Falling for a shy guy

  • highforthis

    Posts: 680

    Apr 30, 2013 5:41 AM GMT
    A couple days ago this guy messaged me online... he had messaged me elsewhere in the past, and we had been on texting terms for a couple days until I lost interest, because he's on the cute side and I tend to go for hot guys. He expressed himself a bit more this time, and came across as shy and a bit socially awkard, as opposed to just curt. Somehow that's what revived my interest.

    (side note: I used to be pretty shy, but have worked hard to change that, and now I'm very outgoing. For some reason, my dates and boyfriends have always been the hot popular guys in their crowd, so I tend to be the innocent, (relatively) introverted one who gets cared for and invited to stuff. I also tend to be frigid, expressing far less affection than I receive, having accepted that the other guy is the veteran at this dating thing. I've always preferred to be loved rather than to love.)

    I decided to give it another chance... we had a chat on the phone for the first time, and after hearing his voice, I wanted to take a bullet for him, and care for him for the rest of my life... feelings I've never had for any guy. What's gotten into me!?
  • jackooh

    Posts: 109

    Apr 30, 2013 7:03 AM GMT
    sounds like you've got your first high-school-crush 10 years later than usual,
    he may seem like the light of your life right now but try not to paint a picture of him as this 'perfect soul-mate' or you may
    a) put him off by being too intense
    b) ignore all his faults cus you're so crazy in-love until one day they all suddenly hit you n you get disappointed cus he's not actually that great
    c) both fall madly in-love with "i love yous" on your first date, marriage on your second n adopted thai babies on your third, then the 'love' burns out after a week n those poor babies have to find a new home icon_sad.gif

    the love-crazies are not that cute dont get swept away in it haha, take it easy!!

    That you havent even met him face-to-face yet n you'll take a bullet for him is a good sign to take a chill pill icon_smile.gif
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    Apr 30, 2013 8:03 PM GMT
    Tell the guy what you've said here. That you're something of a virgin when it comes to being in a mutual loving relationship. That something feels different here. Share what you're thinking and feeling. You may scare him off. You may find love. Stop playing children's games. Be a man.
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    Apr 30, 2013 9:28 PM GMT
    highforthis saidA couple days ago this guy messaged me online... he had messaged me elsewhere in the past, and we had been on texting terms for a couple days until I lost interest, because he's on the cute side and I tend to go for hot guys. He expressed himself a bit more this time, and came across as shy and a bit socially awkard, as opposed to just curt. Somehow that's what revived my interest.

    (side note: I used to be pretty shy, but have worked hard to change that, and now I'm very outgoing. For some reason, my dates and boyfriends have always been the hot popular guys in their crowd, so I tend to be the innocent, (relatively) introverted one who gets cared for and invited to stuff. I also tend to be frigid, expressing far less affection than I receive, having accepted that the other guy is the veteran at this dating thing. I've always preferred to be loved rather than to love.)

    I decided to give it another chance... we had a chat on the phone for the first time, and after hearing his voice, I wanted to take a bullet for him, and care for him for the rest of my life... feelings I've never had for any guy. What's gotten into me!?


    You've been bitten and now you're smitten, and this song is for you.
    *broad grin*
    *eye twinkle*


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2013 1:59 AM GMT
    highforthis saidA couple days ago this guy messaged me online... he had messaged me elsewhere in the past, and we had been on texting terms for a couple days until I lost interest, because he's on the cute side and I tend to go for hot guys. He expressed himself a bit more this time, and came across as shy and a bit socially awkard, as opposed to just curt. Somehow that's what revived my interest.

    (side note: I used to be pretty shy, but have worked hard to change that, and now I'm very outgoing. For some reason, my dates and boyfriends have always been the hot popular guys in their crowd, so I tend to be the innocent, (relatively) introverted one who gets cared for and invited to stuff. I also tend to be frigid, expressing far less affection than I receive, having accepted that the other guy is the veteran at this dating thing. I've always preferred to be loved rather than to love.)

    I decided to give it another chance... we had a chat on the phone for the first time, and after hearing his voice, I wanted to take a bullet for him, and care for him for the rest of my life... feelings I've never had for any guy. What's gotten into me!?


    Well... probably should meet him in person first man.

    Online and real relationships are REALLY different.

    Glad that your happy tho. Hope everything works out for the best icon_wink.gif.
  • highforthis

    Posts: 680

    May 01, 2013 5:25 AM GMT
    jackooh saidsounds like you've got your first high-school-crush 10 years later than usual...


    Is it possible to experience this "first high school crush" after 4 relationships? I must have been really shallow with my previous choice of guys lol.

    We're having our first date tomorrow... he's all nervous about it, about not being on top of his game, not living up to his pictures, etc. So cute!
  • jackooh

    Posts: 109

    May 01, 2013 10:38 AM GMT
    haha well from what you said it seemed like that could be the case, since you've never felt this way before and are always the one being loved rather than loving, didnt mean you were shallow, if anything its the opposite extreme of shallow!

    Good luck in your date!!
  • highforthis

    Posts: 680

    May 07, 2013 1:43 AM GMT
    I'm starting to think that the shyness/innocence was a charade. We went out on wednesday, and again on saturday. While dancing, he seemed a little too good at putting the moves on me lol. He's also admitted to having hooked up once in the past. He also smokes occasionally. All the above sort of destroyed my initial infatuation with him, and now the magic is gone lol.

    If I just wanted a hot sexy guy to maybe have a fling with, there are others I'd choose over him, basically.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    May 07, 2013 2:20 PM GMT
    highforthis saidI'm starting to think that the shyness/innocence was a charade. We went out on wednesday, and again on saturday. While dancing, he seemed a little too good at putting the moves on me lol. He's also admitted to having hooked up once in the past. He also smokes occasionally. All the above sort of destroyed my initial infatuation with him, and now the magic is gone lol.

    If I just wanted a hot sexy guy to maybe have a fling with, there are others I'd choose over him, basically.


    bro, u need to chill the fuck out. icon_confused.gif

    His dancing was too good for u? He hooked up ONCE in the past? LOL, so the fuck what?! are u nuts? You'll be single forever if that's a deal breaker for u. Get a grip on reality, hunni.

    Yall are in ur early mid-20s. Guys have sex. People have sex, get over it.
    He smokes occasionally? Big deal. lots of people smoke occasionally, especially when drinking. You sound ridic. Like a whole effin weirdo.

    U wanted to take a bullet for someone u talked to on the phone then when yall meet, u lose interest cuz he was too good at putting moves on u... lmao, u cray bro.
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    May 07, 2013 2:27 PM GMT
    Import said
    highforthis saidI'm starting to think that the shyness/innocence was a charade. We went out on wednesday, and again on saturday. While dancing, he seemed a little too good at putting the moves on me lol. He's also admitted to having hooked up once in the past. He also smokes occasionally. All the above sort of destroyed my initial infatuation with him, and now the magic is gone lol.

    If I just wanted a hot sexy guy to maybe have a fling with, there are others I'd choose over him, basically.


    bro, u need to chill the fuck out. icon_confused.gif

    His dancing was too good for u? He hooked up ONCE in the past? LOL, so the fuck what?! are u nuts? You'll be single forever if that's a deal breaker for u. Get a grip on reality, hunni.

    Yall are in ur early mid-20s. Guys have sex. People have sex, get over it.
    He smokes occasionally? Big deal. lots of people smoke occasionally, especially when drinking. You sound ridic. Like a whole effin weirdo.

    U wanted to take a bullet for someone u talked to on the phone then when yall meet, u lose interest cuz he was too good at putting moves on u... lmao, u cray bro.


    Cray? No, just typical (from what I've learned in these forums) gay guy behavior.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    May 07, 2013 2:35 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    Import said
    highforthis saidI'm starting to think that the shyness/innocence was a charade. We went out on wednesday, and again on saturday. While dancing, he seemed a little too good at putting the moves on me lol. He's also admitted to having hooked up once in the past. He also smokes occasionally. All the above sort of destroyed my initial infatuation with him, and now the magic is gone lol.

    If I just wanted a hot sexy guy to maybe have a fling with, there are others I'd choose over him, basically.


    bro, u need to chill the fuck out. icon_confused.gif

    His dancing was too good for u? He hooked up ONCE in the past? LOL, so the fuck what?! are u nuts? You'll be single forever if that's a deal breaker for u. Get a grip on reality, hunni.

    Yall are in ur early mid-20s. Guys have sex. People have sex, get over it.
    He smokes occasionally? Big deal. lots of people smoke occasionally, especially when drinking. You sound ridic. Like a whole effin weirdo.

    U wanted to take a bullet for someone u talked to on the phone then when yall meet, u lose interest cuz he was too good at putting moves on u... lmao, u cray bro.


    Cray? No, just typical (from what I've learned in these forums) gay guy behavior.

    this is just beyond....

    he's over-analyzing and being unrealistic. Setting himself up to be disappointed time and time again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 09, 2013 12:07 AM GMT
    OP feels that this guy misrepresented himself, which imo is a reasonable argument. .

    .


  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    May 09, 2013 2:14 AM GMT
    Import saidHis dancing was too good for u? He hooked up ONCE in the past? LOL, so the fuck what?! are u nuts? You'll be single forever if that's a deal breaker for u. Get a grip on reality, hunni.


    OP also said:
    highforthis saidIf I just wanted a hot sexy guy to maybe have a fling with, there are others I'd choose over him, basically.



    I'm guessing that he fell for someone less attractive than his usual type, because of that guy's supposed "innocence", but was let down. Reasonable.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    May 09, 2013 2:18 AM GMT
    If I LIKE a guy, I am definitely a little shy a little but I put more effort with him than anyone. I am quick to come out of my shell for the right person. I like that better than being an open book. More challenge, more mysterious and interesting
  • highforthis

    Posts: 680

    May 16, 2013 11:58 PM GMT
    whytehot said
    Import saidHis dancing was too good for u? He hooked up ONCE in the past? LOL, so the fuck what?! are u nuts? You'll be single forever if that's a deal breaker for u. Get a grip on reality, hunni.


    OP also said:
    highforthis saidIf I just wanted a hot sexy guy to maybe have a fling with, there are others I'd choose over him, basically.



    I'm guessing that he fell for someone less attractive than his usual type, because of that guy's supposed "innocence", but was let down. Reasonable.


    Yeah, I do hook up, but only with superhot guys... so almost never. This one I was hoping to be long term relationship material... is it wrong to think that his unexpected savviness makes him more likely to be a player?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2013 12:01 AM GMT
    ngbbs50480282f0f32.jpg

    You mean This Guy? ISN'T HE CYOOT?!
  • nefficles

    Posts: 511

    May 17, 2013 12:08 AM GMT
    You sound insane.

    You date/fuck the hot popular guys but you dont seem to plan in having a long term relationship with them? If you want cute, awkward, and shy go for those guys. It really just comes off as you bitching to bitch. If you dont like him, fine. Date someone you like. However, you're going to be missing a lot of great guys by just looking through your hot popular guys.