Do you think websites such as Real Jock and phone apps have hurt your social skills?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2013 7:44 PM GMT
    I've realized that I struggled heavily with meeting new people in person. I tend to look nervous and un-relaxed and actually have had many people inform me that I come off as a douche-bag when they first meet me.

    I want to say some of this comes from hiding behind a computer. I don't think I've actually ever gone on a date with a guy because I met him in person. It always is a guy I meet from RJ or another place.

    I'm making a new resolution for 2013 that when I move to DC I will introduce myself to a random guy that I do not know and ask him out to coffee or something.

    Does anyone else feel you hide behind a computer or that these types of websites although fun and helpful can be somewhat of a negative influence on your social skills towards people.
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    Apr 29, 2013 7:47 PM GMT
    for me personally? it has not because I'm old enough that I developed proper social skills without the internet... younger guys definitely lack social skills these days. Nobody ever wants to even talk on the phone - it's all via text?

    Seriously, it's a fucked up society we live in these days. That's what I think.
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    Apr 29, 2013 8:02 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidfor me personally? it has not because I'm old enough that I developed proper social skills without the internet... younger guys definitely lack social skills these days. Nobody ever wants to even talk on the phone - it's all via text?

    Seriously, it's a fucked up society we live in these days. That's what I think.


    You are old icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 29, 2013 8:03 PM GMT
    msuNdc said
    k3l3k0 saidfor me personally? it has not because I'm old enough that I developed proper social skills without the internet... younger guys definitely lack social skills these days. Nobody ever wants to even talk on the phone - it's all via text?

    Seriously, it's a fucked up society we live in these days. That's what I think.


    You are old icon_razz.gif


    you're right - I do hate you icon_mad.gif
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    Apr 29, 2013 8:05 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidI actually think it's helped my social skills. RJ especially gives insight into the minds of guys I've often been in awe of and has let me see they have the same BS problems we all have. And some of the heavy discussions have helped me work through self-limiting thought processes (on sexuality and other issues) that both have helped me be more at ease and also avoid saying something that might be misunderstood in that "getting to know you" phase. And just on a day to day basis, it's the vent on my pressure cooker, so I'm just generally less stressed in RL. So no, I think it's actually helped.


    I agree Dave! One of the advantages I have found with being on RJ and participating in the forums is being able to read people through what they say. In RL, add their body language and general disposition and I have something that helps me to get to know them. So yeah, I think it's helped! I'm looking forward to meeting some of the guys on my bud list. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 29, 2013 8:11 PM GMT
    k3l3k0 saidfor me personally? it has not because I'm old enough that I developed proper social skills without the internet... younger guys definitely lack social skills these days. Nobody ever wants to even talk on the phone - it's all via text?

    Seriously, it's a fucked up society we live in these days. That's what I think.


    I disagree with you a bit here. I have pretty good social skills compared to the rest of the people my age, and I was never a social person. I made friends and talked when spoken to. I think it comes from being comfortable in your own skin and relying on the people around you. I personally hate texting, and I love talking. I like getting to know people on a personal level. Unfortunately I can't do that now, but I still know how to talk to people and make friends. Granted I haven't done it in a while, but it's like riding a bike right? (Then again, I don't know how to do that either)

    To the Ops questions,
    I don't think websites have hurt my social skills, on the contrary, they have let me express myself when life did not permit. I'm a laid back kind of guy, and I rarely care if people get a bad impression of me.

    My advice, just talk to guys and see what happens. Worst case scenario, they shoot you down, but then you'll probably never see them again, so what does it matter?

    Asking guys on dates is a completely seperate issue in my mind. But asking guys to hangout or get a drink isn't as hard.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 29, 2013 8:13 PM GMT
    RJ is awesome, it has given me a glimpse into the thought processes of a primitive society and its decay and decadence .... and it makes me laugh a lot icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
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    Apr 29, 2013 9:37 PM GMT
    Not at all. Ninety percent of what I do is getting myself out there and trying to meet new people who can help me push my creative career further. You can't be a shrinking violet when you're asking someone for money. Also I usually work with kids a lot so I have to have good social skills to communicate to them and their parents.
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    Apr 29, 2013 11:38 PM GMT
    Not for me. I have terrible social skills in real life. If anything, RJ and other online sites have helped me figure out how to interact with different personalities. What I say online is closer to what I'm thinking versus what I say in out loud in real life. Talking online has helped me be more assertive about what I say when I talk to people face-to-face.

    At the risk of seeming like I'm bashing the younger generations, I do think that people who grew up with cell phones and the Internet have lost the ability to carry normal conversations with people. E-mailing and texting are often more convenient, but they don't give you the same level of connection with people when you're talking on the phone or in person. So many younger people seem to flake out when there is any sort of real time commitment involved.
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    Apr 30, 2013 7:01 AM GMT
    Do you think websites such as Real Jock and phone apps have hurt your social skills?
    Nope! on the contrary it improved mine! & I think it improves for everyone who are using in a right way...(I meant, not only for fun, but also for learning new things, communication, interaction with strangers, etc.)
    I think that, many are more open in RJ than in their real life...So, in some ways, when we are open, we give honest replies and when we get honest replies we can use it for the benefit of us.
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    Apr 30, 2013 7:05 AM GMT
    lol, no
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    Apr 30, 2013 7:20 PM GMT

    Social skills are developed via incidental learning or overhearing. That doesn't happen in digital fantasyland, but it's exactly that-- a fantasy.