How many dates before you know?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2013 12:05 PM GMT
    Sorry to break away from the typical "why am I single?" posts.

    But I want to ask, how many dates does it take you or do you think it takes you to figure out if you want to pursue something further with someone?

    I like to say I know right away whether we click or not, but heck, things get thrown at you.

    Currently gone on a few dates here and there, I'd like to say I know by three dates if it is or isn't going to work out... Trying to decide here on a few.

    I like to gauge their personality, demeanor, how they treat other people and of course, physical attractiveness is an active component.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2013 12:28 PM GMT
    It never took me too many dates, maybe 3 or 4. But I didn't always know if he felt the same way, so sometimes I had to continue just casual dating, until I got some signs back from him, and one of us felt confident enough to broach the subject, our next step becoming BFs.

    I evaluated guys on many levels, as you do, but I really didn't have an item-by-item checklist I'd go through - I'd just know. Only afterwards might I think of the separate things I love about him. But I do have one idiosyncratic thing I call the "bed test".

    Once we got into bed (with slutty me that was usually on the first date) if we slept together I'd either feel comfortable with him or I wouldn't. He'd either seem like a stranger to me or someone with whom I wanted to cuddle. I'd either keep my distance on my side of the bed, or want to get close to him, like we'd been doing this forever, totally relaxed with him.

    What triggered these opposite reactions I couldn't say, it might even have been pheromones. But they're very clear & distinct to me, and I'd pay attention and follow them. If I felt uneasy with the guy sleeping next to me it meant that was our last date.
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    May 01, 2013 1:03 PM GMT
    3
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 01, 2013 3:15 PM GMT
    "Sorry to break away from the typical "why am I single?" posts."
    Always start with this and then break right into "how can I know if I'm still single sort of post." Brilliant.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 01, 2013 11:32 PM GMT
    however many dates it takes to get him to agree not to sign a pre-nup
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 1:26 AM GMT
    Call me crazy. But you know from the 1st date.
  • Slickdog21

    Posts: 164

    May 02, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidI only needed one to know: I love dates.

    (They gotta be fresh though...the dried ones for baking are shit.)

    1306491370167.jpg


    Mmm dates and honey on a nice pastry. So much better than raisins!
  • Slickdog21

    Posts: 164

    May 02, 2013 4:44 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    Slickdog21 saidMmm dates and honey on a nice pastry. So much better than raisins!

    try just splitting and pitting them and then replacing the pit with raw cacao nibs (raw chocolate) and folding them back whole again. They're like lil' chocolate bars --sweet, creamy, caramelly with a hit of chocolate and a peanut like crunch. Pure heaven. And full of antioxidants.


    I'll give that a try!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 7:46 AM GMT
    If you're looking for why it won't work out, you'll stay single.

    It takes just one date to figure out if you want to see him again. Then on the second date, you can figure out if you'd want to see him for a third date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 7:48 AM GMT
    (taking notes...)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 8:59 AM GMT
    i think 3 to 5 to know for sure but day 1 you can have some sense of where it will go.
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    May 02, 2013 9:13 AM GMT
    huhwhat saidCall me crazy. But you know from the 1st date.


    GOD this topic, it drives me CRAZY lol

    I agree with the 1 date thing. I guess it really depends on both people. Some say if it takes more than 1 then he is not the one. At the same time, maybe you need to relax and give some people some time. Especially if you are unsure. I mean I have had instances where I wanted to the a guy a 2nd time but I guess he really didn't. So he knew but I didn't I guess. Another time though, I knew on the first date that there was nothing.

    I guess if a guy just wants sex or to be bfs, fwb, whatever, then yah, he won't want a second date. If friends is what he thinks you guys will be then he should at least wanna see you again and not call it a date or do "date" like things icon_razz.gif

    I kinda feel though people are too quick to let people go and pass. It definitely takes more than 1 one date to get to really know someone. Unless you see something that is REALLY a deal breaker or their behavior is messed up then yah no more dates.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 9:25 AM GMT
    smartmoney said"Sorry to break away from the typical "why am I single?" posts."
    Always start with this and then break right into "how can I know if I'm still single sort of post." Brilliant.


    Nah. I'm an optimist. Definitely not a pessimistic thread, just want to get a gauge on what people think.

    Think this latest one though will be a good friend, I just don't quite feel that spark after 2 dates.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2013 10:25 AM GMT
    I agree with knowing after the first date, unless you have a major lack of awareness/intuition. If sparks are there, you will know it, if not, you will know it! Throw in the variable of how patient you are and how good you are (or not) at being single then it becomes harder. I have friends who amaze me at how easily they date one guy to the next, gettting a feel for it as they go. For me at least, it's got to be there from the get go, no point dragging out the the inveitable 'we need to talk' conversation!!!
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    May 02, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    afl35 saidI agree with knowing after the first date, unless you have a major lack of awareness/intuition. If sparks are there, you will know it, if not, you will know it! Throw in the variable of how patient you are and how good you are (or not) at being single then it becomes harder. I have friends who amaze me at how easily they date one guy to the next, gettting a feel for it as they go. For me at least, it's got to be there from the get go, no point dragging out the the inveitable 'we need to talk' conversation!!!


    ^^This
  • Aodhan

    Posts: 3828

    May 02, 2013 2:26 PM GMT
    took me around 5 with my ex, but I guess it depends on the person