Orlando, FL 7 years ago and I still miss it. However, CA has state income tax, FL doesn't. Supermarkets/food/fruit/veggies is better in CA, cultural offerings as well.
    Bay Area is very liberal, Orlando is ok. Everyone in the Bay Area goes to SF to have fun. Orlando is that center here.
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    Apr 29, 2013 6:33 PM GMT
    Oakland is expensive now? icon_eek.gif

    I live in a not-so-awesome yet still expensive small city (Providence). For what it is worth, I would move to a place like Oakland in a second if I could afford it. If you are single, living off the beaten track can be very isolating. You only live once and what use is more money if intellectual and social stimulation and quality of life are lacking - probably 90% of the gay people here are on antidepressants, and for good reason. I would consider the kind of move you are talking of only if you are in a stable long term marriage.
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    Apr 29, 2013 6:45 PM GMT
    I moved from sf to Montana to get a change of scenery and to run from the sf gay scene. I've loved every second of it so far, except that there aren't that many people here haha. I want to try living on the east coast so I may give that a shot after Seattle.

    Personally, I found that gay people were much more relaxed and less judgemental outside of sf. Sure there are practically none out here but I want something more in the middle.

    Long story short, yes people do it and it makes sense.
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    Apr 29, 2013 6:54 PM GMT
    Basically, you are trading a large increase in spending power for a large decrease in social life. Only you can decide which is more important.

    I moved from Baltimore to Palm Beach County, Florida. Most of my social life was in Washington, DC. It's incredibly inexpensive to live here, but my social life now consists of playing tennis once or twice a week and eating out with my many family members. (Flirting with guys at the gym doesn't count, 'cause you can't tell if they're gay.) icon_wink.gif

    Nothing against family, of course, or living life at a slower pace. But it's a different kind of life for a young, single, attractive (cough, cough) man like me, and I will return to a cosmopolitan city at the first opportunity.
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    Apr 29, 2013 6:58 PM GMT
    omg yes! lol I moved from downtown Vancouver to an affluent bible thumping town in the "valley" just east of Vancouver... in an effort to save money.

    HATE IT so much here and am already planning a move back to the city haha
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    Apr 29, 2013 7:02 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidomg yes! lol I moved from downtown Vancouver to a shitty town in the "valley" just east of Vancouver... in an effort to save money.

    HATE IT so much here and am already planning a move back to the city haha


    Wouldn't it be better to compare it to moving to a different city all together? Any city is cheaper than the sfbayarea and you can still find fun and exciting things to do down their.

    I wouldn't move to a small town again I can assure you that!
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    Apr 29, 2013 7:04 PM GMT
    Chainers said
    k3l3k0 saidomg yes! lol I moved from downtown Vancouver to a shitty town in the "valley" just east of Vancouver... in an effort to save money.

    HATE IT so much here and am already planning a move back to the city haha


    Wouldn't it be better to compare it to moving to a different city all together? Any city is cheaper than the sfbayarea and you can still find fun and exciting things to do down their.

    I wouldn't move to a small town again I can assure you that!


    oh dude it is a different city altogether out here.

    Since Vancouver has the prestigious (sarcasm) title of being the most expensive place to live in North America and my business still in its early stages I kind of forced this upon myself. Really regretting it though. It's all hardcore Christians here, nothing to do. There's about 200,000 people here but at night the streets seriously look like it's a ghost town...
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 377

    Apr 29, 2013 7:06 PM GMT
    One thing I learned after moving 4 months ago is that it's better to make less money and live where you would vacation than live somewhere boring and travel a few times a year. I get to walk out of my apt everyday and see snow covered mountains. I'll never move back to the Midwest.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Apr 29, 2013 7:19 PM GMT
    1blind_dog saidOne thing I learned after moving 4 months ago is that it's better to make less money and live where you would vacation than live somewhere boring and travel a few times a year. I get to walk out of my apt everyday and see snow covered mountains. I'll never move back to the Midwest.

    Well this is true, too. When I moved here, to a small town, it was with the knowledge that it had in abundance the things I like most, namely beautiful beaches, crystal clear water, good restaurants, good shopping and grocery stores, warm weather and a lot of good looking shirtless smart guys (Air Force town). I would certainly suggest you consider a smaller town but only if it also has the things you love to do most either available or close by. I personally don't think the size of the gay population has much to do with my happiness but for you it may be different.
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Apr 29, 2013 7:21 PM GMT
    In 2004, after two years of being out of work, after being laid off, I finally got a government position in Tampa, Florida. At the time I was living in San Francisco, the Twin Peaks area above the Castro. I loved living in San Francisco!!! I still love the city and pine for it every day. I spent a year and a half in Tampa, trying to get acclimated, to the new job and the weather, and never did. My suggestion: NEVER live in Tampa Florida! I love the weather in San Francisco, love the fog, love the sea breezes on sunny days. In Tampa, the humidity was like an oven! The first couple of months of 2004 that I lived in Tampa, there were four hurricanes that roared up the peninsula. Not knowing anybody, and having to evacuate to god knows where at least three times, scared the hell out of me... Plus the bugs that came out at dawn and dusk, ate me alive. And the drivers down there are absolutely the worst! Worst than California drivers by far! I love San Francisco, it's architecture, its history, it's eclectic mix of people and cultures. Since I've been gone since 2004, however, I doubt if I'll ever be able to afford to get back to San Francisco as a resident, it's just too expensive. I'm not one of those rich fags....
  • LJay

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    Apr 29, 2013 7:40 PM GMT
    when I did this it was called 'Moving away after college.' think of it that way at least. Every place has its virtures. You just have to be really honest with yourself about the pros and cons. You must, in these times, be certain that the step is an advance and will not make you insecure in any way. Good luck.
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    Apr 29, 2013 7:42 PM GMT
    not only an area but a complete different country lol! South east France to south east Wales, uk! Why....hmmm it's complicated!
  • reptile18

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    Apr 29, 2013 7:56 PM GMT
    I'm in the process of moving from San Diego, CA to Madison, WI. Madison is still a relatively awesome area compared to a lot of cities out there. I did some research beforehand to make sure that there's a gay scene and some of the hobbies I enjoy (there's a gymnastics gym within 15 mins of my soon-to-be apartment, stores/malls are closeby, an animal shelter and pet supplies stores are nearby, gay bars are about half an hour away (of course, in SD, I wouldn't be going to gay bars because I'd be living with family and the rest of my extended family is just EVERYWHERE), etc. Plus, I'm getting more of a medium salary boost than a small one (slightly less than 30% boost). I'm pretty sure I'm making the right decision. The only thing I have to get used to is the weather... I'll let you know if I can't take it icon_wink.gif
  • AMoonHawk

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    Apr 29, 2013 8:23 PM GMT
    Over my life time I have seen this happen over and over the end result is usually the same the person either gets laid off at the place they relocated to or they get depressed and leave because they miss where they came from.
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    Apr 29, 2013 8:35 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 said It's all hardcore Christians here,


    Seriously, Canada too? I thought that problem happened much more South.

    Sorry for your loss.