Sexless Innkeeper

  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    Apr 29, 2013 8:46 PM GMT
    So I was in NY the other day, visiting people, hanging out etc., and what was supposed to be my plans for sleeping changed at the last second. I no longer had a place to sleep. Obviously I had friends and family I could have called and asked if I could spend the night, but then a lightbulb went off in my head. On "How I Met Your Mother" there is an episode where Barney talks about the "sexless innkeeper." Basically, you are at a bar, striking out with the hotties, it's late, you're tired and want to go to bed. So, an uggo comes over and starts flirting with you. You reciprocate, go back to their place, and while they are in the bathroom "freshening up" you pass out on the couch.

    It's risky. It's dangerous. It's downright rude. But dammit if it didn't work. I found a gaybar. A few minutes later found a guy. Went back to his place, and I fell asleep and snuck out the next morning.

    Thoughts? Anyone else ever try this?
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    Apr 29, 2013 8:48 PM GMT
    Sounds like a good way to get raped. I just really feel sorry for the couch's. They never asked to be used like this.icon_confused.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 29, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    He probably anesthetized you with a handkerchief while you slept and fucked the shit out of you .... is your ass sore?
  • Rhi_Bran

    Posts: 904

    Apr 29, 2013 9:50 PM GMT
    JumpMan_Josh saidSounds like a good way to get raped.icon_confused.gif
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    Apr 29, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    friendlyface08 said
    Thoughts? Anyone else ever try this?

    No, when I'd leave a gay bar with a guy the understanding was for sex and a sleepover, and that's what we did.

    Your method is dishonest, and much more than "rude". The guy provides you with the shelter you needed, with the expectation, verbalized or not, that sex was part of the deal. You took the shelter but didn't provide the sex in return, or anything, not even your company at his place, unless you had bought him some bar drinks.

    Or did you leave money on the coffee table when you slipped out without even the courtesy of a goodbye? I'll bet the poor panicked guy ran around the house inventorying his things, to see what you might have stolen. Not classy. icon_mad.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 29, 2013 10:21 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    friendlyface08 said
    Thoughts? Anyone else ever try this?

    No, when I'd leave a gay bar with a guy the understanding was for sex and a sleepover, and that's what we did.

    Your method is dishonest, and much more than "rude". The guy provides you with the shelter you needed, with the expectation, verbalized or not, that sex was part of the deal. You took the shelter but didn't provide the sex in return, or anything, not even your company at his place, unless you had bought him some bar drinks.

    Or did you leave money on the coffee table when you slipped out without even the courtesy of a goodbye? I'll bet the poor panicked guy ran around the house inventorying his things, to see what you might have stolen. Not classy. icon_mad.gif

    oh please ... anytime you pick up a guy at a bar just to trick with, you better sleep with one eye open and take your wallet with you when you go to the bathroom ... you mess with fire, expect to get burned
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    Apr 29, 2013 10:23 PM GMT
    Hmm, call me an old stick-in-the-mud....but I never found using people to be clever and/or funny.
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    Apr 29, 2013 10:28 PM GMT
    Why not just pay for a motel/hotel? Wouldn't it be easier (&, not to mention, safer)?
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    Apr 29, 2013 10:47 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk said
    oh please ... anytime you pick up a guy at a bar just to trick with, you better sleep with one eye open and take your wallet with you when you go to the bathroom ... you mess with fire, expect to get burned

    Exactly - the OP's behavior in sneaking out at dawn would have seemed the same to his host as a guy who had ripped him off, causing him worry & stress. And in a way he was ripped off - his hospitality. Sorry, I agree with GordHunter that using people selfishly and without regards for their emotions is not clever or funny, but dishonest & dishonorable.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Apr 29, 2013 10:56 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    AMoonHawk said
    oh please ... anytime you pick up a guy at a bar just to trick with, you better sleep with one eye open and take your wallet with you when you go to the bathroom ... you mess with fire, expect to get burned

    Exactly - the OP's behavior in sneaking out at dawn would have seemed the same to his host as a guy who had ripped him off, causing him worry & stress. And in a way he was ripped off - his hospitality. Sorry, I agree with GordHunter that using people selfishly and without regards for their emotions is not clever or funny, but dishonest & dishonorable.

    Oh, I'll agree that it is dishonest, but the guy picking him up as a trick also needs to use some common sense and in that ... dishonesty will eventually catch up to you
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    Apr 29, 2013 11:04 PM GMT
    Rhi_Bran said
    JumpMan_Josh saidSounds like a good way to get raped.icon_confused.gif
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    Apr 30, 2013 1:14 AM GMT
    GordHunter saidHmm, call me an old stick-in-the-mud....but I never found using people to be clever and/or funny.

    ^^This. While I love Neil Patrick Harris, Barney is not a great role model for gay or straight guys.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Apr 30, 2013 1:33 AM GMT
    GordHunter saidHmm, call me an old stick-in-the-mud....but I never found using people to be clever and/or funny.



    ^THIS
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Apr 30, 2013 1:40 AM GMT
    tuckers_kahuna said
    GordHunter saidHmm, call me an old stick-in-the-mud....but I never found using people to be clever and/or funny.



    ^THIS


    I agree.

    Sorry, OP.....was all in bad taste and I'm sure you weren't thinking this through.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Apr 30, 2013 1:40 AM GMT
    So, an uggo comes over and starts flirting with you ....

    All this implies that the person you are taking advantage of is inferior and less of a person than you, the god of a man you think you are. In which you are the inferior petty user. Payback is a bitch, and it will come, either by becoming an 'uggo' yourself through disease or age, or by being used mercilessly by someone else (rape, beating, robbery).
  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    Apr 30, 2013 3:04 AM GMT
    tuckers_kahuna said So, an uggo comes over and starts flirting with you ....

    All this implies that the person you are taking advantage of is inferior and less of a person than you, the god of a man you think you are. In which you are the inferior petty user. Payback is a bitch, and it will come, either by becoming an 'uggo' yourself through disease or age, or by being used mercilessly by someone else (rape, beating, robbery).


    Everyone else was right, dishonesty, thoughtless, etc, I can agree with all that. But you sir on the other hand mentioned gross inaccuracies. Thinking myself a god? I was better looking than the guy but that was it. He was a freaking NY Times writer, funny, clever, awesome apartment. The term uggo only pertained to the looks, not the whole being (and, should be said, he wasn't that bad looking, just not my type). Payback? Well, let's say karma dealt me the Ugly Duckling card for a good majority of my life and I've already had my fair share of experience with your other examples, so I'm not worried about the universe's payback.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Apr 30, 2013 3:06 AM GMT
    I have double deadbolts in my house so you would have been out of luck leaving in the morning.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Apr 30, 2013 3:06 AM GMT
    friendlyface08 said
    tuckers_kahuna said So, an uggo comes over and starts flirting with you ....

    All this implies that the person you are taking advantage of is inferior and less of a person than you, the god of a man you think you are. In which you are the inferior petty user. Payback is a bitch, and it will come, either by becoming an 'uggo' yourself through disease or age, or by being used mercilessly by someone else (rape, beating, robbery).


    Everyone else was right, dishonesty, thoughtless, etc, I can agree with all that. But you sir on the other hand mentioned gross inaccuracies. Thinking myself a god? I was better looking than the guy but that was it. He was a freaking NY Times writer, funny, clever, awesome apartment. The term uggo only pertained to the looks, not the whole being (and, should be said, he wasn't that bad looking, just not my type). Payback? Well, let's say karma dealt me the Ugly Duckling card for a good majority of my life and I've already had my fair share of experience with your other examples, so I'm not worried about the universe's payback.


    I'll give you credit for the mea culpa here. Careful! Us "Uggos" need love too!
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 376

    Apr 30, 2013 5:33 AM GMT
    Ok, yes a dishonest thing to do but I just can't put that much blame on the OP. How sorry do you guys really feel for the guy taking him home? The worst thing that happened to him was that he didn't get laid that night. The OP was stranded and did what he felt he had to. He didn't steal anything ( I hope ) and didn't hurt the guy (physically). I'm sure he was offended but shit happens. I've been stranded in Boston for a night and stayed at the train station. If I had the balls I would have done that for a real place to stay.
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    Apr 30, 2013 5:55 AM GMT
    1blind_dog saidThe OP was stranded and did what he felt he had to.
    except no:
    friendlyface08 saidObviously I had friends and family I could have called and asked if I could spend the night, but then a lightbulb went off in my head.
  • 1blind_dog

    Posts: 376

    Apr 30, 2013 6:02 AM GMT
    McQueen said
    1blind_dog saidThe OP was stranded and did what he felt he had to.
    except no:
    friendlyface08 saidObviously I had friends and family I could have called and asked if I could spend the night, but then a lightbulb went off in my head.


    Oh, right. Well he's got balls.
  • monstapex

    Posts: 478

    Apr 30, 2013 9:44 AM GMT
    pic of OP the next time he tried iticon_lol.gif


    boynapped-wrapped_up_and_wanked_off_5_30
  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    May 02, 2013 2:22 AM GMT
    monstapex saidpic of OP the next time he tried iticon_lol.gif


    boynapped-wrapped_up_and_wanked_off_5_30


    AHAHAHA!!!!! Honestly, wouldn't be the first time I was tied up with cellophane!

    Thanks for the attempt to stand up for me 1blind_dog. They were right, I wasn't really stranded, just felt like trying it. Thanks though.

    And no, I didn't steal anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 2:39 AM GMT
    You're in for some trouble.

    tumblr_mizq9zDsfd1rwdzcio1_500.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 2:46 AM GMT
    u sound lame dude